Tag Archives: Belgium

27/01/2015

Bold as Brass

By hairygoose

Stupid is as Stupid does……..I think that was Forest Gump?  Well, he must have been talking about the locals in Belgium as far as I can see.  I hit the forest this afternoon for my usual 27k romp, expecting to set a good time for all the slipping and sliding I was doing in the mud, when suddenly, as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared.  Well actually no he didn’t but there was one section of track, maybe a quarter of a mile long, a footpath worn in the forest floor that had been blocked by the local forest boys that had been out there chopping down trees.  In that quarter-mile section, they had chopped 6 trees down, each one of them laying perfectly across the track I was trying to cycle on.

I don’t get it.  How much of a twat do you have to be to do that 6 times and not notice the well-worn track that you are dropping these trees on ?  I like the forest but man is it claggy at the moment – all of my running and biking times are suffering.

 

I did give an old lady a right rum treat today.  For those of you that haven’t been here to the house in Belgium, one of the stair cases is visible from the road purely because of a ‘strategic’ window in one of the interior walls.  I have often bounded up and down the stair section in question, aware that people might see me in the nuddy but have never really been too bothered about it – it would need a very specific set of circumstances to get the timing right.  So brazen am I about it that I even do it at night, dark outside, light on inside – you know what I mean.

Well today I came happily trotting or maybe even cantering down that flight, completely in the nud, my bell end slapping half way down my shin and then onto my chin as I bounced happily from step to step.  I then noticed a pair of feet on the footpath outside.  With every step down I saw more of her, with every step down she saw more of me. She had definitely had a full frontal of my swinging wanger before she started to look away – better still, she had stared just long enough to see it without me catching her looking – as her head came into view, it was already moving downward, averting her vision but more importantly, avoiding eye contact.

I had to have a little chuckle to myself

That was at about 3pm this afternoon – since then, there has been a steady stream of old ladies walking past the house

 

More Halo action tonight with Mr. B – making the most of the empty house while the bird is away.  Do I rock or what? 20 years ago, me in an empty house of an evening would have resulted in 16 Russian Circus Lesbians spending the night eating chocolate from each others bodies while the strippers tried to see how many of them could get on my face at one time without actually suffocating me.

 

Rock On !!

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08/07/2014

Barcelona near miss

By hairygoose

I have been thinking recently, dangerous I know.  Some of you will be aware that there is a speed camera just up the street from me.  The speed limit is 50kph and quite rightly so – but 50kph should be easy enough to reach on my bike right?  I have tried so hard to trip that bloody camera but I cannot get past 55kph which is probably right on the threshold for taking my photo.

The other afternoon, I even tried using a bus to reduce wind drag, undertaking it and popping out in front with probably 50 metres of road left before the sensors in the tarmac.  I popped out of the side, centered in the road and as I crossed the sensors, looked back over my left shoulder to see if it flashed – NADA!!!

I did see the bus driver smiling though as he realised what I was trying to do.  And that got me to thinking……….Maybe I could add to the list of eccentric English sports that are available

The Worthing Bird Man  – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4XQtphCd0w

Coopers Hill Cheese Rolling – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOyQBSMeIhM

World Shin Kicking Championships – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGXDwbzlJKw

How about ‘Tow in Speed Camera Baiting’ ? (Westwood’s gonna love this one – and I ain’t talking about Tim)  Similar to tow in surfing, where a jet ski is used to boost them into a wave too big to paddle into.  Obviously there would be points for tripping the camera in the first place, followed by style points for tripping it with a little flair and thirdly, as the sport is called ‘baiting’ – all competitors should be dressed as Badgers – points for the best costume.  Eventually we could get it into the Olympics too right?  I mean, if Mogul Skiing is allowed, tow in speed camera baiting should be fine too.  As a back up, my reserve sport would be Olympic Bonking. Simple rules – whoever comes first, looses!

Anyway, enough nonsense.  My reason for todays entry was to highlight a recent near miss at Barcelona Airport.  I wanted to point this out to you because I believe there has been a gross error in the quotation supplied to the BBC.  The beeb reported that …

The plane then lands safely on the runway shortly afterwards. Officials have denied passengers were in danger at any point.

Now, for me, having worked in Spain for several years and knowing the work ethic of the locals, I strongly suspect that the quote should have read as follows

The plane then lands safely on the runway shortly afterwards.  Officials have denied passengers or ground crew were in danger of being disturbed from their siesta at any point

But I have a link for you so that you can decide if you want to fly to Spain for your holidays in the near future

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PbIVO8TDq4

 

Lexa – let me have your address again to send another prize.

 

England by Thursday morning – if you feel like having a chat give me a call – 07500 562 776.  If I don’t answer, maybe there is some swell after all and I will be catching my first English wave in over a decade.  I will be visiting The Battle of Britain Memorial near to Dover on the way in, before heading to either Camber Sands Bay for a surf check (remember the Inbetweeners caravan trip) or up to Joss Bay, just outside of Margate.  I may then venture up to Cromer on the east coast in my efforts to find an english wave

Still no sign of Verity – and I haven’t heard from Max in a long time either – where is everyone ?? come to think of it, Jo Beach too.  I know Sue is still with us though, I finally had a message last week.

Cannock Chase on Tuesday next week with Steve-o and Rue before returning to Brasil on Thursday 17th.  McCoy, last time we spoke you were living not far from there – come on – get in touch.

 

Rock on

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29/06/2014

Glastonbury, Wimbledon, World Cup Disappointment & The Magnificent 7

By hairygoose

The summer is in full flow and festivals are upon us.  I watched Blondie play Glasters on Friday night, then last night Metallica and later today I will catch up with Dolly Parton.  Where else in the world could you find such a miss mash of artists all under one barn roof ?  My only moan can be that I have never been able to get tickets – to the point that I don’t even bother to try any more – but still, one has to love the die-hard attitude.

The World Cup continues to excite.  Sure, England are long gone but that was expected.  The next grudge match is on Tuesday when USA play Belgium.  We will no doubt wander down to the local square which will be heaving  with youths and pensioners alike – we will sit in with the pensioners.  Tricky spot for the missus (she is old enough to join the pensioners) but being American in Belgium on that night might prove tricky.  Actually my money is on Belgium BUT I don’t doubt the USA could actually pull it off if they play with a bit more self believe – it’s a win win either way for me, I would like both of them to go through but that isn’t possible.

Tennis – what a waste of good TV time.  I would ban it completely if I was in power.  For years now, the Brits have been clinging to any player with any link to the island – remember a guy called Greg Rusedski? Hailed as british, living in Canada blah blah blah.  Now we have to deal with that scott Andy Murray. He is Scottish so the English should stop trying to claim him as their own.  I suspect that if we put as much effort into raising home-grown talent as we put into tracing some weak link to someone elses sports stars – we might actually gain some ground for ourselves.  Worst still, the BBC awards these foreigners with Sports personality awards while overlooking our home-grown talent.

Moan over – now the good stuff.

 

By now, all of you except Lexa should have your hands on your T-shirts. To kick-start the last phase of this competition, I have started a new photo album called ‘magnificent 7’ and added no less than 10 shots of me in my shirt.  Let this be a clear inspiration to you all to get clicking – no excuses.  Closing date for all entries is 01:00 on 15th July – Connor, don’t be late this time bud !

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22/06/2014

Verity McCoy – Where are you ?

By hairygoose

This will be a long one – best make a cuppa right now.

Let me start off with the inevitable – England football team.  As always a complete shower of shit, at least they are consistent.  Do they not appreciate the fact that we, the people, cannot survive on a world cup victory from before I was born, we need several more.  I never fully understood the mentality of the English National Team, but let me explain a little.  Below is a clipping from the BBC website from the morning of the Uruguay match (before the game was even starting) – just have a quick read

How to win at football

How to win at football

 

Now, please call me old-fashioned but I for one assumed that the best way to win the world cup was to go to the stadium, get your kit on and then realise that the you have to win every fecking game you play instead of looking for the strangest, most convoluted way around loosing and still getting through.  That’s just me though, a common sense, no-nonsense midlands boy – what would I know?

There are also some benefits of being an ex pat.  Last week we headed into the centre of Brussels to watch their team play.  Everyone dressed in the national colours or flying the Belgian flag and no-one being called a racist for doing so.  It was a happy affair, all were jolly and most definitely a little drunk but all having a good time – AND THEY WON !!!!  It was a good experience.  Today, they play again at 13:00 so I will walk down to the square at the bottom of the street where they have a big screen, pull on my Belgian flagged jesters hat and ham it up with everyone else.  Last match saw an estimated 2500 people on the square so should be fun.  Kick off is not for a few hours yet, in fact it is only 08:30 but there is already one keen fan walking down the street blowing  a vuvuzela.

So England – stop fucking about and get on with it.  Remember though – Anyone but Scotland right?

Moving on

Currently resting after getting back from Brazil last week then spending 5 days entertaining guests that have just left for Paris this morning – hence the early posting.  I have had a little tourist plod around Belgium but also, some of you may find this hard to believe, that stinky swamp infested shit hole called London. A very famous wax museum, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, Tower of London, London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben & the Houses of Parliament.  I was impressed – for this little day and a half trip, I still had some small change from the 1 million pounds I took with me!

Actually, it wasn’t so bad.  Even found a Fish and Chip shop on Baker Street that served fish, chips and mushy peas for just over 50 quid for 4 people.  It was very tasty too.  A place called ‘Holmes’ very close to Baker St tube if you fancy it ?  I was impressed – I had 3 septics with me who all wanted to try the legendary fish and chip experience – I told them they also needed to try mushy peas and they weren’t disappointed.

The septics are now off to Paris for a week to meet some other family and then they will all do battle with the striking garlic munchers to get out of Paris again to  complete their holidays.  Train and Plane strikes to come this week. God bless the French – I often wonder why we didn’t just leave them for the Germans.

On a lighter note

The Magnificent Seven

You know who you are but for the benefit of others…….

Lana

Neal

Verity

Mush

Rupert

Lexa

Lynsey (spelt correctly you might note)

Connor

These are the recent competition winners and it gives me great pleasure to announce that your winners shirts have been dispatched and should all arrive within 1 week.  There is of course the required mandatory entry into the next competition – I need at least 3 photos of you all, while wearing your winners shirt. As the missus suggested when completing her competition entry, one of those photos should be a wet T-shirt photo and YES – that means the boys too!  So get your shirt on and get snapping – Remember, at least three (you can send more) and you must be wearing the shirt in all of them.  emailed to the usual address for me.  The winner of the ‘best photo’ will receive something very special by return.  Closing date will be in a few weeks time but don’t delay, click today.

Anyone with information as to the whereabouts of Mrs. Verity Smith (Nee McCoy) please let me know.  despite posting an entry for the competition, she has yet to be in touch again with her address for the winners shirt.

There are only 9 of these shirts in circulation, I have Nº 1, the other 8 are owned by the Magnificent Seven listed above. Clever bunnies will appreciate there are 8 names on the list – just remember, as competition rules go, my decision is always final and Connor is a very lucky boy.  I fully expect a stunning array of photos from him.

Later today, I will be watching the Austrian GP – an all Williams front row – I bet no-one saw that coming, most likely not even Massa (avoiding the obvious joke about the object that hit him a couple of years ago).  Good luck to them, that’s all I will say. My money is on ………………

 

Now please let me sleep for a while, I haven’t had a full nights sleep since we set sail from Ft Lauderdale, Florida on 19th May.  As I now have a month off, expect some epic adventure

 

 

 

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01/03/2014

As Roy Orbison once said – It’s Over !!

By hairygoose

A successful trip I have to tell you.  On the 26th February I secured my Scuba Instructor license.  Now, I am ready to leave, back to the cold, rainy dampness that is called Europe.

I am looking forward to it I have to say.  I have one last run planned in my old trainers before I relegate them to the bin and then I can collect my car and get ready for the road trip back to Belgium.

The trusty ‘Specialized’ is still in pieces, I hope I can remember how it all goes back together after 3 weeks or more away.  I am now only 1 month away from returning to work – that saddens me a little but you never know, maybe I won the lottery while I was away and work would be a thing of the past.

Security continues to tighten around the resort.  You have to feel sorry for the locals though, they work hard and are very friendly but the place is empty through no fault of theirs.  I met a local shop owner the other day who told me his business had been going down the pan since the troubles here began.

I am looking forward to having a razz in my car too – funny how I always am excited to be getting back behind the wheel of that motor.  As hard as I remember, I don’t think I have ever enjoyed a motor quite as much, even back to the old LeasePlan days where it was not unusual to have a car sitting on my driveway that was worth more than the house – The Rangie just ticks all the boxes.

So, back to the grind as it were.  Tuesday morning will see me hit the Brussels forest for the first time in almost a month – that will be a pleasure I know, then the scamble to get the bike back up to speed and all will be back to normality (or as they say in Lana’s world ‘normalcy’).

I am tired, if not exhausted and am not looking forward to the slog back to England but it has to be done. Goodbye Sharm El Sheikh – Hello Europe.

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11/06/2013

Damage Destructor

By hairygoose

It’s almost time – tomorrow is my last day aboard the good ship Timoneer – all I have to do now is argue with the Captain to get the cab fare to the airport as part of my repatriation.

I am excited to be taking the summer off again of course, and most of all, I think I am looking forward to being able to run cross country.  The rugged countryside of Cape St Vincente in Portugal is my first stop, then an old favourite, The Belgian Forest close to the house and then of course, the English bridalways in full bloom.  I am just so bloody bored of running roads and pavement now, but first I have a short stop in Mallorca again until 8am on Sunday morning when I get on the fast ferry via Ibiza and onto Denia.

So you might think that having the summer off would be relaxing and slow paced but already I am booked up until 27th August with a diary full of stuff to do. Not much time to spare, but of course I will be enjoying the Rangie in all its left hand drive glory.  Cannock Chase is on the cards with Mr.B on 7th July, a trip to St Petersburg and Moscow at the end of July, Scuba Instructor exams in August in the very tasteful resort of Benidorm on the Costa Del Sol – I am something of a Jet Set playboy it would seem.

I am also toying with the idea that if I don’t find something I like workwise for September, maybe I should invest in a Gas Turbine course in the states – a little bit of personal progression.

So for now, one more day to survive then a squeezy jet plane out to Milan tomorrow evening and onto Palma the next day.

Expect a summer of more enthralling blogging, video making and piracy on the high seas.

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20/10/2012

The last of the Summer Wine

By hairygoose

A year has passed since I wrote my note – I should have known it right from the start!

This time last year I weighed in at 115.2 kgs, thats a little over 18 stone, or if my mothers scales are to be believed, close on 18 1/2 stone – or for you septics, 253lbs.

In the last year, I have covered some miles, all under my own steam – 2360 to be more accurate! That equates to over a quarter of a million calories burned in specific exercise. I have ran my longest single distance non stop of 10.2 miles, cycled on my mountain bike for a whopping 51.4 miler and even managed a top speed on the mountain bike of 44.6mph – it is all wholesomely impressive. My trousers have also shrunk somewhat, from a rather lardy 40” waist last October to a now very delicate by comparison 34” waist.

You would hope that with less of a belly, my knob might appear bigger but sadly no. More seriously though, I have logged activities in Belgium, Spain, UK, Antigua, Florida, St. Maarten, Rhode Island, Maine, Nantucket Island, Savannah and most recently Las Vegas with Georgia and the Caribbean looming before christmas.  It has been an incredible journey.  I have also worn out 3 pairs of training shoe in that time, thats over 300 squids worth of footwear! I have 2 new pairs of running shoes safely tucked away under my floor in my cabin – they should last until we get out of the caribbean and back to civilisation.

My original Claude Butler Mountain bike has been retired and I now plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the land with my Specialized instead – but it is fed and watered by gods almighty hand. Yet to be ridden in serious anger, I am becoming one with my new steed, practise indeed for when myself and Mr. Brown meet once more somewhere up on Cannock Chase no doubt.

So what is next I hear you ask? A half Marathon is on the cards, followed some time in the near future by a full marathon but you will have to keep stopping by to see what I am up to, and more importantly, where I am up to it.

Let me leave you with a figure on that weight loss. Today, as I stand here, I tip the scales at………..

92.9kgs   or around 14 stone 8lbs

or (for the septics)

204lbs

 

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