Stupid is as Stupid does……..I think that was Forest Gump? Well, he must have been talking about the locals in Belgium as far as I can see. I hit the forest this afternoon for my usual 27k romp, expecting to set a good time for all the slipping and sliding I was doing in the mud, when suddenly, as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared. Well actually no he didn’t but there was one section of track, maybe a quarter of a mile long, a footpath worn in the forest floor that had been blocked by the local forest boys that had been out there chopping down trees. In that quarter-mile section, they had chopped 6 trees down, each one of them laying perfectly across the track I was trying to cycle on.
I don’t get it. How much of a twat do you have to be to do that 6 times and not notice the well-worn track that you are dropping these trees on ? I like the forest but man is it claggy at the moment – all of my running and biking times are suffering.
I did give an old lady a right rum treat today. For those of you that haven’t been here to the house in Belgium, one of the stair cases is visible from the road purely because of a ‘strategic’ window in one of the interior walls. I have often bounded up and down the stair section in question, aware that people might see me in the nuddy but have never really been too bothered about it – it would need a very specific set of circumstances to get the timing right. So brazen am I about it that I even do it at night, dark outside, light on inside – you know what I mean.
Well today I came happily trotting or maybe even cantering down that flight, completely in the nud, my bell end slapping half way down my shin and then onto my chin as I bounced happily from step to step. I then noticed a pair of feet on the footpath outside. With every step down I saw more of her, with every step down she saw more of me. She had definitely had a full frontal of my swinging wanger before she started to look away – better still, she had stared just long enough to see it without me catching her looking – as her head came into view, it was already moving downward, averting her vision but more importantly, avoiding eye contact.
I had to have a little chuckle to myself
That was at about 3pm this afternoon – since then, there has been a steady stream of old ladies walking past the house
More Halo action tonight with Mr. B – making the most of the empty house while the bird is away. Do I rock or what? 20 years ago, me in an empty house of an evening would have resulted in 16 Russian Circus Lesbians spending the night eating chocolate from each others bodies while the strippers tried to see how many of them could get on my face at one time without actually suffocating me.
Rock On !!