Monthly Archives: July 2016

A day in pictures

I didn’t feel like writing too much today so I thought I would add some pictures to help out.  Remember when you were at school and the teacher gave you a written assignment that had to be at least 1 full page of A4?  I used to space out my words a bit more.  Always got busted. I was never an A grade student but that was exactly the kind of cunning that made me the spectacular engineer that I am today.


Lets start on a happy note – recently grabbed a bargain on eBay – a pair of tyres for the mountain bike for less than £30 delivered. Sexy tread pattern, two tone black and grey.

New Tyre

Nice eh? and is that my very sexy Range Rover in the background ?  Oh what a shot !


The next three photos are all in the category of  ‘Is their any hope left for the human race?’


I snapped the first one on the train last week to Coventry.  A north bound train that had originated in London.  I got on and sat at a 4 seater table that had 3 spare seats – can you tell why?

Buy a Laptop

A full size iMac taking up most of the table.  I thought those London City slickers were supposed to be smart?  I was going to show him my laptop and suggest that there were more portable versions available now but then I thought no, he must be a banker.


Smokers outside the Hospital doors?

Smokers outside the Hospital doors

How fucking mental do you have to be to push your drip outside to have a smoke? Maybe that drip is full of brain cells?


Now finally, the most serious of them all.  A triple X rated fright – the scariest thing you will see in a long time, American politics.  I heard a political commentator today on TV suggesting that neither of the current candidates for American President are that popular but these two are particularly frightening – look at their faces, would you trust this pair?

Clinton & Kaine

Look at them for a minute – they look like they just finished licking clean the inside of the windows on their special bus and have now been let loose on the exterior.  Holy fuck I would be shitting myself if I were American.  If Trump wins, he will piss off half of the world, if Clinton wins she looks like she might try and eat the other half!  I wonder if Jeffrey Dahmer will be drafted in on her presidential election campaign? Kaine looks fucking mental !!!!

That by the way is a genuine screen grab from my phone I took while reading the BBC during this mornings dump.

The only real hope for America with this one is for the electorate to agree NOT to go and vote and Obama stay in office until a suitable challenger can be found. I suspect though, Bill would sneak out in the middle of the night and vote for Trump.


Los tiempos van cambiando

Pika Chuuuuuuu

Ok, I am sorry, I admit it – I downloaded my version of the app yesterday.  Tried playing but their servers were too busy to register me so had my first game today, and would you believe it, there was a damn Pokemon on the aft deck !!

I soon finished that one off and plan a walk around Palma tomorrow morning to look for more of the little critters.  Most likely finishing up at Cappuchinos where a very juicy slice of carrot cake will be waiting for me.


I had a little trip back in blighty the other weekend.  One thing I was keen to do was catch up with Top Gear to see if it was as bad as all the media were saying.  Now let me get my initial bias out of the way immediately – I think Chris Evans is an annoying little gob shite, never have liked him, never will.

Armed with my prejudice, I watched my first show – it also happened to be the last in their current series. Something struck me immediately.  I had watched Clarkson, May and Hammond and gradually grown bored with their predictable presenting and delivery style.  What I hadn’t bargained for was just how scripted Top Gear was.  The new guys were delivering the same lines with the same emphasis, same facial expressions, pauses, body language etc etc as the old three did.  That surprised and saddened me.  I was sad because I thought that the style that the old presenters worked in, was their own personal style – apparently not.  The BBC had hoodwinked me.

Top Gear had grown long in the tooth a long time ago.  The best bits, the only bits really worth watching were the specials – watching those 3 old guys squirming in the real world, would always be funny.  So for me, when it ended, it was just inevitable really.  The new guys, you can easily match up with the old 3 – Clarkson/Evans, Le Blanc/Captain Slow, Hammond/Reid.

Sabine was absolutely first class, especially when she looked into that Mini rally car at Le Blanc and said ‘look at the fat American’.

I wonder if anyone has told Chris Evans that pixie boots went out of fashion in the 80’s?

So now we wait for the new offering from the old stable.  If they have been smart, they will have changed the format.  The fact that they will present from a different place each time makes me think they have been shrewd and may even pull it off.  As for the old Top Gear, drop an axe on it – Le Blanc is no good as a front man and that style is now old hat – reinvent or bury.



Ok, running – or lack of it.  Still suffering from a knee injury that means I haven’t ran for over a month now.  Making up for that with cycling every day but climbing a mountain is tough in 31º heat, even worse in direct sunlight.  Maybe tomorrows Pokemon hunt will help entertain me or better still, a snorkel session at one of the local beaches could be good.  One thing I know for sure – the carrot cake will be sublime.

Apart from that – we are almost done here in Palma, returning to the South of France next month.

1 little speckled frog

sat on a speckled log

eating some most delicious grubs


one jumped into the pool

where it was nice and cool

now there are no little speckled frogs!


That last line didn’t work as well as I hoped.  If I am honest, I remembered the last line as being about green speckled frogs but that equally ruined the rhythm too.

Oh well.  So a certain Mr. Gove got his testicles handed to him on a plate today – I am very happy about that.  I hold Mr. Gove personally responsible for denying the Great British public the spectacular occasion that would have been Boris Johnson as Prime Minister. Theresa May is a good option, certainly no BoJo but if her bollocks are half as big as Margaret Thatcher’s were – we will be in for a good ride – hold on tight !

Boris Johnson always reminds me of a modern-day Winston Churchill.


Last weekend should have seen me running in the Great North 10k but an old war wound was preventing me from entering the battle.  I did email them and tell them I wouldn’t make it so I should get a free entry into next years event.  I have to admit to being secretly gutted about that.  I had a low race number (only 3 digits) and a start in the very 1st wave of public runners – from there, I could have done some serious damage I am sure.  I almost had a tear in my eye as I opened that runners pack with such a low number in it.  Next chance is September for the Great North Run.

As if to add insult to injury, I got a standard issue email from them on Monday telling me how special I was to be part of something so great and to complete the race.


Silverstone this weekend, I predict a Rosberg DNF and a Hamilton win. Nico is not a bad chap, it’s just for me, when under pressure, he cracks and makes a mistake whereas Lewis is just more consistent. I hope Jensen Button has a good run too – he is, after all, a thoroughly likeable chap.  Maybe next year Button will get a drive with Williams – then, I predict he will cop off with the ever so sexy Claire Williams and live happily ever after.

What more can I tell you?  I have been exploring the mountains on my bike so expect some new video soon – the down side of that is that whenever I take my GoPro with me, I always feel the need to wear my helmet.  Whenever I wear my helmet – I always crash!


Yum Yum

That’s a Nasty Gash !!


Just because I could !!!

So another night, same old TV channels, only tonight, no more Fast n Loud.  Tonight my chums, a certain Mr. Jerry Springer is gracing my screen.

I hoped to have a masterpiece to write this evening after a 2 hour blast across the mountains on my bike but instead I opted for a glass of chilled white and a brain fart.

Maybe something good will come soon? Good Luck to the Welsh tonight – I hope they give the Pork and Cheeses a good ass whooping – I would be especially happy if Cristiano Ronaldo got fucked in the arse by a double-decker bus.

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