Monthly Archives: April 2011

Two weddings and no funerals/Lisa Melvin – hot, naked lesbian

My last chance for the next three weeks.  In about 6 hours, my first plane takes off to Germany, and then from there, a 747 will carry me across the atlantic to Miami.  After that, a quick hop to the Bahamas.  I know it sounds glorious, my holiday finishes and then i return to the Bahamas but reality is no sooner than i have landed and found the boat, we will be off again on a transatlantic crossing.  My first Bahamas visit will last no longer than 2 hours

My headline for this entry is a mix – two weddings coming up this year, nothing unusual in that , but at my age, i had expected all of the weddings that were going to happen to have already happened.  But two latecomers to marital bliss have decided to tie the knot.  Take a bow Steve Brown and Mason Jones.

I am not aware of any funerals but then again they do have a habit of jumping out on you and surprising you don’t they!

The Lisa Melvin comment is one that brings me massive amusement.  My close friends will know Lisa Melvin, the super hot 30 something chick that has graced the local town of Rugby, Warwickshire for many years now.  Years ago on my blog, i wrote a little bit about Ms Melvin and people started arriving at my blog from their search engines because of that name.  I was so curious about it that i googled Lisa Melvin myself.  My entry called ‘I love Lisa Melvin’ gets a google nº1 hit.  don’t believe me? open google and type Lisa Melvin.  The nº1 hit is ‘The November Archives’. Corporations will pay google massive amounts to get that kind of exposure.  Anyway, its a cheap shot but using the most successful headline for drawing in hits, i am to increase readers while i cross the atlantic.  As a spin off, i also wonder if i get nº1 & nº2 on google search.

I am sure they are all looking for Lisa Melvin in the states but so long as google promotes me for free, why should i let up?

Thats about it anyway, i just wanted to write something to keep you all occupied while i am sailing my way from the bahamas to europe.  I am miffed at the lack of subscriptions but would like to thank Verity, Steve and Lana for their support.

It would be nice if i got into the med and checked the site and it had received a flurry of new sign ups – I have over 450 friends on facebook, if only half of them subscribed to my blog that would be magical – i promise to mention all of you individually

Anyway – time for bed.

Britannia Road Rescue – not if they can help it !

Nope, not drunk, just fuming mad.  For those of you that keep up with my stories (and you should – it’s piss easy to subscribe) you will know that my long suffering pile of shit mondeo has been in the repair shop now for 6 months.  Today i visited the shop who said they were at a loss and agreed it would be better for me to re-patriate it to england and have a dealer look at it there.  No problem, thats why i paid extra on top of my insurance for cover.

Not so easy.  Called them up and spoke to a young lady who wriggled and squiggled to try to get out of helping me – why? because i had tried to get the car fixed myself at my own expense rather than calling them first.  ‘ it’s been out of the country too long`she said.  Nowhere in my terms and conditions did it say anything about this, but she found it in hers.  So i logged a complaint, tomorrow i will call my insurers LV and ask them if they want to intervene – after all, it was their supplier.

I was also agasp to learn that only a week after asking for an EU bailout, i drive my normal road home to find a trench on the hard shoulder from Lagos to Sagres where they are laying fibre optic cables for high speed internet.  If thats not bad enough, on the same stretch of road, 12 junctions with traffic lights are being modified to round-a-bouts.  Nothing wrong with the lights at all.  Imagine asking for a handout after your own politicians veto’d austerity measures only to spend mindlessly on road changes that are not needed.

Its always a stark reminder of how retarded this country can be.  Like the soon to be toll road, the A22 which runs from spain to the western tip of the algarve.  When built, politicians swore it was a safety issue, replacing one of europes most notorious sections of road with a free motorway.  well, its still free at the moment but when i drove it this morning, the gantries were going up for the toll charging system.  Now i suspect that might scare off the spanish when they plan their short weekends away – and the spanish are big spenders over here – thats logic for you.

I take my hat off to Josè Sòcrates who resigned when he didn’t get political support for his proposed austerity measures.  I never understand public logic – the country is bankrupt but lets not stop spending – god no, that would never help.

So i remain miffed at the moment. No sagres bohemia in the dromedario although i did finally manage to blag a free t shirt from andreas – it only took 6 years.

So thats about it, rant over.  If you haven’t yet subscribed to my wonderful blog, please do so immediately and tell many friends to do the same.

And while you’re at it, please tell all your friends how Britannia Rescue have abandoned me in the western algarve

Return to Europe

Imagine my level of happiness – finally after almost 6 months on the wrong side of the Atlantic, i have a ticket back to europe on thursday.  Sadly, it is a return ticket so i will have to come back to Florida but not until after i squeeze 10 days in belgium and 2 in portugal.

It took me all of half an hour to pack my things today – only one bag, managed to get everything into it and still have room to spare.  Flights between europe and america, belgium and portugal and hire cars have knocked a hole in 2 grand, and thats before i have even bought pizza for the missus.

Still no joy from the house engineer and also still no joy with the car at autorapo.  The engineer has not been in touch for two months now and the car has been in the garage for 6 months.  I plan a sweeping assault on all that is holding me back.

A flying kick to the office door of the engineer will catch him by surprise and i can pin him down and find out whats going on, then , next stop, Autorapo.  If there is still no joy there, i will be using my european recovery which i paid a mint for, to transport the car back to england and land it safely in the hands of Moserve.

My german friend Uwe will be looking after my possessions for me until i can get the new house built – although i have been wondering with Portugal in an EU bail out, if i should consider somewhere else – Answers on a post card please.

I have also ordered a stack of DVD’s for the crossing back to europe on the boat, including ‘Alo ‘Alo, Doc Marten, green wing and 30 rock.  I am almost looking forward to the crossing with that bunch of nonsense.

Got the new Foo’s album today too – will pass judgement on that in a few days.  Also, i would like to bring to a close the Mac versus PC debate.  I have now had the Mac for 3 months or more, have the software for spreadsheets, presentations and letters installed.  The total cost of the rig so far is around 2300 usd, which is massive – almost three times the cost of a reasonable pc.  It feels good to touch, it starts up quickly too – infact let me tell you how so –

PC start up – start up, go and put the kettle on, come back to pc, enter password, go and pour water on tea bag, mash it , and return to pc to begin work

Mac start up – turn it on, pull out chair, sit down, begin work

The same can be said for the shut down procedure too.  The Mac does hang sometimes too but it is momentary and it always resolves itself.  I have completely refrained from installing any microsoft software on it.  So – if you are considering a Mac instead of PC, here is my recommendation.

If you can afford it, its ok.  If not, dont stretch yourself.  And remember, there is still a lot of functionality software that doesnt work for Mac, so from an engineers point of view, you will still need a pc.

enough of that bollocks –


Holidays are coming




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