Monthly Archives: September 2008

Pile On

Thunder and floods

It was a real surprise to return home to where i expected to find sunshine , only to have two days of rain and thunder storms – seems there was more sun in england when i left.
Friday night session was seriously heavy – as expected.  The boys met me at the airport at around 9pm and we made it to Warung just before 10.30.  Plenty of cold Bohemia in the fridge but we soon finished that – A double measure of jack daniels each and we were flying high.  Now, don’t get confused with a double measure here and in the uk.  a UK measure is 25ml – here it is 60ml – thats standard – but remember, no-one bothers to measure here.  So at best, that glass of jack would have been like 6 in blighty.
we paid the bar bill – 86€ – then decided to stay for some shots too – only this time, i went behind the bar and poured whatever we wanted and kept a tally chart.  Another 50€ later, well, just look at the photos.
There was one scene that was video’d and will be available soon for you to view.  Sven wants to add it to the bar’s myspace for advertising, of course, i said yes, and as soon as we do, there will be a link here for you all to see it.
Saturday was a complete write off as you might expect, we are still a little jaded today if i am completely honest.  Chilling in the warung with a big breakfast.  some south coast swell but i dont think i will be able to talk the grommets into a surf – time will tell.

Dead Duck!

A woman walked into the vets with her pet duck.  She put it on the examination table for the vet to examine.  He picked it up, looked it over, lifted a wing, turned it on its back and pulled one of its legs.
The duck did not respond.
The vet gently placed the dead duck on the table and turned to the woman with a very sad face and reported ‘ I am sorry madam, but your duck is dead.
No, No, that can’t be – replied the woman – I want a second opinion.
The vet looked a little perplexed but in the spirit of customer service moved to a door.  He opened the door and returned with a 5 year old black labrador.  The dog sat at the end of the table and sat on his haunches with his front paws on the table.  The labrador looked at the duck and sniffed its ass then looked back at the vet with a sad eye and shook it’s head no!
The vet took the labrador back to the door and returned with a cat instead.  He placed the cat on the table next to the dead duck.  The feline began a beak to tail sniff of the duck, gently sniffing all the way down the body.
The cat also gave a sad look and shook it’s head.
The woman was still sniffling when the vet passed her a bill.
The woman cried out – 120 pounds for that?????
to which the vet replied
it would have been just 20 pounds for my examination but the lab report and the cat scan were 50 pounds each too !!!

Recruitment Agents

Lazy little gob shite wankers – all of them.  I havent met one worth their salt yet, from both sides of the fence.
From my heady days of being a boss in london and seeing the crap they send you after you have carefully spec’d out a role for them , to present day where, they NEVER acknowledge that you have been in touch with them.
Infact, a couple of years ago in Mallorca, i registered with an outfit called – they would have you believe they were a market leader – at what i wonder.  I registered with them, completed all of the application forms they asked me to, added a photo to my cv like they asked me too and then what??  not a fucking thing for 11 months – and then they call me, to ask me about a job on a boat that i had just started on two days previously.
But lets be honest – Dovaston is a market leader – at least they did call after 11 months, the other cunts just don’t even bother.
So , over the weekend, i registered with 4 more agents, after they requested me to enter all of my details into their database so that they can do piss all to collect their commission of one months salary.
Today, i got an email in return, asking me about my movements to arrange an interview.  I responded and then got a mail back saying, please call our office in Antibes, France.
After i picked myself up off the floor, i emailled back to tell them that they are welcome to call me but i do not chase recruitment agents – all of my work in three years has been based on recommendation only – never through an agent.
lets see what happens from here.

A little shot of inspiration.

I am feeling compelled to write something – the sun came out today, finally after over two weeks of crap!
Of  course, while in blighty i have been watching a little english tv – not a lot, just a little.  There are now so many price comparison web sites advertising on tv that i had a brain wave – i should create a web site that compares the comparers!
OK, boring now but the road improvements made where the A34 meets the M4 have made southampton to rugby possible in a little over two hours…….boring!
Gary Lineke has sold her surfboard – now thats not exactly committed is it?
Steve Brown has finally asked Nicola Burbery to marry him
Dean Collier is still a sex pest
Alex Clifton is the eternal fag
Russ & Mason are both cocks of equalling degree
rupert yates was extracted from lower heyford sucessfully.
Junior Gurnsey finally squeezed her baby out – late of course but with junior as a role model, she was never going to be on time
and me – i have been sticking to the speed limit wherever i go.

A streakers love story

This is awesome – and completely work/family safe

You can’t beat a good bank !!!

had a call from my bank, First Direct , today.  they were calling to tell me that the police had been in touch with them and informed them that my credit card details had been obtained for fraudulent use.  No one had actually used it yet, but they were on the ball and had cancelled the card and would send me a new one.
how good are they ???

wrong side dude

It happened, after 6 days, i finally did it.
Pulled out of the driveway this morning, turned right and saw a car coming towards me.  Started thinking to myself ‘what is that fool doing on the wrong side of the road?’
And then it hit me – I was on the wrong side of the road !!!
Happens every time i come to england, thank god i take full insurance on the car!

Nigella Bites

Ok, i have been in england for 5 days now – i have never been so cold in all my life.  I have had my biggest jumper on ALL of the time.
Until today – Firefighting day 3 – Practical tests.
Today i sweated my nuts off.  you just wouldn’t believe how hot it gets inside those metal test simulators.  Breathing aparatus, fire suits, gloves, flame hoods and wellies all adding to the heat generated by a pallet fire in the lower deck.
And there were no swooning chicks about while i was in my fireman gear !!!
But i did get a very special treat when i got home
Nigela Lawsons cooking show was on.  This girl, is seriously, and without a doubt, the sexiest girl in all of england – if you do’t agree, you are simply wrong!
She cooks with passion so intense, i keep expecting her to burst into multiple orgasm at any time.  If ever a phrase was made for a person, the phrase ‘english rose’ was made for Nigella Lawson.  It was a warm welcome back to the uk.
But enough of that – More firefighting next week, but this time, the advanced course!!!!!!!!  things are hotting up.
Tomorrow it is a day in the water, a custom build pool to learn about life rafts, jackets, water entry and rescue boats.
Saturday, i am venturing into Southampton City Centre for coffee and cake, will take my camera and be a tourist for a day
stop by soon

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