So bloody hot here at the moment, I can hardly be bothered to move.  I see people running in the middle of the afternoon and almost pass out at the thought of it – I am still saving my exercise regimes for early doors or early evening when it is cooler.

Talking of early doors, yesterday morning I headed up the mountain again on my bike, getting close to the summit, I came across a couple of chicas walking their dogs.  Only turned out to be the chef that sailed with us to Brazil last year – how random was that?

This week we should get our summer orders so I will know when I am leaving for a little break – in fact, I think I might announce it here first so be sure to come back and check later.

Please all say hello to my most recent subscriber – his name is Mason Jones – or to give him his full name according to the delivery docket I completed for him this week, Mason (smallcock) Jones.  Actually, it was more of an involuntary subscription – he gave me his password for something else – I subscribed him !  Either way, he is one of the biggest bell ends on my contact list.

So what else is new? Not much, ready for a break and a little bored if I am honest.  10k race in July which you will all be able to watch on the TV – I have to decide what colours to run in yet so any ideas greatly appreciated.

I am running a little light on poo photos so if you have some, get them across to me so that I can include them in the photo album ‘Turdilicious’.  I fully intend to take up Connors offer of shitting myself in Lucy – but let me explain that one – Lucy is his VW Beetle.

I also found out this week that the Prodigy have a european tour this year with Public Enemy as support – that could be an interesting outing for Rupert, Colin and myself!

Anyway, time to get off and do nothing for the rest of the afternoon – let me say hi to a few people

Rupert, Claire, Sharon, Jacqui, Connor of course, Jones the Cock, Sue Smith, Milf Horley, John and Mon (or mum and dad as I like to think of them), while we’re on that side of the fam, Lynsey & Amy, Amy Horne the old scrote, Christine Thornton, Steve & Nic, Deano the spaz, Junior Gurnsey – in fact, all of the Gurnseys (doesn’t look like I will make Kelly’s wedding – don’t worry, I’ll get the next one!!), Joyce & David, Jen & Den, Sam & Mark, Little ‘Mo and Noah, Kaz Thornham if she is still with us, a special hello to all of the non UK readers – super special to those outside of Europe but a very big hello to Ms Timothy down in saffa land – she might actually be the most distant reader.

I am in need of ideas – photo competitions or general stupidity that I need to achieve – call it a mid-life crisis

And Happy Birthday to Lana for tomorrow – better early than late I reckon

Spam me up buttered scone