Monthly Archives: October 2009

I wont let those munchkins munch your Jaffa Cakes !!

Where are we today ? – still in mallorca but hopefully only for two weeks more.
I just got back from a short trip to England, which was of course, immense fun, but before i start my untrained waffle, let me please issue a thunderbolt on those inconsiderate baggage handlers who damaged my brand new, still unwaxed surf board.  (you may be amazed at my controlled language back there – i recently learned about some of the readers of this blog and have decided not only to keep it mum clean but also juniors clean too)
Anyway – i spotted my surf board on the conveyor and then, before it got to me, spotted a hole in the top of the bag.  I knew what to expect, i have never travelled with a board on any airline and got away damage free – its just one of the certanties in life.  What really grieves me is the severity of the damage that they can be dealt.  The damage is so harsh , i cannot believe it was accidental – it looks like the bottom of a pram frame has been rammed dead centre on the top of the board, ripping a hole in the bag an inch wide and inflicting even more damage to the glass and polystyrene below.  Of course, it can be repaired, and then coated in sex wax so i doubt you will see anything of it but i am still miffed that people can be so inconsiderate of other peoples belongings.
Moving on swiftly……..
I would like to thank Hertz Car rental for not giving me the Mondeo that i had booked but instead a Mercedes Coupe.  It was pleasant to say the least and i found the cruise control very handy for the trip north.  all the roadworks and their average speed cameras – bah – cruise on at 50 and hey presto, no tickets.
Bristol – its a funny place i know.  I have been crossing that bridge for maybe around 15 years now.  I cannot ever remember a time when there were no roadworks on that bridge.  It has been a constant coned off area.  I don’t get it.  Have they been overrunning on their works for a decade ?
Eventually of course, I would arrive in Rugby, home of Rugby Football.  It does startle me on my travels, how few people know that the game of rugby football was named after the town where it was invented.  Maybe i am a little bias, the link is easy to make in my mind.
It is infact, one of my favourite views of the town in Autumn.  From Barby lane looking across the fields where all those years ago, a young nipper called William Webb Ellis picked up the ball and put it over the goal line of the football pitch.  The referree of course, blew his whistle incessantly until Ellis had stopped his run and placed the ball.  Removing the whistle from his mouth, the referree (who was also a teacher at the school – proper old english stock don’t you know) then shouted, ‘nice try ellis – but you can’t do it that way you fool’  Not only was the game invented but also the name for the act of scoring had been born, all in one foul swoop.
Anyway  – the view across the field, as the leaves are turning colour and falling to the ground.  Sound seems to carry better on autumn days, it has more clarity to its volume, you hear things that you dont hear in other seasons, even though they are still there.
You can almost imagine the long shorts and even longer socks and the toffs play on that field – sorry, i was getting carried away there, its just a view after all….
Let me hurry up………saturday night, went out to a party and into town.  bumped into a shed load of family and friends i havent seen in years – got well munted and went back to Deano’s house who then threw up in his kitchen sink, then went to bed – spewed all over his duvet, then slept in it.  The G man, also puked in the downstairs toilet, then fell asleep next to it but not before getting his old man out for the camera.  Justina made some very sexy poses of the bonnet of the Mercedes, then deano deleted all but one of them.  Another of life’s certanties – Deano will always be a dumb ass.
Bumped into Junior Gurnsey, never saw Lynsey, Sharon Williams who i havent seen in 20 years, sharon evans who i havent dated in 14 years, Michelle Belton who didnt look as if she was enjoying her date, Clive Hagues from school and Jackie Evans  to complete the mischievous twins scene.
It was a wonderfull 6 day break, take a look at the photos next door.
sleep time

5 years the ex-pat

It is hard to believe in a way but the time has passed.  in less than two weeks time, i will be celebrating 5 years away from England.
Of course, it has been an epic journey of adventure but i am sure you would expect nothing less of me.  I still remember it well, the day i left my house, handed the keys to the new owners and crunched my way off the pebble drive for the last time in my trusty blue vauxhaul carlton.  the most epic of journeys was about to begin.
My journey started late on 23rd October 2004, a saturday night if my memory serves me well.  I had slept on the floor for my last night at home – all of my furniture had been given away, sold on ebay or taken to the local tip.  My car was full with everything i needed, some stuff i didn’t really need and my two groovey surfboards clamped firmly to a rusting pair of paddy hopkirk roof bars (courtesy of Mr. Richer).
I turned onto the M6 at junction 1 and headed south for Dover.  Of course at 10.30 on a saturday night, the motorway was empty so i crept up to 70mph and hit the cruise control.  My ferry didnt leave until 07.30 the next morning and so i was destined to arrive early.
Once on the mainland i crossed ‘the Somme’ . Post war – this place still had a very eeirie feeling about it, my hairs stood up, goose bumps made me shiver and i held my breath.  Driving across France was an eye opener – a beautiful flurry of small towns, tree lined roads and McDonalds.  Eventually i would reach Le Mans, i was no stranger there.
Biarritz would also be a port of call, with a little business to attend to – a quick surf was in order before heading into Basque country and across the mountains in the dead of night.  France was bloody big !!!  I remember that for sure.
Spain was almost as big too.  I managed to time my run to pass through madrid in the dead of night, and that proved to be a wise decision.  6 lane motorways around the city – can you even begin to imagine that in the middle of the day?
I had to stop in southern spain to sleep, i was completely shattered before continuing on after a very dodgy sleep in the car at a service station.
Finally, i made it across the border and into portugal.  First stop was in Faro to buy a portuguese SIM card and then onto Sagres for some dinner.
For 3 nights i camped at Salema before i found a job and an apartment to keep me entertained for the next year.
That year was an absolute blast.  I was in good shape, we had good surf and even better weather.
It took me all of that year to find the house.  OK it was a bit rough and needed some work but it was bang on the right spot.  to this day, that alone has kept me sane.  I know when it is finished, it will be an awesome venue for me to surf my 40’s away.
Then , suddenly, i got into boats.  It was a great way to earn some money to fix up the house.  Problem was, i also enjoyed it too, so here i am still working on boats
after i had told myself that after leaving the uk, i was going to take it easy.  The biggest benefit is of course the money.  in another 18 months, i will be able to rip the house down and start from fresh – a bit like i am building my retirement home.
But none of that will happen until after i have sailed the atlantic again, passed through the panama canal and stonked out of the other side into the pacific.  The next 18 months will be a most excellent adventure i am sure, such highlights as Tahiti, Galapagus, Caicos, New Zealand are all on the cards and by the time that trip is finished, i will be building a home
A date for your diaries – summer 2011 – come to my new house in portugal and celebrate the summer.
Anyway – enough of this – i have added some photos from the past 5 years.  a real mixed bag of photos i have either taken or appear in.  I got carried away if i am honest, there is nearly 150 of the buggers but do take a look.

mixed days

funny when things are like today.
at work, it seemed that every time i went into the engine room, there was an absolute banging tune on the iPod – so i cranked it up and worked to the tunes.
then again , getting home this evening at the crew house, is almost like work never stops.  the modern day clammer for the ‘must have internet’ gets right on my fucking tits i have to say.  But i am bias of course – because i am the stupid cunt that has to get everyone hooked up.  And then, there are those error messages that you just don’t want to see.
‘If the problem persists, contact your network administrator’
yes – thats me too.  Now people, please let me give you a tip. if you need such urgent internet access, take a tip from me……
Buy a ‘3’ dongle for when you are in a country that has a 3 network and a ‘vodafone’ dongle for rest of the world, then whenever you have that ‘must have internet’ urge, you can plug your dongle in, connect, pay for it yourself and leave me in peace.
thats all for now
leave me alone

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