Monthly Archives: January 2008

Don´t tell me they´re not intellegent.

It does seem absurd that these wonderful creatures are still being caught and killed deliberately in fishing nets around the world.
watch the clip, it is work and child safe, no volume needed.
Now you are completely in awe, just like me.  I havent seen any dolphins on this voyage but after my dive courses, i am pleased to say i have seen some awesome marine life.  Today while on the bottom and about to remove my face mask, my instructor frantically told me to wait – a small sea turtle was swimming straight toward us while we were motionless on the bottom, this was my closest encounter to date.  We also peered under a rock to watch two lobsters hiding away from the human dinner table, followed a barracuda as it hunted for its dinner and swam amid schoales of fish of all sizes.
Think before you pollute!!!
ok.  i am shattered now, i need to sleep and it is only 1pm.  On thursday evening our guests arrive and then we have 10 days of heavy work.  Our light at the end of the tunel is a week off in martinique once they have left, and then, by late february we are heading home.
I really can´t wait to get home.  OK , i know home is portugal but at the moment, anywhere in mainland europe will do just fine, the ability to get things done with minimum stress and fuss is a good thing.  The instructor here in Antigua just told me to post my PADI details from somewhere else, not here, because the beuocracy is bullshit.  she has been waiting for a birthday card since november!
So soon, back to civilisation and some surf.
If alex faggotpants is out there – tell me about my new pranche grande

Dedication – As Roy Castle used to say

Its just before 6am local time and i am up, sitting on the cold dock concrete ordering parts from england.
Yes, i know being in the caribbean for such a long time is a pretty cool thing to do but it has it´s drawbacks.  when you need parts and you need them urgently and the rest of europe is 4 – 5 hours in front of you, you just have to get up early to get the order in.  It does help if you can find a supplier in the states but on this one, i couldn´t do it.
Now i wait, for confirmation e mail and then i can go back to bed.
Took my final test for PADI dive yesterday…….i managed to get one question wrong, which wasnt a problem in itself but just bothered me slightly.  I did of course double check the question in my study book and i was wrong.  Last two dives on saturday morning and unless i do something completely stupid, i am home and dry, except i am not, i am actually away and wet but thats just splitting hairs.
Our last guests arrive next thursday for ten days.  We will be cruising back around the islands before they leave us on 10th february.  After that, we head with the boat to martinique for a well earned week off and then load the boat onto the ship and then back to europe.  I can´t wait to get back to palma for a while, even better still, to get home to portugal for the summer and do nothing more than surf.
it is a tough life – i will probably win the jackpot on the lottery this weekend too.

Todays Dive

Was a little deeper, a little further out, on the reef, there was life out there.
First thoughts were of watching old sci fi movies. i now know where the set designers got their inspiration from – the reef bed.  I was also lucky enough to be leading the group when a sea turtle came out of its little hidey hole right in front of me, took a look at me for a second or two and them swam away to do whatever it is sea turtles do on a sunday after church.
Not to far further on, i spied a bloody great eel hiding in its den.  Although i couldnt see it all, i knew it was huge by the size of its head and gaping mouth.  i gave that sucker more of a wide birth than the turtle.  Sadly i missed the stingray as i was still trying to equalise my ears to get to the bottom.
Tomorrow, one final dive and the big test.
so this afternoon i will spend swatting with my book and drinking tea so that i am fully rested for tomorrows excursion

it rains here too

normally over night and not for long but we just had a mid afternoon downpour.
Just back from day one of my PADI course.  It started off a little slow and boring but then just before lunch we took our first dive.  I use the phrase ´dive´loosely because we were in water that we could stand up in.
I guess it is important to learn all your survival stuff in shallow water though.  how to swap your mouth piece, what it feels like when your instructor shuts off your air, loosing your goggles, helping your buddy get to the surface if there is a problem.
fact is, i really enjoyed it, and learned from it too.  scary really when you consider i have been using scuba gear without instruction and blissfully unaware of the dangers.
I have some studying to do tonight and then tomorrow i have two open water dives followed on monday by a final dive and test, after than, it´s on my cv.
It looks like i have one month left here in the caribbean before heading back to europe, and spain.  a couple of months in palma then off to the greek islands again before finishing at the end of june somewhere in greece.  after that, it´s home to portugal for the ret of the year to try out my new longboard.
Yep , Davey the cornishman has the blank on his tressle as you read.  Funny thing is, the board is so big, there are no off the shelf board bags available so i am having a custom bag too, how damn cool.  not only is it my second custom build from ´Groovey´in st agnes but will have a custom bag too.  the board paint will be exactly as i want it and underneath glassed into the board will be my name, so no-one can steal it.
If all goes to plan, i will have the second half of the year all to myself.  I hope to get a new roof on the house and also study and complete an MCA Y4 that will take me on to bigger and better things, more money per month and less months of work per year, generally all equals more surf and beach time, which lets face it, is what life should be about.  Of course, you never know, less time at work also equates to more time to bump into that illusive dream woman.
anyway, enough for now, i have more studying to do before tomorrows dive so i have to go.
keep warm my european chums (unless Ms Lexa Timothy is reading , all the way from south africa)


that was quick……..ordered a couple of things for the boat and the first one arrived this afternoon from Fort Lauderdale, little more than 2 days after it was dispatched.  now all i have to do is wait for two weeks for the customs to clear it !!!
My next package is due in from california,  bet it arrives tomorrow too.
Customer service, the americans have it spot on.    You notice it more when you live in portugal, work in spain and then take a boat to the caribbean.
In portugal if you order something, they just shrug their shoulders and look for every reason not to help you
in spain, pretty much the same
in the islands, just plain lazy
maybe soon i will head stateside to see for myself.  It can´t possibly be as crazy as the media make out

Oh yes!!! time for a rant.
this web site fills my inbox with so much shite that i have been driven to take further action.  I dont want to completely delete my account because infact i have re-established contact with some genuine old chums along the way, but i have to do something!
somewhere between 10 and 20 mails a day, sent because someone was bored at work and it is so easy to add another recipient to the circular, all spewing some complete crap about how someone wants to know or how you rate or what swear word are you .(this one actually had promise until my results came and i was expecting to be a cunt or at least a cock!!!).
so , i am going to see if i can block crap from the three main offenders without deleting their accounts. If not, i can delete them.  I mean, they all now have my email address, they can use that right?
not completely.  I have a few of my good friends who now dont use my old fashioned hotmail account any longer but email me via facebook!
so, let me begin this social experiment. be sure to check back soon to see how things are going.
authors footnote.  don´t forget people, that free BMW is still up for grabs for the 20,000 visitor.  we are so very close now!

memoirs of a not so distant past

important to point out that i will not be mentioning any names for fear of returning to a shit fight situation.
i had some contact today with an old flame which left me completely bemused.  It was suggested in her e mail that I did her head in and also that she had been looking over her shoulder all day for fear of me being back in town.
Naturally i questioned this because, from my memory i recall having to block her number on my phone to stop her calls and text messages.  when that wasn´t enough, i had to block the email address too, after the – i am pregnant – and – i lost the baby- emails came and went…… maybe you can understand my confusion.
Anyway, enough of that
this morning i dusted off my old marathon trainers.  they havent been used in a year , maybe a little more but i decided to run to the beach this morning and have a swim before the rest of the crew woke up.  Now these old shoes of mine were once accustomed to running the equivalent of a marathon each week but this morning was only a mile and i have to say , i was completely shagged when i got to the beach.  I still managed a swim and then a gentle canter back to the boat and i have to say, i feel a lot better for it too so tomorrow morning , some more of the same.
it still feels wierd to be in the ocean on a january morning at 7 am  in just my shorts.
Looks like we have details of our next visitors too.  they will join us un antigua at the end of the month for 12 days.  after that, we can ship back to palma for some well earned maintenance work.
check me out again soon to hear of my PADI dive adventures

blissfull weekends

I am sorry, i hate to gloat, i know how cold, wet and miserable england will be right now.
i just had a most chilled out saturday for a long time.
This morning i booked myself on a PADI open water dive course, that should keep me busy all of next weekend.  After that, coffee and a brownie.  The girl behind the counter asked me ´do you want this huge one´ !   doh, chocolate cake – me – no question about it..
after my highly nutritious breakfast, i walked to one of the local beaches with the snorkel gear.  As the place was almost empty i decided to snorkel in the buff.  very liberating and thankfully there were no barracuda around to munch on my tackle.
after that, a walk back to another beach and more snorkelling and lazing in the sun.
finally when i had had enough sun, i went back to the bar for an ice cold beer, sipped it gently until it was all gone and then came home for english muffins, toasted of course with cheddar and branston pickle – i am in heaven.
tomorrow i am on watch so no fancy thrills. will join the video club tonight and rent a handfull of films
authors footnote.  its been so long since i wrote one of these, infact my blog entries in general have been a bit thin on the ground.  let me just say, Antigua is a blissful place, helped by the fact that we are getting time off to enjoy it.  Alll of the islands i have been to on this tour have been good, the best, without a doubt are the french islands.  The worst was the dutch side of St Martin.  Two new islands that we will explore in february will be the british virgin islands and barbuda, i am looking forward to that.  since leaving england just over three years ago, my life has improved immensely.  anyone thinking of becomming an ex-pat, do it and do it without delay, you wont regret it

The italian job

ok, last night i was on watch and desperate.  I finally did it, i plucked the italian job dvd from the folder and watched it.
now, if you know me well, you will know that i am not talking about the 60´s classic with michael caine, but the ponced up, over budgeted american version that came some four decades later.
now, i love the way these guys take something as traditionally british as this epic 60´s villian caper and completely rip it off.
But please guys, get it right……when the mini´s drive, they are always in the order of red, white and blue, the colours of the union jack…… missed that one completely………america – fuck yeah!
you even kept the main characters name the same, good old charlie crocker.  come on boys, have some imagination for yourselves
come on boys, have some imagination and stop filling the world with this boring shite

Transitional period

I woke up at 7.30 this morning and realised that i needed a change so here it is, a new page layout.  Yes i know, it´s not brilliant but bear with me while i search for inspiration to add some more nonsense and complete crap.
i saw a t shirt for sale yesterday, on the front was a picture of two men, one, clearly a tourist, the other clearly a local.  The local of course was tugging on a huge bunger.  The caption underneath read – ´same shit – different island!´.
the other week while trying to tidy up my hard drive i managed to loose more than 85 cd´s.  Thankfully for me, i always keep my iPod well sync´d.  For those in the know, you can´t take tunes from an iPod to a hard drive – or so i thought.  I paid 30$ for a real smart piece of software and hey presto, i can now connect any ipod to my lappie and take tunes from it without affecting my own music. If you need the same gizmo, i can fully recommend this site
On the other hand, if you are thinking ´hey wayne you geek, it´s sunday morning, stop being a complete fuckwit´ and need something to smile about, then i thoroughly recommend the next link. you will need sound but at least it is work safe and rated úniversal´for all the family
or, if you feel like a good old fashioned laugh, again with sound and a universal rating
have a good day at church

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