Monthly Archives: July 2012

I see the Euro has fallen again !!!

Frustrated………..I am beginning to understand why that dude ran into the cinema, flung tear gas grenades and started shooting people.  It’s because he had been trying to call businesses to get things done and just got fucked off with voicemail and people talking shite.

I called a supplier yesterday, with 4 items on my order list.  After describing the first item, she put me on hold immediately after telling me she was going to do it.  When she came back, I asked her if she wanted details of my complete order first before she went off again to check the items.  Her response was, nothing less than classic. ‘ I have two other lines (phones) blinking at me with incoming calls’ strange that, being a phone order line. So I calmly asked her ‘ If I am troubling you, maybe I should call back later?’

I actually went one better – I called a competitor – the freedom of choice is alive and well.

Sadly, I got voicemail again.  I did leave them a message this time ‘where are all the real people?’ before trying again later.  Now let me tell you, Bill was very helpful, sorted my order, paid and dispatched a day before the ‘blinking lights bitch’ even managed to email me a quote.  Today, it got even better.  I found a company called ‘engine controls unlimited’ who make ECU’s for my generators on board. Now these people were just insanely good.  They did momentarily put my faith back in America – I say momentarily because I know next week, some dumb ass will tick me right off in a flash.

Today I went for  surf after work.  I even bought a new board! Oh my missus will moan about that – I always bitch about how much she spends on hand bags but this month I have spent 3000 dollars on a bike and today 400 dollars on a surf board.  I bought a BIC this time, not one of those fibreglass jobs, but a rugged plastic thing that will take all the knocks that the boat will throw at it.  That said – 700 euros is more than a tad expensive for a hand bag – even if it does have a matching purse!

The surf was far from epic and mentally crowded too – but always a laugh…..It’s good to get wet.

Here’s a question for you – crisp packets – why do they make them so damn hard to open? I just tried and gave up, chocolate instead!

I got excited earlier this week – I noticed 3 new subscriptions to the blog – please everyone welcome Neal, Vanda and Connor.  Connor has a blog all of his own – I will post a link shortly.  I would also like to congratulate Amy Winehouse for completing a year free of drugs and alcohol – Well done Amy!

Facebook – oh dear Facebook – recently you will have noticed my plan to ditch the site.  I had over 400 ‘friends’ on there.  I posted a status update saying I was quitting and people should send me their details.  For a select few (well around 130 to be precise) I also sent a message asking them to email me with their mail address as Facebook has last month changed your contact details on your account so I can no longer see your true email address but only your ‘’ email address, whether you asked for it or not!

I had less than 10 responses !

Ok, some of the 130 I already have their details but less than 10 responses – it does kinda make you wonder about the true value of Facebook.  I did read an article the other day about Facebook buying , a company that specialises in facial recognition software – watch out with that one.  Here’s the thing, the USA is so full of gun toting loons that I actually have Mark Zuckerberg in second place on my celebrity death list.

Who is number 1 I hear you ask?  Well here is my list.  It is with great sadness that I put this fella at the top, not because I dislike him, in fact I love this old bugger for just being sensible about things – most recently shunning Martin McGuiness (the murdering bastard) on the last royal trip to Ireland, but purely because of his recent health issues

1. Prince Philip – HRH The Duke of Edinburgh

2. Zuckerberg

3. Bashar Al Assad – this fucker deserves to die and should be at Nº1 but the UN are just gutless on this one.

4. Michael Barrymore

5. Dame Edna Everidge

I admit, Barrymore is a weird one – just haven’t heard anything of him for a while, no dead fellas floating in his pool – what is a hot spot not?

Lets talk about fitness for a while.  I have had a record breaking month in several ways.  137.5 miles of mountain biking, 55 miles of running but only 40 miles of walking. Of course the month is not over yet! Expect increases in all three totals but I won’t be breaking my walking record this month.  Would have been nice to complete the hatrick but maybe next month.  I also hit the very elusive 95 kilos this month, looking somewhat like an AIDS victim if I choose the wrong shirt – in fact, I wore my shortie wetsuit tonight and it was embarrassingly too big for me

I would really have liked to watch the Olympic opening ceremony today but sadly no TV here – I am certain that Blighty kicked ass as only the Empire could

Long Live the Queen !!

Isle of Man TT circuit

Heading back to Nantucket now for the next couple of weeks.  I enjoyed Maine, very beautiful part of the world, only downside is the sheer amount of lobster pots that you have to dodge.  Now, I am not saying there are a few hundred, more like a few thousand – makes navigating this big old bus quite interesting.  I also wondered how there could be any lobster left here with the amount of pots in the water – either that or they buoys are all just for show and there is nothing below.

Treated myself to a new pair of running shoes at the weekend.  The old ones are just completely worn out from the mileage – they have now been relegated to cycling shoes.  On the subject of cycling, I went out yesterday for a quick burn.  When I got back to the boat, the sat nav suggested I had just covered 37.63 miles – the same as the Isle on Man TT circuit, I was well chuffed.  A little later I realised that the TT circuit is in fact 37.73 miles so I dropped a little short.  I also fell short on beating my personal best of just under 40 miles – but in all honesty, I was tired and bored.  Road riding on a mountain bike is not all it’s cracked up to be.

So, America! Land of the free aparently…………not so.  I got ID’d to get into a bar the other night, I am 42 ffs – better still, the stewie on board was refused entry as she didn’t have ID – she is 36.  So many things that you can’t do here – remember the Ziggy Marley concert?  I also cycled onto an island yesterday while out. Got to the gate house and spoke to the guard.  ´Can’t cycle on here`he said, and pointed me towards the bike rack.  You can walk, or drive – but no cycling.  How twisted out of shape is that ?

My recent experiences of America convinced me to watch ´Team America – World Police` again last night – what a superb piss take that was – America fuck yeah – so lick my ass and suck on my balls !!

Distance running has been the order of the month so far – almost 37 miles covered in two weeks.  Only 3 miles to go to beat my personal best for a month!  Next time out will be in my new trainers too.  All of this exercise added to working hard has contributed to a little more weight loss.  Got on the scales on friday to see that I had reached the ever so elusive 95 kilos – in fact 95 dead.  I am now considerably skinnier than this time last year. Actually look like an AIDS victim if I wear some of my old ´fat boy`shirts that I bought a year ago.

To treat you all and celebrate the colony that is called America, I am uploading some recent photos from my cycle yesterday, including a shot or two of my new steed.  I had been running past some graffiti recently and really liked it, so much so that I went back with my camera yesterday.  I pity the fool that mis-spelled ‘happy fourth of July’  I guess that’s what you call American Graffiti.  New photos to the right, click on ‘America 2012’

Take a look at my fitness shit mofo’s, almost 1500 miles in 9 months

4th July Celebrations Stateside

Yesterday, I was talking to a supplier trying to get some spares.  When the conversation had finished, the guy said to me ‘happy 4th of July’! I told him I was English but it appeared to be wasted on him – maybe even some of you.  4th July is the celebration of America gaining independence from the British.  So why would I be celebrating a loss ?  It went completely over his head too.

So the septics won the war of Independence – or so they think!  There are two very poignant points I am about to make that will put into question the level of independence.

1.  When I woke up today and got on deck, on 4th July, a national holiday – it rained.  Things don’t get more british than rain on national holidays.

2. This is a beauty – for all of the remaining days of the year, the septics refer to the date in this way – July 10 or September 11, but for this one day a year, a day that celebrates an alleged victory over the empire, they say it the right way around ‘the 4th of July’ – just like us brits do all year long.

I think subconsciously – we won that battle.

I will say 1 good thing about America though – they do like to fly their flags, and they fly them with pride – something the English are afraid to do for fear of being branded a racist in their own country. While we are on the subject, Spain and Portugal too – you will see flags flying everywhere, but never upside down!

Recent Jubilee celebrations in England made me realise just how many Brits have no idea which way up the Union Flag should be flown – is there any hope for a nation that cannot fly its flag correctly?

But then it all went wrong.  Fireworks to finish the day off and the septics ‘whoop whooped’ the whole way through them. I find it supremely annoying so didn’t stay on deck to watch the fireworks but beat a hasty retreat downstairs.

There is one good thing about 4th July – It’s Colin’s birthday.  Easy one to remember that, a bit like my own birthday, my mum’s birthday (2 days after mine), Jake’s birthday (born on Friday 13th), David’s birthday ( a day after Jake’s) and of course sisters birthday (August – I get in trouble if I forget that one).  The missus reminds me constantly in the weeks approaching her birthday so I don’t feel the need to remember that one.

Enough – soon we leave Nantucket and head for Maine, but in the interim, for those confused flag fliers, please see the link to the Union Flag Act of 2008 below




Lies, Captains and Engineers. Pt II

So smug was my last post that the boat decided to react to it, giving me three alarms that night that would interrupt my sleep.  I, of course managed to solve the problems and get back into bed but did lose a couple of hours.

Friday night, the crew headed out for a Ziggy Marley concert. It was alright too.  a big tent, all seated, with very over zealous security.

Sit down – no dancing in the aisle, sit down, no flash photography, don’t bring your beer in

It did kind of spoil it actually.  I stood outside of the tent with a beer in hand and an excellent view of the stage and that made it much better.  I left shortly afterwards on the back of a Taxi bike, really quite pissed!

Saturday was my watch so not much happened that day, although my new bike did have a shock absorber replaced under warranty, and I then stripped it down and put it in its bag for the trip tomorrow to Nantucket.

I missed the opportunity to beat my monthly run record.  I needed to run on either friday or saturday for around 8 miles but due to my other commitments, I missed it completely.  Maybe this month?  Either way, I am rather happy to say that my total exercise count is now 268 activities, covering 1384 miles and burning a massive 157, 546 calories and all of that since 21st October last year.

Fit as a fiddle

Enough for now, Nantucket Island tomorrow.






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