Monthly Archives: April 2015

Montage of Heck

Thought I would write a little while I am downloading what is being billed as the definitive Cobain movie.

It seems I have completely forgotten the skills set that allows me to solder.  As a 10 year old, I could have soldered a cat to the front wheel on my mums car – as a forty something, seems all my skills have gotten off the bus and walked away. I struggled yesterday to solder some small wires into an 8 pin DIN plug – sounds very boring I know but I was embarrassed at my lack of skills – then, it turns out that I had the wrong plugs anyway so after struggling for half a day to solder them, I then had to undo all of my hard work – that only took a couple of seconds.

I got to Mallorca on Monday morning after some small ferry drama. The original ferry out of Barcelona was an hour behind schedule when I arrived due to engine trouble so I tootled off and had some Tortilla ( I was in Spain after all).  When I got back to the terminal, the ferry had been cancelled.  The unusually helpful spanish did a little more than give me that ‘ you’re fucked now’ Spanish shrug, they actually booked me on the next ferry some 4 hours behind schedule.  I knew of another ferry into the port at the top of the island, Alcudia, and asked if they could switch me to that one instead – and thus it was done.  So, arriving ahead of schedule albeit at the wrong port but even with the drive across the island I was still ahead of my original arrival time by over an hour. An unusual win situation for customer service in Spain.

The next day, there was a huge ferry fire just off the coast – everyone into the life boats and rescued.  I was left wondering if this was the same ferry that had the engine trouble the night before.

So back to the Cobain movie that has already finished downloading – I will watch it over the next couple of days and let you know how I get on with it, more importantly, is it worth all the hype.


I have a new idea for a photo contest



Bermuda Triangle

Look at it from my angle

So here we are, an emergency divert en-route to the Açores to off load a sick Captain to the authorities in Bermuda for some urgent medical attention.

Turns out, he has a gall stone around one inch across.  That’s a big stone by anyones standard, even compared to a testicle, it’s not a bad size – in fact, the Captain continually talks about wanking and cock sucking so maybe it is a testicle previously swallowed and not ingested fully.

I have to confess though, initially I thought he was just being a drama queen – you know what these Italians are like.  Every time we tried to sail, something broke and after two days I just assumed his illness was feigned so that he didn’t have to show his face at the helm again and the embarrassment of fucking shit up every watch.

Even the phone support never picked up on the possibility.  It was only the experience of the designated person ashore (That’s DPA in ship speak) that suggested we turn and head for Bermuda.  I make light of it, but the turn for Bermuda has now cost us 7 days.  At the point of turn, we were 3 days away from Bermuda and 5 days away from the Açores but Bermuda was West, the Açores East and we wanted to be heading East – so it was 3 days in the opposite direction.  Imagine that – a 7 day diversion !  Next time you hit the M25 and have a 5 mile diversion, think yourself lucky.

There was an Ambulance waiting on the dock that whisked him off to the hozzie.  Later that night, the Mate started getting ‘whatsapp’ messages from an old crew member asking what was happening.  We were both confused, how could this person know?  The program of this boat means it slips silently in and out of Port, keeping a low, inconspicuous profile, never sounding the horn without good reason, never playing loud music or having big parties – but the outside world knew. Only the crew were aware of the situation, and all of them would respect their confidentiality agreement for sure.

Except the Italian Captain of course – the half wit had decided to post his exploits on Facebook even before his anaesthetic had worn off.  I am left wondering what the management people might make of this – my suspicion is they will react swiftly to his breach of contract.

It is kind of strange – the Captain previously declared that he is no ‘Schettino’ – personally I think he is, in fact I think all Italians are.  A little too crazy, a little too blasé with other people’s lives – fashion first, formalities a few days after.


Either way up, looks like an epic, wet, windy and cold sail to Faial – good job I packed my thermals



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