Look at it from my angle
So here we are, an emergency divert en-route to the Açores to off load a sick Captain to the authorities in Bermuda for some urgent medical attention.
Turns out, he has a gall stone around one inch across. That’s a big stone by anyones standard, even compared to a testicle, it’s not a bad size – in fact, the Captain continually talks about wanking and cock sucking so maybe it is a testicle previously swallowed and not ingested fully.
I have to confess though, initially I thought he was just being a drama queen – you know what these Italians are like. Every time we tried to sail, something broke and after two days I just assumed his illness was feigned so that he didn’t have to show his face at the helm again and the embarrassment of fucking shit up every watch.
Even the phone support never picked up on the possibility. It was only the experience of the designated person ashore (That’s DPA in ship speak) that suggested we turn and head for Bermuda. I make light of it, but the turn for Bermuda has now cost us 7 days. At the point of turn, we were 3 days away from Bermuda and 5 days away from the Açores but Bermuda was West, the Açores East and we wanted to be heading East – so it was 3 days in the opposite direction. Imagine that – a 7 day diversion ! Next time you hit the M25 and have a 5 mile diversion, think yourself lucky.
There was an Ambulance waiting on the dock that whisked him off to the hozzie. Later that night, the Mate started getting ‘whatsapp’ messages from an old crew member asking what was happening. We were both confused, how could this person know? The program of this boat means it slips silently in and out of Port, keeping a low, inconspicuous profile, never sounding the horn without good reason, never playing loud music or having big parties – but the outside world knew. Only the crew were aware of the situation, and all of them would respect their confidentiality agreement for sure.
Except the Italian Captain of course – the half wit had decided to post his exploits on Facebook even before his anaesthetic had worn off. I am left wondering what the management people might make of this – my suspicion is they will react swiftly to his breach of contract.
It is kind of strange – the Captain previously declared that he is no ‘Schettino’ – personally I think he is, in fact I think all Italians are. A little too crazy, a little too blasé with other people’s lives – fashion first, formalities a few days after.
Either way up, looks like an epic, wet, windy and cold sail to Faial – good job I packed my thermals