Monthly Archives: February 2007

wednesday – dubious!!!

ok, so my week progresses, i wondered what was in store for me today.
 this morning, the gas ran out and my shower went cold. no piped gas here just bottles. not a bad start to the day ?
I was also missing one of the dogs, not seen for 24 hours and nowhere inside the house and not hearing me call it.
while working in the rudder section of nariida today fixing the exhausts i was full of hapiness. i started singing a classic rolf harris song, ‘two litle boys’ when the captain popped his head in laughing like a mad man!    busted !
before leaving work tonight i had a quick check around paddys bike. i noticed that the rear tyre was beginning to split and de-laminate, not a good thing, so i didnt go so fast on the way home.
Shock horror when i arrived. the missing dog had returned but the puppy was missing from the annex. i walked to the main house and opened the door, there he was in the kitchen the cute little thing.
a quick look for puppy poo and no sign of it anywhere. i walked in and closed the door then i saw it. a semi firm puppy poo placed perfectly behind the door so that when i opened it, the mush spread all across the floor!
the little bastard is locked outside as i type!
stay tuned for tomorrows bundle of laughs

tuesday – just a little better

so i jumped on paddys motorbike this morning and hooned it off towards palma. as i approached the first roundabout i hit the brakes!!!!
oh shit !!!
the pads were on the metal and there was so much play in the headstock tthat i thought i would never stop. i should have known better! paddy and spanners just dont get on well.
tonight when i got home, i spied a pile of puppy poo. i must have missed this one from yesterday. i walked into the lounge and spotted another one. I walked around the whole room and found three more. this cute little puppy is one mean poo machine – the little devil can definately sleep in the anex unil paddy gets home
wednesday should be better

good reason to hate mondays

sometimes, shit just happens.
i am staying at a friends place in the country for a week while he is away to look after his dogs and fish. he has a new puppy and i was feeling a little mean making it sleep in one of the annexes all alone so  for the last 2 nights i let it sleep in the house.
imagine my glee when i walked out of the bedroom this morning and saw five pee stains on the mat ! i was in heaven, until, i realised that one of the stains was infact a pile of poo, that just about started my monday morning as best it could.
but better was to come. normally i walk to work but not his week, as i am out in the sticks i have to drive. I almost leaped for joy as my clutch cable snapped as i entered palma town early this morning.
to top that off, my whole day has been spent trying to get a new exhaust box into nariida, it has been a real piss off of a day. tomorrow i have to use paddys motorbike to get to work – i hope that doesnt hurt!!
I also knocked back a second job today, one that realy wasnt paying enough and was a little suspect on his honesty. i did offer him another way out and he seemed keen. waiting for a call back


gut feeling is – dont do it!!
and the jones is now feeling the same way. in all honesty, the deal just isnt good enough to warrant leaving here at the drop of a hat. imagine, all flights paid for, accommodation paid for, all food and beer paid for and 5 grand a month on top of that, legally tax free, and i am knocking it back!!!!!!!
curiosity gets the better of me.
but on friday, i am meeting again with the captain of another boat based here in mallorca. he needs an engineer, live on the boat, all food and consumables paid for by the boat, just need to negotiate on the salary, but i am reliably informed on a boat of that size, i should blag for at least 42k per year so who knows? more updates here at the weekend, so be sure to drop by again
authors footnote – no-one ever reads this shit so i would just like to add that i am now on the lookout for a new squeeze. old rules apply. 1. no tourists…….2. dont steal someone elses girl………and a new rule 3. latinas only – nothing else will do!

never trust a skinny chef!

so a few days off and all is well.
the bangkok job will materialise today, yay or nay, i will know by the end of the day. the experience would be great but i do have a couple of reservations that need to be agreed on. if we reach an agreement, on 10th march, i will be leaving palma for at least two months, all expenses paid and 5 grand a month for my troubles.
there is another job still in the pipeline here, a good secondary back up but it means i will need to stay here for the next 12 months. that will also pay around 36 grand for the year and living on the boat means no out of pocket expenses whatsoever!
so decisions are about to be made.
on a lighter note, as i have had time off, i decided to completely veg out and do not much but play xbox and eat at the american diner for a few days. just trying to relax before things go absolutely mental on nariida. the chef in the diner is a huge big fat chick. my point being, if she wasnt a good cook, she wouldnt be so fat! a bit like going to the huntsman in dunchurch for a meal. the food is absolutely awesome, and the chef, richard, is also supersized! my theory is proven. so next time you walk into a restaurant and see a skinny chef – LEAVE!!

been a long time

sometimes i like it that way!
have four days off work now, was originally planned to spend with the doctor but as she is no more , i thought i could use the rest!! so, no more work until wednesday when it will return to a full on 12 hour day, maybe even 7 days a week until they sail around 25th march.
also in the pipeline are a couple of interesting jobs. One is based here on a 100 ft sailing yacht but will mean staying here for at least a year. i have to negotiate with the captain next week if i want to take it on. the other, could see me heading for bankok for two months with mason, although we are still waiting to learn more about this. either way, by mid next week, i will have made a decision. so be sure to check back next week to see where i will be heading next.
remember my tramp friend? well , turns out he is from scotland and his name is brian. I havent got round to asking him how he managed to get stuck here but i pass each morning and call out to him and say hello. He never returned my flask though. i have asked a few times but i reckon he pawned it to buy some grogg.
this week, was masons birthday so tonight we have a little shin dig planned in Tavarua. No, not the small idilic surf island off the coast of fiji but the local pub that shares the same name.
it is an early start so i will be very careful as to how much i drink. i would hate to have to spend the whole of sunday recovering, especially when the weather is so good here. i really fancy a day at a secluded beach somewhere away from all of the tourists.
today for the first time since i got here in november, i had to put some diesel in my car, i guess i shouldnt complain, its the first tank of diesel i have bought in almost four months. i like to walk to work, its just perfect. helps me wake up in the mornings too.
My daunting task for this week is to drill a hole in the bottom of nariida for a new exhaust separator. ok, technically, drilling a 2” hole is no big deal, but this one is under the water line on a 110 ft yacht worth i would guess around 10 million bucks. so you see my concerns ? i am saving myself for this one!
i finally bought a TV to play xbox on. a very sweet 20” lcd screen for a bargain price of 300€ so now i can stay in all night long and play until i fall asleep.
i am trying to do all of my chores today, i havent really cleaned the apartment since i got here, so i am just back from the supermarket with a box of swiffers to to the dusting. have to hoove rup and tidy my cds away just incase cecile and jean-luc come back from the carribean unannounced!
so enough clap trap – i got work to do

gracias amigo !!

this morning, my feet hit the floor as soon as i woke up, i had something important to do.
i put the cooking pot on the stove and headed for my warm shower. i wondered if he would be there and how scared he might be as i approach him.
the soup was hot as i poured it into the flask, peeled two bananas off the bunch and plucked two oranges out of the fridge. The walk to the park takes maybe ten minutes. i had plenty of time to rehearse what i would say.
as i got to the crossing opposite the park, i could see him. i thought maybe he wouldnt be there after the rain but he was, sitting smoking a roll up.  Surprised, I actually said out loud, `he´s there`, the man next to me at the crossing looked at me a little wierd, but thinking about it now, where else would he be ??
I walked over to him and approached slowly, i could see fear and anticipation in his eyes, i wondered how i could calm him but then i guess he saw the fear in my eyes too. I knelt beside him and looking up told him that i have hot soup and fresh fruit for him, the flask was a present for him to keep. I showed him how to open and close the flask.
he looked at me with watery eyes and said – `Gracias amigo`, thank you friend!

so you think you got problems?

this morning , while walking to the boat yard i was mulling over a few of my personal problems. I was feeling a bit sorry for my self, life, so  i thought was pretty shitty.
i saw the tramp that sleeps on the park bench each night. I suddenly realised that actually i had it quite good. I had just climbed out of my warm bed, in my warm and dry apartment, had a hot shower, some breakfast and put on clean clothes. I see this tramp each morning, in the same place, however cold the night has been , he is there.
I decided that my life was actually quite good and also that i had so much soup in my fridge and fresh fruit in my kitchen that tomorrow morning, i would take him some hot soup and fresh fruit for breakfast.
Tonight on my way out to the pub, i stopped at the local chinese shop to buy a thermos flask for the soup. I looked through the shop and couldnt find one. I spoke to the chinese shop owner and explained that ( no hablo muy espanhol, procuro-se uma coisa, como um vase, para comidas y bebidas caliente) i dont speak a lot of spanish, i am looking for a cup or something similar to keep food and drink hot inside (that would be a direct translation) . she understood me perfectly and pointed me to a shiney stainless steel thermos for just 7.50€.
as i left the shop, i couldnt help but think how happy i was with myself for my small language achievement, this tramp didnt know it, but he had put a big smile on my face.
so tomorrow morning, he will have a hot thermos filled with carrot and pumkin soup, a banana and a couple of oranges for his trouble. I hope he will be there, it`s raining tonight and he might have slept somewhere else.
lessons in life are always so close to where you are – you dont even have to look too hard!

blue on blue

america , fuck yeah!
the more i read about these gun happy fuckers, the less i want to interact with them.  How stupid can you be? not one but two high ranking american air force officers and pilots yet you still manage to mistake a flourescent flag on the top of a friendly tank for an orange coloured rocket launcher !!!!!
orange coloured rocket launcher my ass – that was your `friendly`id tag dumb ass!
if you got time, listen to the audio, if you havent got time, make time. British soldiers died in this blue on blue.

good news or bad news?

well, you decide …..
yesterday, my bank statement finally arrived from first direct, this i thought was good news as i could finally take my broken camera back to the shop to get it fixed or replaced.
when i read the statement, the transaction date was 4/02/06, yesterday was 5/02/07 so my years warranty was over by one day – bad news!
I went to the shop anyway to try my luck. I asked the guy in the shop if he spoke english or portuguese? – no, just spanish. this was both good news and bad news. bad because it now meant i had to try my limited spanish on him and switch to portuguese when i didnt know the spanish words i wanted but also good news because i can speak two languages and he can only speak one!!
Then good news – he accepted my broken camera and filled in the receipt and gaurantee card there and then, stamped it and signed it. Bad news was, the camera now has to go to madrid on the mainland and will be away for between one and two months so more bad news is that there will be no ´palma poo shots´ for at least that time.
Good news was that i was back in porto pi shopping centre, many of my loyal readers will remember this place as a place that can be so full of hot latinas that on a few occasions i have had to leave purely out of intimidation at the amount of hotties that are there. Even better news was the super sweet chick working in the camera shop too.
More good news when i hit the escalator! not only another super hot chick, but this time with curly red hair, my absolute favourite. By this time, i was beginning to get a twinge in my pants – certainly bad news! i started quickly reciting my 13 times table. this is always gauranteed to curb the trouser snake before it gets to full mast, see the first three calculations are easy but when you get to 4 x 13 you really have to start thinking, and from then onwards, the maths is the only thing that gets harder – works every time.
so good news – i was back to walking on just two legs
then more good news – while shopping inside carrefour, another sweetie with red curly hair!!!!!! seemed like good news for ever , until
on the way back to the car, on the escalator with my trolley, the grandma infront of me stopped at the top of the escalator without moving, generally, not good nor bad, until you realise that the escalators here have some wierd system that locks the trolly solidy in position with magnets or something while it is on the moving platform – not good news
She stopped to bend over and talk to her grandchild but never thought to move out of the way of the escalator, so by now the front of my trolley was on an autopilot collision course for her rather rotund rump, not good news for her and not good news for me, a weeks worth of shopping was about to dissappear!
So, i wanted to shout – ´hey dumb ass, move your fat ass out of the way´but i neither had the time to say all of those words and nor did i know them in spanish, double bad news, so i settled for the international language of ´Oi Oi Oi´. Good news for me, she heard me and my shopping was saved.
more good news for me, by the time i got to the car, i had still been inside for less than one hour so my parking was free!!!
now – is it good news or bad news that my life can be so exciting? this was just a period of one hour yesterday! you decide

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