Tag Archives: xbox

13/12/2016

The Two Less’s

By hairygoose

I hope you didn’t read that as The Two Lezzies.  Less’s as in the opposite of more.

All the hipsters will tell you that ‘less is more’.  Well shall we find out?  Currently I am homeless and jobless – two pretty major less’s in anyones life – but both at the same time?  Bring it on.

It sounds a little harsher than it is in reality though.  I do still have a house, just all the way down in Portugal, and being honest, that is close to uninhabitable right now. Being jobless is more correct but only until the 16th December when I head to Thailand to start my new job out there – so all in all, The Two Less’s was something of a misleading headline.

But officially – a jobless and homeless bum I am !!

I have been fortunate enough to be loaned a huge american motor home (America – Fuck Yeah!) for my following days of need – not a bad gig either.  Got my Xbox set up and am ready to rock and roll.

I also got my hand over notes today for the new vessel.  Sometimes I think I am something of a rarity when it comes to giving someone hand over notes.  Usually mine spread out to a small novel, my last effort,  whopping 49 pages.  Today I got half a dozen pages.  My initial pass made me think they were not all that but one cursory read had me shuddering in my boots.  A hull breach due to electrolysis.

For the non tech minded of my readers, electrolysis is damage caused to a metal that is immersed in water due to an electrical current leak.  Where the hull carries a positive charge, the damage is more severe, as electricity is always trying to travel from positive to negative, where negative in this case is earth – or sea water.  It also doesn’t bode well that salt water happens to be a good conductor of water.  The damage occurs as the electricity exits the positive side of the circuit heading for the negative.  During this exit, it takes a little bit of the metal with it, creating pitting.  If left for long enough, enough of the metal is removed to create a hole.  Once the hole is formed, the process doesn’t stop but continues to expand the hole’s diameter.

Some metals are more easily pitted than others. Aluminium for instance, is not naturally resistive to electrolysis.  It just so happens that the new boat is Aluminium.  For the American readers (as it is an American built Trinity Yacht) I should say Aluminum.  So there is my first serious dilemma to overcome.

I was also missing some basic data about fuel consumption, ranges and speeds, oil burn etc but I am about to send a mail to remind him of that.  I am also going to ask if his technical files are up to date – at this point I expect him to shit himself.

 

Moving on – for those of you that know what I do for a living, this has lead to the need to update some basic training.  Last week, I braved the Isle of Wight for three days to refresh my knowledge of Fire Fighting, Sea Survival and Advanced Fire Fighting.  Being Officer material, I am required to study at advanced levels !!!  That, in reality is irrelevant.  What I really wanted to share was the fact that last week I had to go in the water in West Cowes on the Isle of Wight.  The instructors took great pleasure in telling us that the water was a delightful 6ºc – I didn’t mis-type that, six degrees!  My cock was like a drawing pin!

This week I am on the other side of The Solent in Warsash and spent the day on the end of a windy Pier, fooling around with life boats.  My final few days winding up until I head out to Thailand for the first time in my life.

YES – I am aware that Thailand has a reputation for seedy sex and even more so Ladyboys.  I plan to spend the first three months working solidly on board until I can take some leave in April so it wont be bothering me in the slightest but thank you for all of the warnings.  Maybe I will make a photo album of ‘he or she’ when I get some time and let you guess which is which?

So this morning I will finish off all of my notes I need to complete and then head to sunny Southampton and maybe a trip up the Spinnaker.  Been a few years since I went up there.  Not being the most comfortable with heights, I think I should push myself to the top and stand on the glass floor.

More soon I promise, from Thailand

 

 

 

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27/01/2015

Bold as Brass

By hairygoose

Stupid is as Stupid does……..I think that was Forest Gump?  Well, he must have been talking about the locals in Belgium as far as I can see.  I hit the forest this afternoon for my usual 27k romp, expecting to set a good time for all the slipping and sliding I was doing in the mud, when suddenly, as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared.  Well actually no he didn’t but there was one section of track, maybe a quarter of a mile long, a footpath worn in the forest floor that had been blocked by the local forest boys that had been out there chopping down trees.  In that quarter-mile section, they had chopped 6 trees down, each one of them laying perfectly across the track I was trying to cycle on.

I don’t get it.  How much of a twat do you have to be to do that 6 times and not notice the well-worn track that you are dropping these trees on ?  I like the forest but man is it claggy at the moment – all of my running and biking times are suffering.

 

I did give an old lady a right rum treat today.  For those of you that haven’t been here to the house in Belgium, one of the stair cases is visible from the road purely because of a ‘strategic’ window in one of the interior walls.  I have often bounded up and down the stair section in question, aware that people might see me in the nuddy but have never really been too bothered about it – it would need a very specific set of circumstances to get the timing right.  So brazen am I about it that I even do it at night, dark outside, light on inside – you know what I mean.

Well today I came happily trotting or maybe even cantering down that flight, completely in the nud, my bell end slapping half way down my shin and then onto my chin as I bounced happily from step to step.  I then noticed a pair of feet on the footpath outside.  With every step down I saw more of her, with every step down she saw more of me. She had definitely had a full frontal of my swinging wanger before she started to look away – better still, she had stared just long enough to see it without me catching her looking – as her head came into view, it was already moving downward, averting her vision but more importantly, avoiding eye contact.

I had to have a little chuckle to myself

That was at about 3pm this afternoon – since then, there has been a steady stream of old ladies walking past the house

 

More Halo action tonight with Mr. B – making the most of the empty house while the bird is away.  Do I rock or what? 20 years ago, me in an empty house of an evening would have resulted in 16 Russian Circus Lesbians spending the night eating chocolate from each others bodies while the strippers tried to see how many of them could get on my face at one time without actually suffocating me.

 

Rock On !!

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24/11/2013

I change the key form C to D you see to me its just a minor thing……

By hairygoose

Most probably the longest title I have ever used, and that statement reminds me of the great Eddie Vedder introducing his song ‘Elderly woman behind the counter in a small town’.  Not that I am comparing my greatness to Mr Vedder but I am curious as to why, in the last 3 days I have had 79 hits form Cyprus to my humble site.

Also had some from Canada and the States too.

So how is Italy? Something of a cluster fuck if I am honest.  The Italian mentality is to flatly deny anything is wrong, and when it is wrong, if you delay long enough – maybe, just maybe the problem will go away on its own.  Now, call me stupid but I have never had a problem go away on its own.  To make matters worse, the boat is italian built so has a shit load of problems.  On top of that, the guy I took over from really hasn’t done much at all, documented even less and I honestly think that he doesn’t intend to return either – he was very keen to leave me his gate pass when he left.

But lets not dwell on that – on Saturday I took Dion the first officer out for a cycle ride.  It was one of those rides where your legs are cramping on the way back and every little hill feels like a mountain.  46 miles and over 8000 feet of climbing later, we got back to the boat.  I say we, I mean I got back here first, had a shower and a coffee, got a little concerned that Dion wasn’t back and headed out to find him.  Thankfully, all was well.  Genoa to Portofino return in just over 4 hours and 17 minutes

So what next – now I have just 4 working weeks left until I break for christmas, Friday 20th December I will jump in my car and head back to Brussels, a short stop for xbox, belgian beer and a run in the woods before I hot foot it to Florida for some winter sunshine courtesy of Virgin Airlines and then head back to Belgium for a week more of xbox, beer and running.

What I am really holding out for – is the end of January when I get February and March off with pay………..and that saddens me.  There used to be a time where I lived and breathed responsibility of keeping a boat alive but now I feel that is slipping and I may be turning into an also ran.

 

 

I don’t want to be an also ran

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01/03/2013

Dem black girls, dey like my little ting ting

By hairygoose

Firmly stuck in the 90’s I am very pleased to say.  Hit the dizzying heights of 90.8 kgs today after what felt like at best, a mediocre week of concentrating on my food intake.  Of course, I managed all of my interval training and have completed the first month of it now.  I was happily amused to see those figures when I stared down towards my feet, held my huge penis over to one side, and then I could see the digits on display.

I would at this stage like to thank AC/DC (both Brian and Bon), The Prodigy, Sister bliss and one particular track by Annie Lennox that had me bounding like a gazelle up hill on the homeward stretch – the song ‘keep young and beautiful’ had such apt lyrics and a perfect upbeat rhythm to get me up that hill.   Music can make a run much more fun.  The Prodigy or Distillers when you really want your heart pounding on the inside of your rib cage trying to get out.  AC/DC if you want to run with a smile on your face because of the lyrics or an old old classic by Faithless – Reverence (kiss me neck) – that song just blew my mind on the way back from the catamaran club the other week.  I couldn’t get my ear buds far enough in my ears for that one.

As a non believer in all this app nonsense, I am converted.  The interval training has made me a stronger runner in the space of a month, I can feel the difference. The hills here are very hard work but it is all paying off.  I have also been playing squash again, and as yet, I am unbeaten.  In fact, I am yet to loose a single game, let alone a match.  This is, as most squash players will know, in part due to my skill level but also having a fitness level above any of my opponents.  I even played a game last night were two of my opponents came on the court together to play against me.  I was 4-1 up when the lights went out.

Fit as a butchers dog !

The big black momma that works on the security gate here is a funny old bird.  I always have a smile and a few words for her when I pass in the car.  She has also taken to lifting the barrier for me when I am cycling too.  The other day, she was busy chatting with one of her friends when I approached. In line with european law (yawn) I have a bell, I gave it a little ring and she jumped to open the gate for me.  Her friend was highly amused saying in her best Caribbean accent – ‘he got a little ting ting’.  It was like having the Lilt ladies in real life.  They got all giggly on me after that – I wonder why ?

Things are looking up on the generator front too – but I am reluctant to speak too soon.

Holidays are nearly upon me – jetting off to Europe next week. My wonderful woman has also arranged an xbox games night for me when I am back in Brussels – that’s not a bad deal! I might even ask her to drop me off in the middle of the forest with my running shoes, a map and a compass and see if I can beat her home.  I also finally get my hands on that Range Rover that I have owned for over a month now.

I have to work tomorrow (Saturday) but a small price to pay for having the rest of the month off – will also give me time to get tidy again and get everything up to full speed before my relief cover arrives on Sunday afternoon.  If I am lucky, I will get my last dive on Sunday.  I may get a chance in St Lucia but I am not holding my breath (no pun intended).

If you are one of the chosen few who are joining me for a beer on the 16th – I will see you there.  If you are missing out, shame on you.

A few hello’s – Max, where are you ? Musher down there in Bristol (said that with a west country accent), Connor – for constantly amusing me with emails, sometimes even arousing me with them. Stevie B – you can have the Rangie when I get eaten by a shark.  I have been wondering lately what happened to Karen Thornham down under in Oz , Lexa in South Africa, Verity McCoy and of course the bird patiently waiting in Brussels

And a special mention to the Cooper sisters and Monica ca ca ca ca

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