Tag Archives: world cup

Guns don’t kill people – Rappers do

Am I the first person ever to fall asleep while inserted into an MRI scanner?  The noise and vibrations were so harmonic, I actually nodded off for a while.

She said it was a 40 minute session but I don’t believe her, I think she short changed me.  For the first time in 21 years, I had to pull my ring out – not what you are thinking…..!

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Surprisingly, that ring section is hollow.  I thought it was a solid pin but hollow ends can’t be all that hygienic.  I did also ask the nurse why you can’t put metal inside the scanner. She laughed and said it would stick to the sides and never come out.  You would be pretty screwed if you had artificial joints now wouldn’t you.

Anyway, lets talk a little more about Qatar.  Interesting place, lots of Indians, Kenyans and Philippinos in the workforce.  it’s all very very polite and friendly too.  Clean as you like apart from the desert sand.  If shopping is your thing ladies – there is Mall after Mall after Mall.  Very westernised – there are many times when it feels and looks just like Florida.  Petrol is cheap, around a quarter of the price in Europe.

Lots of work happening in preparation for the World Cup, a new underground system is under construction as we speak with tunnelling just finishing last month, major road improvements too – but still the place is two thirds empty.  I also got my temporary driving licence

 

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You might think that my name is Wayne Thunder from that – but it’s not!  I was also not born in 1922.  That said, they did give me a 4.0 ltr Toyota to spunk around in, and a 75 ltr per week fuel allowance – not too shabby I guess.

 

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So I guess all that’s left for me to do now is sign off with something smart and witty – problem is, I am feeling neither of those this evening.  For us, the weekend is here.  Friday and Saturday are the weekend, Sunday a normal working day.  So Thursday evening and guess which fool is on watch?  Still, all being well, at 8am tomorrow morning I could be stood down for the weekend.

 

Let me leave you with a little something from back in the day from Goldie Lookin Chain

 

 

 

 

 


Glastonbury, Wimbledon, World Cup Disappointment & The Magnificent 7

The summer is in full flow and festivals are upon us.  I watched Blondie play Glasters on Friday night, then last night Metallica and later today I will catch up with Dolly Parton.  Where else in the world could you find such a miss mash of artists all under one barn roof ?  My only moan can be that I have never been able to get tickets – to the point that I don’t even bother to try any more – but still, one has to love the die-hard attitude.

The World Cup continues to excite.  Sure, England are long gone but that was expected.  The next grudge match is on Tuesday when USA play Belgium.  We will no doubt wander down to the local square which will be heaving  with youths and pensioners alike – we will sit in with the pensioners.  Tricky spot for the missus (she is old enough to join the pensioners) but being American in Belgium on that night might prove tricky.  Actually my money is on Belgium BUT I don’t doubt the USA could actually pull it off if they play with a bit more self believe – it’s a win win either way for me, I would like both of them to go through but that isn’t possible.

Tennis – what a waste of good TV time.  I would ban it completely if I was in power.  For years now, the Brits have been clinging to any player with any link to the island – remember a guy called Greg Rusedski? Hailed as british, living in Canada blah blah blah.  Now we have to deal with that scott Andy Murray. He is Scottish so the English should stop trying to claim him as their own.  I suspect that if we put as much effort into raising home-grown talent as we put into tracing some weak link to someone elses sports stars – we might actually gain some ground for ourselves.  Worst still, the BBC awards these foreigners with Sports personality awards while overlooking our home-grown talent.

Moan over – now the good stuff.

 

By now, all of you except Lexa should have your hands on your T-shirts. To kick-start the last phase of this competition, I have started a new photo album called ‘magnificent 7’ and added no less than 10 shots of me in my shirt.  Let this be a clear inspiration to you all to get clicking – no excuses.  Closing date for all entries is 01:00 on 15th July – Connor, don’t be late this time bud !


Beardy Twats

Happily cycling along the coast road the other week between Monaco and Italy when I got overtaken by a group of 4 riders on road bikes.  Before you start munching off saying how I have been overtaken, remember, those road bikes are significantly more efficient than a dual suspension mountain bike on knobbly tyres and active suspension.  Never the less, I managed to pass these ‘cyclists’ on 3 occasions.  Sure, they might have been a little faster than me, but they kept stopping for a chat so I would pass them again.  No stamina these youngsters – but they did have fooking great big beards and were fully clad in road race lycra.  I doubt any of them were over 25 years old and they had beards thicker than the hair on my head – the beardy, lycra clad twats !

I did quit my job the other week so I have been off for a week now.  Heading to the States on Monday 5th May, and from there, sailing down to Rio de Janeiro for the world cup.  Once I get there, I swap out with the other engineer and get another month off.  The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice I said ‘sailing down to Rio’ – I am hugely pleased to announce that I am getting back on a sailing boat and plan never to return to a motor boat ever in my life again.  In fact, if you see me taking a job on a motor boat in the future, feel free to bend me over and give me a jolly good and rigorous fisting.

Today something really weird happened.  I was out yogging (that’s how posh people say Jogging!) in the forest.  The forest has really come to life since the last time I was here at the end of March.  The trees are full of leaves, the shrubbery is covering the forest floor again, it’s a real ‘thicket’ of activity.  I entered the forest, yogging at my normal pace, noticing the greenery on the trees and the pine and twigs on the ground. I had my music on but not too loud so I could still hear the background noises, the birds tweeting, twigs snapping under foot, rapists breathing heavily from the bushes, when a song came on.  Have you ever seen the film ‘Apocalypse Now?’.  I had just entered the forest when the Doors started singing ‘The End’.  It was a surreal moment that put me on full gook alert, checking trees for snipers, under bushes for tunnels, behind fallen trees for rows of punji sticks that might catch me out and leave me to bleed to death.  Not to worry, I had a full clip and only two clicks to yomp.

Staying with music for a moment, I had my phone playing music randomly the other day.  Well, I thought it was random, but it soon became apparent that it was scrolling through alphabetically by artist.  I can now officially confirm that I have 7 slightly different versions of Sonique’s ‘It feels so good’ in my iTunes library.  Not a bad running track as a single play item – after the 7th, I was ready to hang myself from a tree.

The Rangie has just cost me 500€ to have an oil leak fixed.  Here’s the thing, the seal itself was just 7€ but by the time the gearbox oil was drained, filters and gaskets replaced, it was a tad more expensive.  I never have liked parting with cash, especially when it is something I have the ability to fix for myself, albeit lacking the equipment to do so – but when I got seated and fired her up, I knew with was a love affair that won’t be ended easily – and certainly not over a 500€ garage bill.  In stark comparison, I just went to the local store for some milk and 2 bottles of Chimay Blue.  3ltrs of milk and 2 Chimays, a tad over 7€ – now that is something I can live with.  Beer, the same price as milk – no wait, let me re-phrase, top quality beer the same price as milk!

My new job awaits, a 46m sloop called ‘Pink Gin’.  I am looking forward to getting on board and getting stuck in.  We did a deal that gives me a minimum of 8 months work a year, the rest of the time is all mine.

And that’s about all I wish to share with you right now – I did negotiate christmas off this year so expect me to be around – annoying the crap out of you all.

 

Charlie Doesn’t Surf !!!!!

 

 

 


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