Tag Archives: Rio de Janeiro

16/07/2014

It’s all over bar the flying!

By hairygoose

They think it’s all over – it is now!

That was it, my last 10k run in the forest for the summer – next time I get in there, it will be mud brown instead of summer green, maybe even a blanket of snow on the ground – who knows?  Tomorrow I fly back to Rio de Janeiro and then start the month-long up hill sail to Florida. I am of course immensely proud of myself for needing a dump on the way round.  Maybe I could have held it for that last 3k, maybe not but when I return there will be no camouflage for me to squat out of sight so I thought I better make the most of it while it was still there.

I just had a quick week in the UK as my last bit of freedom before the prison cell that is a sailing yacht – a sweet blast around Cannock Chase yesterday with Rue and Steve-o (or as we will call him from this point on ‘Snail Steve’), caught up with as many people as I could before hitting the ferry back yesterday evening.

I have also taken the opportunity to stock up on Tripel Hop.  When I return, it will have been long gone from the supermarket shelves, I am guessing by mid October, this years brew will be no more and it will be March before the new batch is ready.  There are currently 3 crates nestling in the utility room along with a 4 pack of blonde bush.  While we are on the topic of Belgian Beer – what do you get if you mix several Belgian beers with a Steve-o?

Interview with a Vampire – this minute long video is available for a limited period of time in the video section (exactly where you might expect to find it).  Sadly cut short by lack of memory in my iPhone – I wont make that mistake again.  I have just found myself thinking……..when I die, how much Belgian beer will I have drunk?  Not enough I suspect.

The T-shirt competition is coming along – although by now, it should have been closed and moved on to stage two. I am officially giving a time extension to the following people:-

Neal Westwood, Mush George, Verity McCoy, Lexa Timothy, Amy Horne

It’s not too late to get your entry in.

Getting back to Blighty, I also paid a visit to the Battle of Britain memorial just up the road from Dover.  I was a bit of an eye opener to see a sign requesting people NOT to climb on the Memorial Wall – who would do that FFS?  I took some photos and noticed something – you might think it obvious but it took a moment to dawn on me.  At the end of the wall, there is half a column of free space, there are also some names out of alphabetical order. I realised these were a couple of Churchill’s Few who had died most recently, I am assuming that the remainder of the spare column is reserved for those that are still alive.  I have created a small photo album for ‘Churchill’s Few’ – stop by and have a look.  Check your history books too – so early on in that conflict, the Battle of Britain took place – the Nazi machine stopped in its tracks at the shores of Britain by a bunch of youngsters!

We also have a new subscriber to swell the ranks – everyone please welcome Shazza Evans to the party – I make that 32 now.

 

 

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Goose Freckles

07/06/2014

FIGJAM’s across the Equator

By hairygoose

Figjam Bob – Now I haven’t seen him for a while but coincidence is ironic, especially on an epic sea adventure.

I last saw Figjam Bob in the ‘Roachie Café’, in Palma de Mallorca, maybe 4 years ago now. I say ‘saw’ but as will all good figjams, we mean ‘heard. If you can imagine a busy, male dominated spanish Café full of dock workers at the 10am morning break – the noise is horrendous, metal legged chairs scraping across hard tile floors, a dozen dockers all shouting at each other but still sounding just like Speedy Gonzales. Suddenly, as if by magic, the shop keeper appears and it’s Figjam Bob.

At first, I hear him, that unmistakable voice raising above the rest of the café. He’s on the other side of the room too, propping up the bar with his next, so far unsuspecting victim, Figjam is in full flow, wanking on about how good he is, loud enough for all to hear.

FIGJAM – Fuck I’m Good – Just Ask Me !!!

On a lighter note, we crossed the equator yesterday. For those of you that have never done it (and I think that will be a lot of you) I have now officially been closer to the sun than you !!! Naturally, it was as disappointing as a bowl of bran without any fruit in it. There wasn’t a painted line on the ocean surface, no signage suggesting 1mile to the equator and to top it all off, no fireworks as we crossed. On the other side of the equator, there was much more of the same – blue sea water. I quickly made an experiment, the plug hole experiment. For years, I had been lead to believe that in the southern hemisphere, the water drains anti clockwise into your plug hole. I had even recently seen a TV programme on it.

Lexa had warned me however – that this was nothing more than an old wives tale – she was spot on and she isn’t even an old wife! So all in all, my quest to sail in the southern hemisphere has been a flat out disappointment.

I do however, have several T shirts waiting for dispatch to the Magnificent 7 when I finally get home. Verity Smith – I am still waiting for your address.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Goose Freckles

11/05/2014

Mokele Mbembe

By hairygoose

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear November Archives, Happy Birthday to me

Whoop whoop whoop, yahoo, yay yay yay – whatever  (as I am currently in the states, all the whoops, yays and yahoos are mandatory), fist bump, high 5 – fuck yeah!!!  Goddamn .

It’s official – on May 8th (say that out-loud in your best Geordie accent!) The November Archives turned 9 years old and is now officially in its tenth year of publication, something of a milestone I think.  Put that into a different perspective, my little blog has been around longer than the iPhone and will no doubt still be going strong when the iPhone has gone the same way as that old dinosaur The blackberry.  If you need help in perfecting the ‘May the 8th’ in Geordie, may I offer three little words as practise – if you can master these three words, it is fair to say you are fluent in geordie – repeat out loud, or better still, to someone else in your house or work place, or just stand out on the street and bellow them at passers by

Kawasaki

Photocopier

Conjunctivitis

You are now fluent my friend – go forth and converse but be careful not to get ‘yer teeth kicked in man!’

 

Lots has changed since I first sat in the Bubble Lounge down in Sagres and penned my first blog entry.  The bubble lounge is no more, replaced suitably by Warung.  The iPhone was born and has also suffered 6 reincarnations since its birth.  The whole world has become a place where people right now and for generations to come, are developing spinal damage as they constantly stare at their smart phone screens.  People no longer go to concerts and watch the gig for themselves but seem to prefer to concentrate on holding the smart phone above their heads recording the whole thing, for what I can only assume is bragging rights – the right to say that you were there and prove it.  This alone makes me gasp in disbelief.  There was a saying I heard years ago about ‘Woodstock’ that went something like this ‘ If you can remember being there – then you weren’t really there!’  Whats more, can you imagine the pain of watching a music concert in its entirety on a phone ?  These observations were made only recently in my life as I watched many of the iTunes music festivals that are broadcast live on the WWW. A sea of fans illuminated by their screens.  Of course, there are concerts where hanging onto your phone would have been impossible too – The Offspring and Skunk Anansie are two that I remember partially.

Sound Garden, The Pixies, Katy Perry, Jessie J, Coldplay, NOCEREMONY/// have all been on iTunes for free.  Of course, I wanted to be there for myself but never won the tickets – Yes, I did apply for free tickets for a Katy Perry concert, but equally too, I tried for the Pixies.

Most recently of course, I finally decided to spend a chunk of money on a quality car rather than the 300 quid junkers that I normally favour. This has caused some concerns when choosing a suitable parking place as I try my best to keep the body panels straight and dent free.  I like the comfort but the worry keeps me awake at night.

Bringing you swiftly up to date, I am currently in Florida and next weekend will be setting sail for Rio de Janeiro in Brazil – a good two weeks of hard sailing lay ahead but man am I glad to be back on a sailing boat with their coffin sized beds and work spaces made for midgets – a great new adventure lays ahead and lets not forget, this will be my first time sailing across the equator.  Once I have crossed it, I will be able to watch the water go down the plug hole anti clockwise instead of clockwise.

I just bumped into a guy today that reminded me of Alex Faggotpants down in Kernow.  Some of you will remember Alex as my lodger from Benn Street but for those of you that don’t, look for an old programme on the tv called ‘The Brittas Empire’ and there, disguised as Chris Barry you will see Alex Faggotpants.  Faggot as he is more affectionately known by his closest Rugby chums, was a spitter for Gordon Brittas in looks and mannerisms so imagine my surprise today when I found another doppelgänger here in Fort Lauderdale.

At this point, some words of encouragement please – the missus is running a 20k next weekend, a quick hurrah for her, my sister is also clocking up the miles and Steve Brown has agreed to come and run the next Park Run (www.parkrun.com) so it will be a real gang bang for the next time I am in blighty, there will be me, Steve, Rue, Claire, Sis (still working on that one) and maybe even the missus if she doesn’t quit running the second she crosses the finish line.

For the more loyal readers amongst you, you may remember some years ago I ran a competition for the 20,000th reader to win a new 3 series BMW.  You may also remember an old flame of mine winning the competition but then being disqualified for making me change her name on the blog.  Well, Gary Lineke as I called her post op, won’t be running in this competition and I promise no more name changes ever but in an effort to break the 40,000 hits barrier before my 10th anniversary next year, I am offering 10 absolutely free T-shirts for the first 10 SUBSCRIBED users to leave a comment on THIS post suggesting why they deserve a T-shirt.  There is no catch other than you can only win 1 shirt per subscribed user – I say this because I fully expect Connor to leave 10 comments before anyone else even reads this, you can’t beg one for your significant other, they should subscribe too,  and yes, I fully expect Connor to get a shirt and the other 9 to remain in my wardrobe for the next 10 years.  They will be sent P&P free so even if you are all the way down there in S.A. over in Oz, NZ or the Nordics – you will get one.

 

All up to you – usual rules apply – I make them up as I go along.  Winners are required to send a selfie for posting on The November Archives of them wearing their shirts.

 

 

 

 

 

13 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Goose Freckles

25/04/2014

Beardy Twats

By hairygoose

Happily cycling along the coast road the other week between Monaco and Italy when I got overtaken by a group of 4 riders on road bikes.  Before you start munching off saying how I have been overtaken, remember, those road bikes are significantly more efficient than a dual suspension mountain bike on knobbly tyres and active suspension.  Never the less, I managed to pass these ‘cyclists’ on 3 occasions.  Sure, they might have been a little faster than me, but they kept stopping for a chat so I would pass them again.  No stamina these youngsters – but they did have fooking great big beards and were fully clad in road race lycra.  I doubt any of them were over 25 years old and they had beards thicker than the hair on my head – the beardy, lycra clad twats !

I did quit my job the other week so I have been off for a week now.  Heading to the States on Monday 5th May, and from there, sailing down to Rio de Janeiro for the world cup.  Once I get there, I swap out with the other engineer and get another month off.  The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice I said ‘sailing down to Rio’ – I am hugely pleased to announce that I am getting back on a sailing boat and plan never to return to a motor boat ever in my life again.  In fact, if you see me taking a job on a motor boat in the future, feel free to bend me over and give me a jolly good and rigorous fisting.

Today something really weird happened.  I was out yogging (that’s how posh people say Jogging!) in the forest.  The forest has really come to life since the last time I was here at the end of March.  The trees are full of leaves, the shrubbery is covering the forest floor again, it’s a real ‘thicket’ of activity.  I entered the forest, yogging at my normal pace, noticing the greenery on the trees and the pine and twigs on the ground. I had my music on but not too loud so I could still hear the background noises, the birds tweeting, twigs snapping under foot, rapists breathing heavily from the bushes, when a song came on.  Have you ever seen the film ‘Apocalypse Now?’.  I had just entered the forest when the Doors started singing ‘The End’.  It was a surreal moment that put me on full gook alert, checking trees for snipers, under bushes for tunnels, behind fallen trees for rows of punji sticks that might catch me out and leave me to bleed to death.  Not to worry, I had a full clip and only two clicks to yomp.

Staying with music for a moment, I had my phone playing music randomly the other day.  Well, I thought it was random, but it soon became apparent that it was scrolling through alphabetically by artist.  I can now officially confirm that I have 7 slightly different versions of Sonique’s ‘It feels so good’ in my iTunes library.  Not a bad running track as a single play item – after the 7th, I was ready to hang myself from a tree.

The Rangie has just cost me 500€ to have an oil leak fixed.  Here’s the thing, the seal itself was just 7€ but by the time the gearbox oil was drained, filters and gaskets replaced, it was a tad more expensive.  I never have liked parting with cash, especially when it is something I have the ability to fix for myself, albeit lacking the equipment to do so – but when I got seated and fired her up, I knew with was a love affair that won’t be ended easily – and certainly not over a 500€ garage bill.  In stark comparison, I just went to the local store for some milk and 2 bottles of Chimay Blue.  3ltrs of milk and 2 Chimays, a tad over 7€ – now that is something I can live with.  Beer, the same price as milk – no wait, let me re-phrase, top quality beer the same price as milk!

My new job awaits, a 46m sloop called ‘Pink Gin’.  I am looking forward to getting on board and getting stuck in.  We did a deal that gives me a minimum of 8 months work a year, the rest of the time is all mine.

And that’s about all I wish to share with you right now – I did negotiate christmas off this year so expect me to be around – annoying the crap out of you all.

 

Charlie Doesn’t Surf !!!!!

 

 

 

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Goose Freckles

%d bloggers like this: