It was gone – 5 weeks of holiday disappeared in the blink of an eye.  In my terms, an unproductive month to say the least – or was it ….?

I was a little miffed that I didn’t get to see my old mucker and avid reader Conor over in Northampton, but I did get to catch up with some other good old buggers so it wasn’t a complete write off. I really wanted to have a rip in his bug but will have to be next time now.

I am in the luxury of an Ibis Budget hotel at Birmingham airport with a pint of John Smith’s Smooth, reminiscing over the last month or so.  I must confess that I thought maybe I had gone the whole month without writing a page here but then I saw the last post which was most definitely this month with the knee photos and the killer Courtney Love vid.

Glad to say that the knee is making a great recovery now and better still, the doc and the physio think I could be running again in 3 months – that would be absofuckinglutely fabulous – I miss running.  My waistline does too  – without those extra calorie burns, I am a good 7kgs too heavy – that’s a stone and a little bit to you old timers!

Now, I did have the absolute pleasure of meeting a very tasty young lady while I was off.  See, when you get to my age, it’s all MILF’s and GILF’s – I am very VERY pleased to say I have encountered my very first GILF and thoroughly enjoying it!  I am also hoping it will be my only GILF encounter if you fully understand what I mean.  Can’t tell you too much right now but as things unravel, I will share more.  Needless to say she is smoking hot and has my fullest attention.

Moving on from nurses, let’s talk about eBay for a moment.  You may remember me putting my beloved Range Rover up for sale.  Inevitably I got the usual spaztards with the ’10 grand cash by the weekend’ bollocks – I don’t play well with spaztards if I am honest – so imagine this – some complete wanker messages me simply saying ‘£8000?’  That was it – his whole complete message.

Naturally I had an epiphany and responded exactly as such an insult deserved.  Screen dump below – read it from the bottom up – he even had the audacity to call me a gentleman afterwards – the prick !

I think you might call that ‘not suffering fools gladly’ ??

So tomorrow morning I start the long hard slog back to Thailand.  I still have no idea where I will meet the boat but will rest easy in the first class section of both legs of the flight – actually, come to think of it, I still need to find a hotel for Tuesday night.

A couple of days in Thailand and then we head to Singapore.  It’s all new to me but there is one thing I am extremely mindful of.  There is a section of the trip that runs through the Straights of Malacca – now apparently this is rife with piracy so please keep an eye on the news to see if we make it safely through.  If you hear about some mad English fool that used a home made flame thrower to fight off a pirate attack – that will most definitely be me!  If I don’t make it out alive – don’t send flowers but do drink a Belgian beer or two!

After surviving Singapore for a couple of months, we sail for Bali – Are you at all jealous yet ?

Special thanks to those who came out to the Merchants Inn on Friday night – it was good to see each and every one of you.  Thanks for the beer and the hang over that followed.