Author Archives: hairygoose

22/02/2013

Prison Justice

By hairygoose

Where have I been I hear you ask. Still here in Antigua but suffering the heart breaking pain of butting heads with the relief captain who also happens to be the boat manager.  It has left me feeling something of a recluse in fact. Depressing is the best way of describing it.  It seems at every corner, we manage to butt heads which is in direct contrast to the normal captain who is generally a pleasure to work with.

Today I had to clarify if it was the best financial option to pay for everything with my boat credit card when most vendors add the handling fee on top.  Surely with big invoices we are better to pay with a bank credit and save the fees? apparently I was wrong.  I have just paid an $8200 invoice with my card which was then marked up to over $8500 (around $360 of mark up) because apparently it is a little easier than balancing the accounts with a transfer.

Then I got a little nod.  The relief captain also manages the boat.  This includes fund management, which also covers the set up of the credit card. I checked the credit card deals out – they pay a hefty rewards scheme for travel and hotels with card use. So it is perfectly feasible that there is a deliberate action to use the card to boost personal points – even by loading credit cards. To me – this is wrong.  If you were to naturally accrue points would be one thing but to do your best to maximise them and add additional expense to the owner of the vessel is just not on.

Anyway – enough of that bollocks, I am on final countdown to holidays even though they will be taken up with studies for exams that I know I cannot pass.  Wednesday 6th March I will be Europe bound and heading for England and not returning to this side of the Atlantic until the end of March.

My run for fat loss is giving me improved strength and power even if it is not actually helping me burn fat.  Interval training works – and I was a non believer!  I do like to pop on a bit of the old AC/DC too, good tempo and often brings a smile to my face when I listen to those old rockers.

That’s enough for now – just really wanted to let you know I am still alive and kicking.  Off for a scuba all weekend again.

See you soon

Oh – I almost forgot, Prison Justice.  I read this story the other day on the BBC.  Can’t help but think the world might be a better place if more of this stuff went on.

Prison Justice

 

 

 

 

 

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08/02/2013

AC/DC vs Adele

By hairygoose

Some combinations are made for each other, like Cheddar Cheese and Branston Pickle or Apple Crumble and Custard or even Strawberries and Cream but AC/DC followed by Adele should never be heard on anyones playlist while out running, it is just wrong.

The AC/DC songs kind of make me chuckle, especially the ‘Problem Child’ track and I find the tempo good for plodding the trails and pathways but then Adele warbling on about chasing pavements just spoils the pace. Even trickier with sweat covered ear buds that keep popping out with every heavy pound.

It´s been a good week on board.  Shore power faults found, Straub clamps arrived for the main engine salt water intake and fingers crossed, my bad boy generator has now been on line for 8 hours.  I was reluctant to add that last bit as every time I write a note about it, it fails again.  My mark to beat is 10 hours, so by 20:30 this evening I can begin to get a little excited.  Better still, if it is still going in the morning, I may just leave it on all weekend to really prove it. Spares are en route from Rhode Island for the Nº 1 generator and pretty soon I could have this boat up to standard me thinks – then to really piss me off, we have to let the spanish take it apart again to work on it and that will mean another 6 months of putting things right.

My scales also told a very pretty story tonight – 92.5kg, that is my best yet.  Maybe this run for fat loss nonsense is actually working.

Weekend is here again which means scuba diving or surfing.  In fact tomorrow will start with a scuba at the slightly later time of 10:30, a couple of easy dives with some newbies and then a run in the evening.  If there are signs of swell, I will try to talk the deck boys into blasting around to Rendezvous beach to check out the surf.

I am of course officially now on count down – my flight leaves Antigua on 6th March and I don’t return until the 30th March.  Well honestly, I won’t return until December really as I have to meet the boat again in St Lucia.  If I am very lucky, I might get to dive there too – I am told that it is superb.

 

That’ll do for now.

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03/02/2013

R4FL

By hairygoose

First day of the fat loss programme, just wanting to shift that last 4 (ahem) kilos and hit the magic 90Kgs. I am by no way a technophobe but I hate it when there are tick boxes or selections for options but what those options do or how they affect your programme is never explained.  Everyone does it, Apple, Windows, any other software manufacturer you can mention – tick this option but I am not going to tell you what it does, most of the time it is hard to see the difference between the options until all of your data is gone or changed.

So I started my 30 minute programme which was pre-loaded into my runkeeper.  5 minutes warm up and then 30 minutes at 70% max heart rate but did the app tell me when the warm up ended ?  Of course not – so now I have to fiddle with the damn audio cue options to try and figure it out. No doubt I will be half a dozen or more runs in before I get it settled down all because no-one thinks to explain how it works before you start using it.

Double dive this morning and a trip to the beach this arvo to check the surf.  Yesterdays surf was a little better but nothing compared to the surf I had while the bird was here (who is also currently riding camels in Dubai).  Found a dead nursing shark today too, upside down in a cave.  Gave it a tug on its tail but it was definitely brown bread.

Yesterday I also fixed the Go Pro to the front of the BIC.  I switched it on and left it filming for what was probably an hour of trying for the elusive one. Wasn’t until I was paddling back to the beack that I realised it was in fact on stand by rather than record.  Probably for the best as the surf really wasn’t all that.  I was also wearing a real ‘Jams’ from Honolulu – but don’t worry, I have more.

Another week at work beckons but I will soon be in Europe once more.  My flight leaves Antigua on March 6th and I won’t return until 30th when I head for St Lucia.  Once there, final preparations for the sail across the Atlantic to Mallorca.

Life is exciting isn’t it?

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26/01/2013

Dog days are over !

By hairygoose

Day 2 of the Antigua Superyacht Challenge  and the carnage continues.  Today we have managed to damage two sails.  One being the big spinnaker on the front, a huge huge sail, tore in half on race 1 this morning, then on race 2, the mizzen stay sail got tangled on the drop and we managed to put one of the VHF aerials through it.  To make matters worse, as we were trying to recover the sail, the skipper started a turn too early and we caught it again on the main rig – so up went Zayn with his knife to cut it free. So one torn in half, the other holed in two different places, and of course, it’s bloody hot here.

At a party the other night, I realised something obvious that I wish I knew years ago. Chicks like dancing, everyone knows that, and chicks like to dance with their men, and there lies the problem.  Men don’t like to dance unless of course,  they are good at it and very few are, especially the straight ones.  It dawned on me while watching the oldies having a good time on the dance floor that when men get to a certain age, they forget their inhibitions about their dancing skills and just have a go anyway, and they have a good time – better still, the chicks don’t give a toss what their men dance like anyway and have an even better time still.

Far from it for me not to have a good time so I slipped into what I lovingly refer to as ‘fuckabout mode’ and rocked the night away coaxing as many of the crew and guests to join me, I even tried the Dirty Dancing lift at one point but couldn’t lift her above my head – and she was far from big too.

I do sorely miss the live music culture that was England, and more specifically Cornwall.  Live bands in venues like Blue Bar -Porthtowan, The Driftwood in St Agnes or even Tricky Dickies so it was good to have a live band here in Nelsons Dockyard.  They weren’t too bad either.  As a final song, I heard the intro chords and thought ‘Florence’ – and I wasn’t wrong.  There is something strangely charming about windmilling or aero-planing your way around the dance floor with a dozen other crazy English fools.

To finish on a pleasant note – I treated myself to a rather spiffing Range Rover Sport last week.  Not that I was after a Sport but when I saw the photos, I loved it.  Steve-o checked it out for me and the transfer was made.  It is now sitting on the drive in England waiting for my return in March where it will stay for a couple of weeks before being whisked off to Belgium for a month and then road tripped to Mallorca for the rest of the year.

Expect more carnage tomorrow – the last day of racing

Antigua Superyacht Challenge

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20/01/2013

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

By hairygoose

A Johnny Depp masterpiece if I ever did see one.  This has to be one of the most twisted, confusing, mental mind banging film I have ever watched.

This morning at 6am, when I got to the rowing machine at the gym , I sat down and looked at the TV – Fear and Loathing was on.  Better still, they had sub titles. What language do you think they sub’d it with?

Rasta of course – for a film that is already a serious mind bender, you should try reading Rasta subtitles and maintain 28 strokes per minute.

I managed to sort my playlist too for my strength training route.  Of course at first, I ended up with nearly two hours of The Prodigy and Underworld but then I started to trim it down until I ended up with

1. Beat your heart out – The distillers (first 3 minutes of easing into it)

2. Breathe – The prodigy (for the two mother of all uphill climbs)

3. Born Slippy – Underworld (for the longest section which is also downhill)

4. Pretender – Foo Fighters (should get this just as I hit my last hill)

5. Sabotage – Beastie Boys (the last 3 minutes of sprint back to the boat)

That is 23 minutes and 7 seconds if you count the track overlap.  If the music finishes before I get back to the boat, I have lost.

Come back soon for a report on my success

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19/01/2013

Gérard Depardieu loves Brigitte Bardot

By hairygoose

Where was I watching TV the other day and saw big Gérard accepting his new Russian passport?  I don’t really remember where but I do remember watching him struggle to get into one of those traditional Russian gowns that had been made for him. Time hasn’t been good to him now has it?  I also saw Brigitte Bardot threatening to leave France – not for Tax reasons but to highlight the plight of two elephants with TB. Now it`s fair to say if time hasn’t been kind to Gérard, it has certainly beaten Bardot with the ugly stick.

My push for 90 kilos starts in earnest on 3rd Feb.  I signed on to a fat burning programme for two months via Runkeeper. I will be boring you with my progress as I aim for my ultimate target.  Luckily for me, I have February here in Antigua and March between England and Belgium so I will be having fun.  Running or doing anything here in the heat of the Caribbean is a challenge, the cooler climes of Europe will be a welcome change. I am looking forward to running in the forest in Belgium, hopefully in the rain too.

I need some help.  I have a little running route here in Antigua that I use for strength training.  With the skipper and his missus the other week we managed a time of 22’30” but the closest I can get to that on my own is 45” slower. My theory is to use some raging beats to help me improve.  Naturally I am swinging toward the Prodigy but there must be others out there too, I need 24 minutes of uplifting tunes but not so uplifting that I blow my heart apart. Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

The final preparations are beginning for the Super Yacht Racing here in Antigua this week.  The boss arrives tomorrow and the race crew are slowly emerging over the next few days.  I have seen the Jams World shirts that arrived in the post this week – the loudest Hawaiian shirts money can buy – and proper Jams too  – I will be proudly sporting mine when the time is right.

Tomorrow morning I will be sneaking into the hotel gym again to get a 45 minute session on their rowing machine.  I didn’t get busted last time so fingers crossed I can get away with it again.

There is a yank on the boat right now, she has been here for maybe three hours and talked non stop – of course being American, she is not quiet.  I am convinced that she hasn’t drawn a breath since arriving yet the drivel that is coming out of her mouth is a complete waste of everyone’s time. It’s like, so, whatever, you know ! I have had to come to my cabin and close the door to get away from it – and I am not the only one!  The United States of Whatever!

That said, it does look like a trip back to Europe is on the cards in April and we should be there until the end of the year.  I did offer my support to the boss during her last visit for a trip to Asia – that would be very cool if it came off but we will have to wait and see, most likely will just spend the summer on Nantucket once more.

Anyway – I am bored now, lets see whats on TV – BBC iplayer is a nice tool to have

 

 

 

 

 

 

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03/01/2013

Spazpecker, Florence Welch and Paloma Faith

By hairygoose

Frankly, I am bored.

The boss has been on for 10 days now and the furthest single trip we have done is less than 10 miles in a day.  Sitting in a bay just off the local resort where her daughter and ever so wimpy son in law are staying is not much fun – and they hijack the boat at every opportunity for their socialite gatherings.

I am looking forward to getting back on the dock which could happen tomorrow afternoon – at least then I can get off twice a day for some exercise.  I think I might hide away in my ER tomorrow and get the bike cleaned up a bit, ready for my next sortie into Rasta ganja land.

I was impressed to see young Florence taking to the stage recently with the Stones. Sometimes in life, some people make some great choices, and for Flo to sing on ‘Gimme Shelter’ was one of those gems.  Not sure what I mean? Think back to ‘Little Britain’, after having watched it, can you think of anyone better than Tom Baker to have narrated it – or Seann William Scott along side Johnny Knoxville in the Dukes of Hazard or that wonderous collaboration with Bryan Adams and Mel Chisholm (the better looking one from the Spice Girls) singing ‘when you’re gone’ – I rest my case.

Goats have been amusing me still.  On my morning walk last week I must have just missed a goat giving birth to two kidds. I was so close to the action that the little critters were still trying to get to their feet and the soil was wet with birth matter after just having popped out – five minutes earlier and I would have seen it all.

But there’s more

A little further on, close to the spot where I helped free the goat the week before, I heard the cry of a young goat.  I listened for a few seconds but couldn’t hear the mothers return cry – so had to investigate.  Another recent born that had lost his mother was standing atop a rock crying his heart out.  I went closer to check him out and then to my surprise he came walking towards me.  I stopped and let him come close until he was close enough that I could kick his little fucking head in – nah, that was a joke – he came up and sniffed me and then retreated back to his rock.  As I walked away, he started to follow me.  This is how I knew it was a new born, not yet got the fear of humans and willing to follow me thinking I was his mother.  I mean, come on – do I really look like a goat ?

Thankfully he realised his mistake and went back to his rock.

So that’s about all of my adventures for now although more will follow soon as the bird lands on the 10th for a week of Antigua sunshine and some good old fashioned English lovin’.

I haven’t started this years photo album yet, but it will come – keep checking in.

For Connor

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22/12/2012

Brake Fade

By hairygoose

I am still bemused – why do so many people land on my little blog after searching for Lisa Melvin?  If it’s not her, it’s another search ‘Scandinavian Beauties’.  I had always assumed that my blog would be so far down the list of pages that google search pops up that only the stalkers and mental cases bother to go so far through them.

Before we get into the swing of things – let me wank on about how good I am…..blah blah blah!  Just did a 27 miler on the mountain bike up to the highest point on Antigua and back again, maximum height – a tad over 1200 feet, average speed for the whole ting (not a typo but Caribbean speak), an impressive 11mph and a top speed just above the 41 mph mark. Don’t believe me?  then take a look at my stats mofo’s

how good am I

and if that doesn’t impress you, take heed – I tipped the scales this week at just 93.5 kgs – the 90 is in sight.

 

Now, I am certain that this information will ‘upset’ some of my loyal fan base so let me rectify that by asking you all to pause and think for a moment.  It’s Christmas and you are all cozy and safe with your family – but there are members of the armed forces who will still be risking their lives to keep you free and safe, fighting battles that you may hear of and of course covertly risking their lives for things you won’t hear about for 50 years until the official secrets act allows them to be aired. Just think about that when you are moaning about sprouts again in your Christmas dinner.

Now here’s a strange link.  You may remember that I have recently started an epic James Bond journey, watching the whole catalogue of movies. I got to ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’. An epic bond for several reasons.

1. Released in 1969 – we all know what a cool year that was

2. George Lazenby – One of the better looking bonds and opened with the unforgettable line ‘this never happened to the other fella’ as his leading lady runs away from him on the beach.

3. This was the bond movie where 007 got married and also widowed all in one hit

So, remember the Louis Armstrong song ‘we have all the time in the world’ – this was the tune from that movie.  Because, of course, it is such a wonderful song, I started listening to Louis Armstrong while working in the engine room. The older people amongst you (Mr. Hewson) will be familiar with the style of Armstrong and his entourage, trumpets, trombones etc – well it suddenly dawned on me that this is the exact style of music that is used for backing in the old Tom and Jerry movies and it was almost as if I was working in a cartoon.  So now, when I think about James Bond, I think Tom and Jerry.

This morning I also went for a double dive again.  John’s wreck was first on the cards and I touched the depths of 40+ metres before my Nitrogen alarm started ringing. Never had that happen before!  Second dive we broke off from the main group and bagged a couple of Rays.  First one being a huge Eagle Ray with a span probably larger than I am tall – effortlessly gliding through the depths.  The second, I was almost on top of before I saw it.  Half buried in the sand, he seemed content to watch us as we watched him.

Tomorrow, the boss arrives late afternoon and will be with us until the new year but she is so easy going it really is a pleasure to have her on board.

Photos will follow very shortly

So the Mayans were not predicting the end of the world after all – I said it before, I think they just got bored all those years ago of writing the calendars for a time when obviously none of them would still be around – so they simply downed tools and went to the pub for a pint.

 

 

 

 

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19/12/2012

Evacuate the Dance Floor

By hairygoose

For I am feeling BUFF!!!

Honestly, I have been struggling with the heat here, it makes exercising difficult – or should I say very sweaty. I am only managing half my normal distance and stamina wise, half my normal time (please, no jokes there!).  Of course, the terrain is much more interesting though.  Running out of the harbour here and up the hill side is hard work.  Better still, when it gets too steep to run and I end up scrambling on all fours.

I have also had two runs at the hill down from Shirley Heights, both of which failed to surpass the New York 44.6mph.  I have just managed to crack the 40 mph mark before diving on the brakes to make the 90º turn.  I checked the data tonight and that 90º  bend is still rocking at 25 mph although I did manage to lock my front wheel before coming off the brakes and peeling in for the turn.

We have also had a very famous (well if you are an F1 fan!) neighbour this week – a certain fella called Eddie Jordan, on his new boat called ‘Lush’ of all things.  I did a fly by on Mr. Jordan on my second attempt down from Shirley Heights as he was coming up with his Mrs. in tow.  I think I impressed him enough to get a drive next year so look out for me on the grid!

I have just realised today that Christmas is dangerously close now, less than a week away.  Thankfully – I have seen next to nothing of it and I hope to keep it that way.   ‘Bah Humbug’ I hear you cry but honestly, I don’t miss all the fuss and effort to celebrate the birth of a baby that for me is purely mythical.

I saw a goat climbing a tree yesterday – I kidd you not (did you see what I did there ?) – It did look familiar to the one I saved the other day.  I took a photo of it and will add it to a new album, most likely to be called ‘Antigua 2012’ in the coming days.

I am off hunting on Christmas morning.  There is a new fish in these parts, not native to the area with no natural predators.  It eats up all of the other fish on the reef and breeds like nothing on earth.  They call it the Lion Fish.  It has 3 rows of venomous spines along its body and apparently tastes superb (once the spines have gone of course).  I saw 5 last week when we dived on Hercules so should fill the freezer for a while.

Getting back to my buff statement, the terrain here is excellent for hard training so I am expecting some good things when I get on the scales this Friday.  Don’t worry, I will be sure to tell you about it.

The Boss arrives on Saturday so that’s my weekends gone for the next two weeks.

I’ll be back …

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12/12/2012

How to save a life !

By hairygoose

Haven’t been in Antigua long but already having fun.  Now I get some hills to play with which means that finally my trail running shoes have come out – and beauties they are too. Gliding over Middle Ground tonight in a smidge over 22 minutes – which was pretty sweet considering some of it is more of a scramble or climb…….I like it.

This mornings walk was a bevvy of experience for my senses.  Contrary to popular belief, the Caribbean, in particular, Antigua and St Maarten are not safe places to be.  Every year I read stories of tourists or yacht crew being brutally murdered.  It was still dark when I left the boat this morning so I stuck to the main road.  As the morning light started to drop in, I noticed a man walking toward me with a machete.  I am sure this is not normal for any part of the world so I braced myself to give him a swift punch in the throat should he decide to try and chop me up. Thankfully he decided to pass me by.

I even survived ‘Crack Alley’ as the locals call it.  Always a heart stopper walking through there – at any time of day. Yes, I am talking about Antigua still.!

Finally got up onto middle ground where I saw my first real life Mongoose scurrying around with the goats. Then I saw something very worrying.  A girl coming towards me with her ear buds in listening to music while walking the trail.  Second time in two days I have seen girls on their own walking across here with buds in.  So distracted was todays girl, that she failed to notice a bleating goat with its head stuck through a rock maybe 2 feet from where she had just walked.

At first I thought the little fella was looking through a gap at me, a bit like that dog I photographed in Mallorca a few years back

Guard Dog

But no – this fella had crashed his head through a gap that his body was too big to fit through.  the silly sod had also forgot that his horns on his head would act like a barb on a fishing hook when he tried to back up and draw his head out.  Worse still, in his panic, his arse had also gone in the wrong direction and was also wedged against the rock – he was proper stuck and no doubt shitting himself as I passed by.  I had to stop and help him.  I tried holding his horns and guiding his head back through the hole but his arse kept getting stuck. So I tried pulling his rear legs but his horns kept getting stuck.  The rock he was stuck under was too big for me to reach both ends of him at the same time so there was only one thing I could do – head back to the boat and get help.

When we got close to him again, the bleats were sounding a little coarse, like he had been screaming for help for hours. Poor fella was so distressed, when I reached down to hold his horns again, he turned his head away so that his eyes couldn’t see me coming.  I am assuming that was his instinct, he thought he was about to be eaten and didn’t want to see his doom moving in.

This time with Richie on the horns and me pulling at the legs it looked more promising.  I dug out some rocks with my hands, grabbed his legs and gently pulled him free.  Hurrah I thought – I saved his life.  The silly sod only tried to run straight back into the same hole again, no doubt trying to avoid myself and Rich on the other side of the rock.  Lucky for him I still had hold of his legs so another grab backwards then I grabbed his horns and guided his head to the safe side of the rock and released him.

Now, this may sound daft, but he gave a short bleat as he went.  Not a long cry for help, nor was it the call for his friends – they were much longer and different tones.  I am certain this little short bleat was ‘thanks’ in cliff goat language.

I had started my day by saving a life ! From this point forward, I have been hearing the theme tune to Grey’s Anatomy in my head all day.

How to Save a life

On the flip side – I also heard that Ravi Shankar had died.  I actually heard this over someones radio as I was walking past their house this morning.  I am guessing most of you will have no idea who Ravi Shankar is.  Shame on you!

This weekend it’s deep dive time.  John’s Wreck, a touch below 40 metres.  Been a few years since I saw it, and back then it had only just been sunk so I am hoping that it is well inhabited now with local life.  Dropped in at Pillars of Hercules on Saturday morning and managed to spot Matilda.  A menacing yet serenely beautiful thing is this green Eel.  Longer than I am tall and with a body thicker than my thigh – I don’t like to get too close to her and keep a respectful wide berth.

Stingray Alley also turned up trumps with a couple of big Stingrays in one dive.  Even saw a carcass of a dead lobster that was head to tail as long as my arm is from finger tip to elbow.  The local fish were feasting on its remains.

And of course the water temperature – according to my computer………… 28ºC

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