Tag Archives: Lisa Melvin

Brake Fade

I am still bemused – why do so many people land on my little blog after searching for Lisa Melvin?  If it’s not her, it’s another search ‘Scandinavian Beauties’.  I had always assumed that my blog would be so far down the list of pages that google search pops up that only the stalkers and mental cases bother to go so far through them.

Before we get into the swing of things – let me wank on about how good I am…..blah blah blah!  Just did a 27 miler on the mountain bike up to the highest point on Antigua and back again, maximum height – a tad over 1200 feet, average speed for the whole ting (not a typo but Caribbean speak), an impressive 11mph and a top speed just above the 41 mph mark. Don’t believe me?  then take a look at my stats mofo’s

how good am I

and if that doesn’t impress you, take heed – I tipped the scales this week at just 93.5 kgs – the 90 is in sight.


Now, I am certain that this information will ‘upset’ some of my loyal fan base so let me rectify that by asking you all to pause and think for a moment.  It’s Christmas and you are all cozy and safe with your family – but there are members of the armed forces who will still be risking their lives to keep you free and safe, fighting battles that you may hear of and of course covertly risking their lives for things you won’t hear about for 50 years until the official secrets act allows them to be aired. Just think about that when you are moaning about sprouts again in your Christmas dinner.

Now here’s a strange link.  You may remember that I have recently started an epic James Bond journey, watching the whole catalogue of movies. I got to ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’. An epic bond for several reasons.

1. Released in 1969 – we all know what a cool year that was

2. George Lazenby – One of the better looking bonds and opened with the unforgettable line ‘this never happened to the other fella’ as his leading lady runs away from him on the beach.

3. This was the bond movie where 007 got married and also widowed all in one hit

So, remember the Louis Armstrong song ‘we have all the time in the world’ – this was the tune from that movie.  Because, of course, it is such a wonderful song, I started listening to Louis Armstrong while working in the engine room. The older people amongst you (Mr. Hewson) will be familiar with the style of Armstrong and his entourage, trumpets, trombones etc – well it suddenly dawned on me that this is the exact style of music that is used for backing in the old Tom and Jerry movies and it was almost as if I was working in a cartoon.  So now, when I think about James Bond, I think Tom and Jerry.

This morning I also went for a double dive again.  John’s wreck was first on the cards and I touched the depths of 40+ metres before my Nitrogen alarm started ringing. Never had that happen before!  Second dive we broke off from the main group and bagged a couple of Rays.  First one being a huge Eagle Ray with a span probably larger than I am tall – effortlessly gliding through the depths.  The second, I was almost on top of before I saw it.  Half buried in the sand, he seemed content to watch us as we watched him.

Tomorrow, the boss arrives late afternoon and will be with us until the new year but she is so easy going it really is a pleasure to have her on board.

Photos will follow very shortly

So the Mayans were not predicting the end of the world after all – I said it before, I think they just got bored all those years ago of writing the calendars for a time when obviously none of them would still be around – so they simply downed tools and went to the pub for a pint.





Just what is the secret of Lisa Melvin?

I am curious – every time without fail, when I log onto my blog to see what’s been happening, I can see the search strings that people use to get here – ALWAYS – Lisa bloody Melvin’s name is there! What has she done to be so popular?

There are several downsides to working at sea.  So far this year I have missed two weddings, the Queens Jubilee, the Olympics Opening Ceremony and today’s closing ceremony.  Add to that, I last saw my girlfriend way back in the first half of June and we are currently planning to meet up in Vegas at the beginning of October.  Always, Christmas is missed as I am usually over here in the Caribbean but missing the fuss of Christmas is not really a big deal.

Today I watched the text highlights on the BBC website of the closing ceremony – Can’t stream live because I am officially in the wrong territory, but I can read someone else’s text.  To be fair, this is how I have seen all of the Formula 1 races this year so far – as a live text feed put in by someone else.

I am heavily bored today – we have guests on and are hopping our way up the East Coast of the U. S of A – fuck yeah !  Having guests on severely limits the work I can do, in general its a time for reading manuals and work histories – but that doesn’t stop it getting boring.  I also can’t get off the boat for any exercise which is driving me bloody mental.

Life without Facebook is proving surprisingly spectacular – I haven’t missed it – baby and horse photos all over the place and all that gibberish shit that twats like to post.  I have encouraged a few new readers this week and to honour them, I am considering a photo gallery totally dedicated to …………….Babies and Horses !!

Please welcome the terrible Cooper sisters, Amy and Lynsey and of course Amy Horne too – I reckon between the 3 of them, they could fill a whole photo album with the above mentioned shite.

So lets have it then – Baby and Horse photos mailed to me at the usual address for inclusion in the gallery of the year.  Use your imagination though – astound me, surprise me with your artistic content – although those comments do worry me with what I might receive from the Jelly and Custard stable – it could get messy.

What’s in store for the coming week?  Who knows.  I have just agreed to stay on past my 2 month probation period on board Timoneer. You can have a look at this old beauty at www.timoneer.org

So, Races next week I think and then the Newport Bucket is calling – much beyond that, we don’t really know where or what we will be doing.

I would like to leave you with a little thought for the evening (or Monday morning where you are ) – without exercise, my poos have turned from a huge mound of steaming organic waste to something that more resembles what next door’s cat might leave on your pebble driveway – does this mean I will be gaining weight at a couple of pounds a day ?








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