Tag Archives: donnie darko

Could be – Soon enough

Been a hectic week.  Late last week we got word that the local volcano was showing signs of activity.  Earlier this week an earthquake close to one of the neighbouring islands triggered a Tsunami warning and then this morning I woke up to hear that the local authorities have raised the volcano threat to level 4 – eruption imminent.

To add to those natural woes, I also suffered a burst hot water tank on Wednesday night, flooding two cabins below and trashing some very expensive  audio gear.  Life’s good.

I have never been close to an active volcano before so I am actually contemplating hitting the road in the early hours with the scooter to take a closer look.  There is currently an exclusion zone in place at 6km but that might just be close enough – that little 125 scooter has a top speed of just 100 kph!

Poor old Rosie had her bag snatched the other night while on the back of a scooter.  Bali is not the paradise you might have believed.  Took her bag, bank cards, cash and new phone and vanished into the evening darkness.

Now here’s a tune from back in the day.

Had that blasting on thursday night as I finished putting the galley together after the water tank failure.

 

Talking of galley – we have a new stewie on board, I have my concerns. She joined 5 days ago and the very next day we had to travel to Singapore for a visa run.  We had time to talk unfortunately.  She said something to me that always, ALWAYS sets alarm bells ringing in my head.

‘I have travelled to 49 countries’

That saying, the quantifying of how much someone has travelled usually sends a shiver down my spine, makes me roll my eyes and go and talk to someone else.  This time was no different.  I have an issue with it because it then makes me think that those people only travel so that they can brag about it.  Great that they have actually done it rather than lie about it but I feel sad for them if they are only going to the effort of travel for bragging rights. That line is a clear indicator that someone is just full of guff.

I have travelled quite a bit.  I feel no need to brag about it, in fact, I suspect I am deliberately coy about it.  I have absofuckinglutely no idea how many countries I have been to – even if I sat down with an atlas and spun around the world, I am sure I would forget some of them – but I feel no need to share where I have been, with one exception – if you asked me specifically if I had been somewhere, then I would talk about it.

The same person then began to wank on about surfing and where they had surfed, then scuba diving came up, again wanking on about how this place was good, that place was good blah bla blah bla blah.  I just kept quite, couldn’t even be arsed to join in.

Generally I don’t mind talking about that shit when it naturally flows into conversation, I will share my experiences equally – but when its all about you trying to tell me just how fucking cool you are – I couldn’t really give a monkeys – keep it to yourself love.

Anyway, I digress.  The reason why this girl came to mind was when my water tank burst.  My alarms started ringing at 5am – I was up and ripping the galley apart to get to the offending water heater – typically boat builders put these in shit places and then build the boat around them – this was no exception.  So by 7 am, I had at least stopped the flow of water and was having a cup of tea in the crew mess.  Two hours of pulling the cupboards, walls, machinery apart in the galley – this girl walks through the place and down to the crew mess where I am sipping a well earned cup of PG.  Her first words to me after walking through what must have looked like a war zone??

Did you sleep OK?

Really ????  What do you think love, its 7am and the galley looks like a battlefield – do you think it fell apart over night?  Sometimes I think we give too much space on this planet to fucktards then another thought crossed my mind.  Maybe the number is 49 as the first 48 just wanted to get shot of her?

I also learned that she has offered to make a claim on her insurance for Rosie’s phone that was stolen and she has just sent her drivers license back to Oz to take some points for a speeding ticket a friend has just received as he already has the max points on his license.  I wonder how long this girl will last.

It was at this point I wanted to insert a clip from an old movie ‘Restless Natives’ but Youtube has failed me miserably.  A great film from the 80’s about the Clown and the Wolfman robbing tourist coaches on a Suzuki GP100. The soundtrack played by Big Country, you should go and look it up.

Now the Suzuki GP125 was the bike to have back then but these boys opted for the smaller 100cc version.  Pre dating the hugely successful Suzuki GP125 was the learner friendly Yamaha FS1E or ‘fizzy’ as it was lovingly referred to by spotty petrol heads of its time.  These two stroke pocket rockets were every teenage boys dream back then.

There – that cleared the air I think.  I feel better now, might even order another coffee.

If it is movies with great soundtracks you are looking for, I make two recommendations

Grosse Point Blank – with the supremely divine Minni Driver & of course Donnie Darko (Directors Cut) with Jake & Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Want to see Maggie at her best? Stranger than Fiction is the movie for you. Will Ferrel delivers one of the best lines in the history of movies – if you don’t understand the joke, rent the movie.  If you don’t agree it is one of the best lines in movie history – you are wrong.

Now, those chicks may be hot, they may be famous and they may be rich but they are definitely no SJ

 

Game On !!

 


Aftermath

You remember John Connor?  The man destined to save the world from the rise of the machines? His major purpose in life was to survive Judgement Day and lead the fight against the machines after the Nuclear Holocaust.

I saw him again last night – a little older, a little fatter.  Last time I saw him was in Terminator 2 – Judgement Day.  This guy has a bad habit of working on nuke films where the bombs are dropped – at the moment is survival ratio is 50/50.  Last night, he died, stabbed in the throat by a fat, beardie twat red neck – but in Judgement Day he survived to become a hero – of sorts.

That was the thing about the Terminator – it was way way ahead of its time.  If you don’t believe me, order a pizza, rent all of the movies and sit for a day and watch the lot – back to back.  the original was, I think way back in ’84 ( I can’t be arsed to divert off and check that out but it sounds about right), T2 was a good 10 years in the following, maybe more ( I really can’t be arsed to check that stat out either – but trust me).  Then the others followed but the story is riveting.  Think back to the 80’s.  back in the day, to use a phrase that gets overused by bell ends, back in the day it was a cinematic master piece – much like Donnie Darko in 2001.

It made a storyline that really has come true and will become more relevant as time passes.  Machines that take control of the planet – becoming self aware, realising that the humans who created them are their enemy and should be ‘terminated’.

Do you remember watching The Inbetweeners?  anyone that has suffered the indignity of puberty could relate to just how well that was written.  It’s on a par.

 

There – I don’t know where I was going with that, but that is enough!

 

All said and done, last nights 99p movie rental from the iTunes Store was worth every penny – in fact it was worth a damn site more.  Aftermath – look it up and rent it – I thought it was bloody brilliant !!  I like the iTunes Store for that – sometimes you get complete shite – other times, a blinding gem.  It’s a no loose situation really, it’s only 99p.

Even that film ‘Rubber’ – that was complete bollocks but at 99p – bollocks is no problem right?

 

Now, lets welcome a recent site visitor from Canada.  I don’t know much about them, they didn’t leave a message but maybe they will come back and say Hi sometime soon.  Oh Canada !

 

Moving on to the important stuff – HOLIDAYS !!!

Yes mofo’s, Holidays are coming…..!!!!!  21st March and I hot foot it off the boat.  As I have worked like a mad man for the last 3 months, they have agreed to extend my time off for another week – with no penalty for me – Hurrah for Karma !  After that, two months in Singapore before heading down to Bali for a month or so – Yes Bali….!  I will be taking my dive gear and getting paid while I am there……..S-weet.

It’s about now I would like to sign off and dream about driving the Rangie around some of Warwickshire’s finest country lanes

 

 

Laters


Flange – A word of beauty and hidden meaning.

Recovering from my ‘I hate Florida’ rant of the other day, I am looking forward to Colorado next weekend and hoping that it will revive my faith in human nature on this side of the pond.

Today, I would like to invite you all to discuss the following statement…

If your ball sack hangs lower than your bell end, is this a sign of age or a sign of a warm ambient temperature ?

I will leave you to chew that one over for a while (poor choice of expression I am sure).

I am also wondering about the street cleaners here that use leaf blowers.  All I ever see is these guys wandering around blowing leaves.  I never see anyone scooping them up.  Am I actually watching a guy that has blown those leaves down from Alaska, across California, through Death Valley, across Texas Louisiana and Mississippi before stopping for a burger in Alabama and then pushing across the state line into Florida?  Better still, are they even this seasons leaves?  I wonder.

I also wonder about the veeeee-hickles they use over here and the amount of flashing lights they have on them. School buses I can understand, Police, Fire and Paramedics I get that too – Park Rangers?  really?  Parking Enforcement Officers – why? Postal deliveries – come on.  I even saw a golf buggy the other day with strobe lights flashing all over the place.  It seems every veeeeee hickle has them and for me it de-sensitises you to them – but not the yanks of course.  Put a delivery truck on a half mile long and straight section of dual carriageway, all lights flashing while it is unloading and watch the locals drive all the way up to the back of it until their noses are pressed on the light lenses before they realise it’s not moving and they need to change lanes.  First class!

That’ll do for now, I need to find a Donnie Darko Skeleton suit for Halloween

 

That is one big nasty gash!

That is one big nasty gash!

 


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