Tag Archives: great north

Ready Steady Cook

Ok, so the Stoner Dude was funny !!

It is time however – to hit the ground with a thud, and start running again – race day is fast approaching.  I say fast approaching but I still have two months.  I did start this week in earnest though and plan a big half marathon distance up that bloody mountain on Sunday morning – that is going to be a slog and a record breaker.  Highest elevation climb and quite possibly longest distance too at around 22.5kms.  It is also a potential ankle breaker on the way back down – that route is tough on my bike.  I am expecting a time of around 2:30.  If it rains, I will stay in bed.

90kgs this evening, with a target race weight of just 88kgs so it really is ‘Game On’ now.  That said, I have just arranged a Sunday afternoon pizza fest at Diablito’s later this month with a few chums and Mr & Mrs. Cooper are ‘on island’ at the moment, I may even treat them to the best carrot cake ever !!

Or maybe I will just eat all of it myself.


Explore your nether regions

I wanted to write something snappy and witty but instead opted for the drudgery of mediocre boredom – shit, did I just say that ?  Well, one more week in the South of France and then we depart for Mallorca.  Not a moment too soon if you ask me, 6 months in France is enough for anyone.  John Thaw may have managed a ‘Year in Provence’ but he was a highly paid TV actor. The reality is it is all too fashionably anal for me.

Last weekend I managed to disappoint myself.  A parkrun with the aim of setting a new PB but missing it by 10 seconds.  That is harsh, I can remember a couple of occasions when my concentration slipped.  When that happens, you slow down.  I reckon I would have had it if I kept my concentration – maybe next time?

Also gave the mountain bike some love this last week.  Overdue some head bearings, pedal bearings, bottom bracket, front brake pads and new handlebar grips – they were all pretty worn out.  I also fitted a damn fine second-hand back tyre that I sponged off of The Yates who was upgrading so I am on a flying machine again.  I am going to try to squeeze a 44T on the front again though – that 42 just doesn’t unleash my legs.

3 months until the Great North 10k – and I am fully intending to set a new record there.  For those of you with Runkeeper, you will be able to track me again in real-time as I race against those Gurkhas one more time.  My last run, I managed to catch and pass two of them even though they had a 3 minute head start – I was impressed with that even if you weren’t.

But for now I have nothing more to say.

 

Gunk my old friend – we will meet again.


Poetry in Motion

Roses are Red

Violets are Twisted

Bend over love

You’re about to get fisted !!

 

 

It’s all over now bar the racing.  That’s it, done!  Last 10k training run completed this evening in a very shabby 50 minutes (not that my heart thought it was shabby though !!)  Race weight is going to be a whopping 92.2kgs (although tomorrow nights pizza might add a few grams to that) – I was aiming for 89kgs but whats half a stone between friends huh ?

Dress code for the race will be all black with mid blue Brooks Glycerines on my feet, skin coloured nipple plasters which you wont be able to see because 1. they are skin coloured and 2. they will be under my shirt!, a transparent hooded poncho if it is raining, and whichever pair of socks get pulled out of my drawer the day before when I am packing. I will also be wearing a tight pair of briefs to keep my tackle all together and off the floor.

If you need anything else – right now it is probably too late.

I do have one question though – where are Neal Westwood and Verity McCoy – I have nae heard from either of them in a long loch.


Interim Measure

I just felt the need to share a little something with you so wanted to make a short and sweet post.  I stumbled across this absolute gem of a video this morning on liveleak and it is fair to say, it had me laughing even though I am sick.  It is work safe but does need volume so you can hear what these chaps are saying.

a slap too far ?

Then, what was going to be a very short post, turned into more of a lengthy debate.  I started reading some of the comments on the video and all the guys were finding this video hilarious (and who wouldn’t) but they were also saying that women would not find it amusing as their sense of humour was different, I would say it is more complex.  This then got me to thinking about other male/female differences that makes women’s lives much harder than mens.

The first thing I noticed (as I was tidying my room) was washing clothes.  See, as a man, I can just grab all of my dirty clothes, regardless of origin or colour, bundle them all into one machine, select ‘rapid wash’ leave the temp at 30º and walk away for half an hour.  When it’s finished, bundle that heap of wet rags into the drier and switch it on for 40 minutes – hey presto, all my washing is done in less than an hour and a half and back in its storage facility, awaiting its next outing.

Shoes – no complex decision process here.  Guys only own two pairs of shoes in general and most likely one pair is covered in mud.  If we are going to see our friends or family, the muddy shoes are what those people will be expecting us to be wearing.

Traffic lights – they are either green or red – unless you are a chick.  If its green, it might go red, causing you to stop.  Then you have to decide, eye liner, lippy, hair, eye shadow, blusher etc etc.  If it is already red, you decision process is slightly different based on how much time on red there is left, but it is similar to the green scenario – eye liner, lippy, hair, eye shadow, blusher etc etc but if you really are not sure, then SMS, Facebook, Twatter etc etc. (actually, as Facebook has grown in popularity, it has reduced options for ladies at this point – no-one still uses other social media platforms like Bebo, MySpace, Hi5 and others – so ladies, Facebook is saving you time )

Chocolate – good topic for me.  Can I eat a bar of chocolate? Yes, if I go for a run to offset the calories.  Can a chick do it?  Well first there is the worry, that old saying ‘a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips’.  Once they get past that, they figure out a little exercise will burn it off but then a whole decision process is kicked off.  What type of exercise should they do, where should they do it, how long for, what to wear, how much make up to put on, which gym kit is most fashionable at the moment.  By the time a decision is made, it is dark outside and a chick can’t possibly exercise after dark in case the spiders get her!

So it is true, ladies lives are far more complex than men.  There is that old saying too ‘ Women prefer the simpler things in life –  Men!’  Now please don’t let this saying mislead you.  It’s not a preference on their behalf, it is more likely to be envy at our no-nonsense lifestyles.

 

I did warn you it was going to get lengthy.  Now, let’s get back on track……..running.  I am sick as a dog at the moment, real sick, man sick, sicker than any woman has ever been, ever.  So sick in fact that I have not ran all week – that is very sick.  It does though lead me onto the need for a soundtrack for my up and coming Great North Run.  I needed a soundtrack for 1h 45m + a 10m slot of Rihanna at the end as punishment if I was still running/motivation to get across the line.  I came up with a list of songs that was more than 3 hours long.  I have slowly squeezed it down but I am still over time by a good 40 minutes.  The current playlist is below, let me know your thoughts as to what more should be taken out, what more should be added. I will be re-sequencing the tunes listed too, to keep me slow at the beginning, to speed me up when I am flagging and to finish in a giant crescendo of noise and pain.

 

Great North

 

 


%d bloggers like this: