Category Archives: Goose Freckles

St Tropez

 
OK so finally, it looks like we are leaving. The weather has been really shite recently, twice now we have postponed the sea trials due to strong winds, last week we even had snow – snow in mallorca in march for christs sake !
 
so sea trials are now scheduled for friday morning. If all goes well, at exactly 1 minute past midnight on friday evening, we will litterally set sail and head for the south of france, just a short hop across the med, arriving around lunchtime on sunday.
 
I am told that it is extremely bad luck to leave port on a friday! so we wait until the big hand passes 12, and then race out into the med, trying to arrive at our destination before the storms kick up again. it will be a race against the clock as the seas will still be heavy from the recent wind but if we dont make a run for it, we could be stuck here for another few weeks, leaving a very unhappy owner waiting in St Tropez.
 
Once the carnage is over, i will fly out of Nice on monday and head to  Inglaterra for a one nighter and then out again early on tuesday morning. I have also managed to blag the very gorgeous lisa melvin into buying me dinner on monday evening. no doubt she will take me to some big time swanky place to make me look completely out of place – Melv, Lets go to pizza hut instead – i like a good stuffed crust.
 
Anyway – the camera will be charged and my trigger finger is itchy so look out for some new photos next week -ñ including the long awaited palma poo shots
 
remember – you saw it here first!
 
 
 
 
authors footnote – to my dedicated readers that actually read this section – hurrah for Max, Verity and Lexa!!!

so much going on

 
so yesterday i met with a skipper about a job on a boat, starts the season in ibiza, then back to mallorca for a charter, then the british isles and scotland for the summer before heading to the caribbean for the winter, returning early next year for a refit. sounds good eh?
 
then today, nariida asked if i would like to do the deliviery to St Tropez leaving next week, and also if i would like to act as a relief engineer while craig is on holidays this season, and they definately want me back for next winters refit too!
 
so the next few days will see some news.
 
saturday, we hit the med on sea trials – gotta make sure all of my work is ok!

nasal hair

 
what is it with this stuff? all of a sudden, from out of nowhere i am plucking nasal hair each day!! there once was a time in my life when i stood in front of the mirror and happilly squeezed zits but now, big thick black hairs are the order of the day – no more zits!
 
i got my camera back, and yesterday on my day off, walked into palma looking for dog poo. i only got a couple of shots – the city was unusually
free from shit, i guess there was something happening as the street cleaners were out in force earlier than normal. i havent uploaded them yet, i will do that when i have a more fulfilling montage.
 
the wind has picked up here, and is currently blowing its tits off. nariida is almost complete, i have maybe two weeks left and then she leaves. I have been in discussion with the engineer about covering his holidays this year, which i guess is a clear sign that i have done some good work for him if he is happy to leave the boat in my hands.
 
I have two options at the moment. stay here and be land based until the end of september or land a job on a boat for a year. i have a land based option that i need to finalise this week and i am also talking with a captain of another uk based boat which comes highly recommended.
 
time will tell
 
anyway – until then – keep ’em peeled!
 

well, lookie here

 
da camra is bak so 4 all ma m8s out der, nu piks on da way!
 
Ok, for all you others that are over 25, i was trying to say – my camera is now back and tomorrow i will be out hitting the streets of palma looking for piles of dog poo to entertain you all.
 
maybe tomorrow i will write a little more as i upload too, so be sure to drop by tomorrow evening and see whats going on.
 
name confusion has struck hard this week. on the last two occasions i met with fritz, i almost called her lineke instead, i managed to scrape through but i am sure i will get busted next time !!
 

easy observation

 
ok, so the world is full of twats!
 
while typing my last piece, i had to endure a cockney twat talking to his family  in england at stupid volumes with very basic cockney diallect. Repeating himself everytime the phone changed hands at the other end, a false and strained laugh and talking at a hundred miles an hour with little thought behind what he was saying, it seemed like his call was a chore rather than a quest to stay in touch.
 
but the complete fuckwit next door is beating that hands down!!!
 
we have all looked in despair at poncey twats that wear sunglasses indoors? well, check out the complete ozzie fuckwit two seats down, not only has he got his sunglasses on indoors but he has them on while using the pc – what a complete fuckwit!
 
 
 
 
 
authors footnote. at this point, the author would like to confirm that there really are some complete twats in this world!  as max is the only person known to read these footnotes, i would just like to say ‘hey babe’

absence of observations

 
let me tell you. just the other week, russ mentioned that my page was becoming a little boring due to a lack of, and i use his words, a lack of ‘fuckwit observations’. i guess this has been mainly due to the amount i have been working as this stops me getting out and about to make such fuckwit observations but i hope to today redress the balance.
 
on friday night, i went to an apartment party which just happened to be frequented by a good gathering of stoners! of course, not my thing but i decided i should try to mess with their minds.
 
I mentioned the Earl of Sandwich, and his great invention, the sandwich. I guess few people realise that this is a great british invention, on a par with the internet or information superhighway as it was once known, both massive world changing inventions and both by english men.
 
anyway, a few questions and debates arose from my observations, mainly
 
how did we used to eat food with bread before the great earl had his brainwave? assuming that we just laid our food on top of one pìece of bread ( i say piece because this invention would have happened in the era – pre sliced or to give it its latin name ‘ sliceus fingerous’).
 
more importantly – what was this food then called? an ‘open’ perhaps? i have no idea.
 
the killer question which really had the stoners on edge was – if the great earl hadnt made the invention, how long would we have waited until someone else thought of it? i mean, as far as inventions go, it wasnt the toughest one in the book now was it ?
 
ok, so now i got you all thinking!!!!!
 
so more news form this week. my clutch in the car is kaputt. i have had to leave it at a garage with a spanish mechanic, not something i am happy about but at least he came recommended by mason ( who still anchors in poo bay)
 
i re-instated the greenpeace book, and am once again rivetted. i sat in a cafe this morning for a read, it was heaven. like all sundays should be, bright sunshine, just me myself and i with a good book.
 
last night i stayed home, watched a video called ‘click’ with adam sandler. a very cool film with the extremely hot Kate beckinsale too, other stars like christopher walken, david hasselhoff and for the eagle eyed amongst you, delores o’riordan from ‘the cranberries’. it was a perfect night, i turned the tv off and fell asleep where i lay, under my quilt and slept until 10am with morning.
 
nariida will come to a close before the 25th and i will look for new work. i have two options at the moment, a shore based position and stay here until the end of september or find a boat and sail for a year, still undecided at this moment in time.
 
anyway – stay tuned for summer madness – as soon as my camera is back, i promise some stunning photos of palma dog poo
 

days like these

 
man, i hope i dont have too many.
 
a little behind schedule, nariida hit the water this morning. I can only liken the feeling to someone who is having a baby, an expectant father. The excitement and anticipation builds as the boat is carried to the water and gently lowered in, then all hell breaks loose as everyone dives on board to check systems and valves for problems. Now imagine, you are the chief engineer or the captain, the anticipation for them must be mental.
 
all was well except for one small problem, a leaky through hull valve. the law of the boat says that if you worked on a valve and it leaks, its your problem to fix it. Now by fixing it, i mean taking the old one off and rectifying the error. When you take a valve out of a boat, the water comes in, so, the poor soul that fitted the valve has to dive under the boat and insert a wooden bung into the hole from the outside.
 
by now, i am thinking that you have guessed ahead? yep, i am the poor soul that fitted the valve so sometime this week, i have to take a swim, without a wet suit in a very cold meditereanean sea!
 
if that wasnt bad enough, i thought my clutch cable had broken and tonight fitted a new one. things are not all they would seem. the clutch cable was fine bu tthe thrust bearing had pulled off the clutch unit instead so now i have to take the gearbox out and fit a new clutch. bummer is, i fitted a new clutch less than a year and a half ago, i guess thats what you get for buying things on ebay.
 
so now, i have to use the dollar i was saving for a laptop to fix my beloved surf bus instead.
 
bummer

P M T

 
or to give it it’s full name – Pre Meditereanean Tension
 
Yep, the pace has been hotting up this week, nariida is due back in the water at midday on monday. It was strange to notice but everyone just picked up their pace this week without being prompted. Of course, they all know that out splash day is monday, the place just has a sense of urgency about it.
 
Last night i went into the annex to look for the puppy. as i approached, i noticed the windows and doors were open. The annex also has an office inside for paddy and his website and his helper. looking in, i couldnt believe my eyes……….puppy shit everywhere! for the whole week, i havent been inside the annex, i just open the door in the morning and again at night to let the dogs out or back in again. as i started work early this week, it has always been dark when i leave and dark when i return, but yesterday, i got home at a reasonable time.
 
the stench was almost making me gag as i cleaned it. then i thought, what if Elu, paddys helper, thinks i know the shit is there and i have been too lazy to clean it up? embarrassing!
 
Tonight, i will be home again in the city. gonna sleep until i wake up then head to work tomorrow. today we fired the new engine, tomorrow, hydraulics and water systems – will be fun.
 
on monday we hit the water and then it is a short rtip across the bay to another mooring.
 
maybe i will write again tomorrow

wednesday – dubious!!!

 
ok, so my week progresses, i wondered what was in store for me today.
 
 this morning, the gas ran out and my shower went cold. no piped gas here just bottles. not a bad start to the day ?
 
I was also missing one of the dogs, not seen for 24 hours and nowhere inside the house and not hearing me call it.
 
while working in the rudder section of nariida today fixing the exhausts i was full of hapiness. i started singing a classic rolf harris song, ‘two litle boys’ when the captain popped his head in laughing like a mad man!    busted !
 
before leaving work tonight i had a quick check around paddys bike. i noticed that the rear tyre was beginning to split and de-laminate, not a good thing, so i didnt go so fast on the way home.
 
Shock horror when i arrived. the missing dog had returned but the puppy was missing from the annex. i walked to the main house and opened the door, there he was in the kitchen the cute little thing.
 
a quick look for puppy poo and no sign of it anywhere. i walked in and closed the door then i saw it. a semi firm puppy poo placed perfectly behind the door so that when i opened it, the mush spread all across the floor!
 
the little bastard is locked outside as i type!
 
stay tuned for tomorrows bundle of laughs

tuesday – just a little better

 
so i jumped on paddys motorbike this morning and hooned it off towards palma. as i approached the first roundabout i hit the brakes!!!!
 
oh shit !!!
 
the pads were on the metal and there was so much play in the headstock tthat i thought i would never stop. i should have known better! paddy and spanners just dont get on well.
 
tonight when i got home, i spied a pile of puppy poo. i must have missed this one from yesterday. i walked into the lounge and spotted another one. I walked around the whole room and found three more. this cute little puppy is one mean poo machine – the little devil can definately sleep in the anex unil paddy gets home
 
wednesday should be better