Category Archives: Goose Freckles

07/07/2007

men and shopping

By hairygoose
 
let me give you a few tips for when you are loading up your trolley.
 
Normal ettiquette suggests loading the heavier items at the rear of the trolley, closer to you. with the weight at the rear, it makes for easier manouvering around the aisles. but if like me, you still like to hoon it down the aisles hanging off the grab rail, then you have to stick the heavier stuff in the front for ballast. sure it handles like a pig but who cares ! if you can make it from one end of the shop to the other with one giant push, all the better thats what i reckon.
 
on a lighter note
 
one week left in sunny palma.
 
the car is good, i have my ferry ticket, just need a tank of diesel and to pack up my things and thats it! ready to rock and roll for the summer.
 
my last 7 days in palma until maybe october.
 
Just had a trip to the magical porto pi. you may remember me ranting on about that place months ago, the shopping centre from heaven, a complete babe fest. well, its still the same but now its summer time, the chicks are super hot. the place is so rammo, it is again intimidating so for the second time in  a week i have tried to get out of going there. no joy.
 
please dont get me wrong, i fully appreciate the female form. normally, coming from england, you would expect to see a couple of hotties while trolley surfing around sainsburys but in this place, it is tottie heaven. even if they stacked the shelves with mingers, there would still be more crumpet in there than rough stuff.

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06/07/2007

the love bus

By hairygoose
 
for the second consecutive year, the love bus has passed its annual (good job i didnt mis-spell that) inspection without a single fault!
 
Hurrah you say. thing is, to be an MOT inspector in spain or portugal, you dont need a mechanical background at all, apparently they can teach you all that you need to know in a comprehensive 6 week training course. Now compare that to blighty where, without 6 years mechanical experience, a recognised trade qualification and a Ministry test to validate all of your skills and knowledge, you cant even MOT a mechano set!
 
Of course, being of sound body and mind, i always keep my car in tip top condition purely because you never know when the next big road trip is due. So i finally replaced the punctured tyre that i got while driving here in november last year! yes, 8 months without a spare goddamn it!
 
so that brings me nicely onto my next road trip. On saturday 14th, i will be venturing homeward again, 10 hours from valencia, 17 hours in total  and around 1000 kms (which i will manage on just 1 tank of diesel) and i will be back in my love shack for the summer.
 
this time, i wont need my huge box of CD’s because i bought an 80gig iPod and radio transmitter for the car, so fresh tunes all the way. when i get home, the ding king will have repaired my longboard for me so it will be straight out for a sunday morning surf. I doubt i will be much cop though, a bit lardy from living on a boat with a full time chef and not been in the water since new year, so it will be a softly softly approach.
 
My plan, is to do nothing but surf until september! and i mean nothing. nothing more than clearing the garden and tidying up the house. no building work, nothing. a fun summer for me.
 
I would say that it will be cool to meet up with all of my old chums again but there are few of them left now. It is hard to survive in the algarve if you dont have a big bag of money to take with you and none of them do.
 
of course my favourite german chicks are still there, say hi to frannie and kati everyone. not forgetting russ the cock and family, ben and tina, sean the mad paddy, ric from the bubble to mention but a few.
 
Zeni is back in the states though, she was the last of my original friends to leave. she does promise to return some day but i doubt that will happen. so i am left wondering what awaits me
 
mason, cris and paul ( all three of them are complete cocks) will arrive some time in september but i will have left by then.
 
so for now, thats all i have to say
 
 
authors footnote – the author would like to thank his sister for the nelson mandela joke. sadly i cant get the text to fit the page correctly but i am sure you can still get the joke
 
 

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06/07/2007

sisters !!!!!

By hairygoose
 
 Nelson Mandela  is sitting at home one day, when there’s a knock at the door. Standing in Nelsons doorway is a small Japanese man, dressed  in a white coat and holding a clipboard.
 "Good morning Sir" says  the man, "You take derivery of two thousand flont headrights"
 "Two  thousand front headlights?" exclaims Nelson, "I haven't ordered headlights, you must have the wrong address, now good day to you". And
he shuts the door.
 The following morning, Nelson hears the door bell ring. He opens the door, and again there is the small Japanese chap, white coat and clipboard.
 "You take derivery of 124 pair  rinscreen riper" Says the man.
 "Windscreen wipers? I haven't  ordered windscreen wipers, now clear off! " And he slams the  door.
 Saturday morning arrives and Nelson is just sitting down  with his freedom coffee and the paper, when there's a knock at the  door.
 Again, standing in the doorway is the Japanese  man.
 Looking down at his clipboard he says "You take derivery of  600 spark prugs"
 "Now listen to me" screams a very irate Nelson. "I  don't know what's going on here, but let me make this perfectly  clear, I HAVEN'T 
ORDERED ANY F**KING CAR PARTS, NOW F**k  OFF!!"
 The bewildered Japanese man looks hard at his clipboard  and then says,
 "So you not Nissan Main  dealer?"


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03/07/2007

there is usually a chick involved!

By hairygoose
 
i spoke to julia last night, the girl that lives in my house in portugal, or rather, she spoke to me. she was furious that i had told her i intend to return in two weeks time. I had to ask the question ´am i allowed back into my own house´ she was having a complete egg.
 
at first i thought she was joking with me, i even laughed at her, but sudde nly it dawned on me that she was serious, saying the house was too small for both of us, she has paid rent, put her books out, painted the rooms etc.
 
it finished along the lines of , i was happy to share with her, if she has a problem sharing with me, then she needs to move on. The more i think about the conversation, the more confused i get. we spent months living together and nothing was a problem. I only charge her 100 euros a month and that includes her electricity too so maybe you can understand why i am so miffed.  I actually checked out some flights today to get over there and sort it out but i had calmed down a lot by this morning.
 
I called justin, the surf board maker who rents the annex. I asked if all was well at the house as her reaction to the whole situation really did shock me. I wondered if maybe she had turned it all into a hippy commune or something but he reassured me all was well.
 
i ownder if she has kept up to date with her rent too?
 
anyway, back to the main subject, chicks
 
the whole reason i am hanging out for a week or two here is to wait to see a chick i met from one of the boats. a very sweet american girl (fuck yeah!) and see what happens from there.
 
after that, its portugal until september when i have to leave for norway!
 
 
 
authors footnote  – i know its been a while but i have a real pearler for you today ….GROWING OLD IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL!!!
 
 

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01/07/2007

so let me bring you up to speed

By hairygoose
 
I jumped off of Yanneke Too on friday evening after a ‘brush’ with the skipper. The yachting industry is pretty awesome and sadly can still be filled with people that talk to you like you are a fool. so for the second time, i quit this boat! despite the skippers best appologies and attempts to keep me on, i always feel that once bitten twice shy is a good rule to live by.
 
Shame though, the owner asked me to stay on which i declined unless he had the apetite to bring the boat up to scratch. I told him i had no intention of staying and making quick patches on the boat. i suggested that he needs a three year plan with at least 4 months downtime each year to bring the boat up to speed. He agreed on the spot and included a 5 month lay over in florida next year. that, i would have enjoyed but i know i would have been constantly banging heads with the skipper about priorities and how a boat should be maintained.
 
it is wierd though, the things you find out after the event! since being back in palma, everyone that knows the boat is suggesting their surprise that i stayed as long as i did, and of course i was surprised to be told of the skippers coke habit but with hindsight, that would explain the irrational behaviour. so, yanneke too is no more. The day after i left, the first mate also resigned his position.
 
I have secured a role on Nariida starting in september. I have to join the boat in Norway and sail back to palma where the boat will be prepared for a race to the caribbean. I will deliver the boat to the canaries for the beginning of november and then have a little time off while the boat races the atlantic but i will also have to fly to the carribean for christmas to bring the boat back to palma. All that is left to do is agree a salary with the skipper but i am sure they will be fair with their offer.
 
so i have two weeks in palma to kill time before leaving for home and a two month surf holiday on my home beaches. i am looking forward to that, last time i was home, was for new year and in the company of the doctor!
 
sadly, i have no fuckwit observations to add at the moment, i have been working my ass off and not had time to watch anything or anyone. I am also uninspired to add my usual authors footnote but keep coming back. i am on the loose for the next two months, all hell is about to break loose.
 
 

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29/06/2007

holiday time

By hairygoose
 
ok, so i have finally decided to head home. i left Yanneke last night and am now back in palma.
 
i am due to join Nariida in september up in norway so figure now would be a good time to head home for a couple of months surf. so now , all i have to decide is when to leave, but certainly wont hang around any longer than two weeks.
 
i am looking foreward to surfing my local beaches again , onlñy problem will be tourists but that will be overcome with early starts and late finishes, so all should be peachy.
 
keep watching this space for news of the impending road trip and dates for my next stay in portugal.
 
be good for now

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27/06/2007

breathing space

By hairygoose
 
got a little time alnoe today so thought i would add a quick update.
 
the americas cup is officially boring as hell. it is one of those things that people do, purely so that they can brag about it at the top of their voice in their local bar.
 
yesterday we went out in a rough sea and took a couple of greenies over the bow. the first, ripped the dodger off of the hatch, the second, the chef was climbing out as it came over so we took in quite a lot of water, thankfully, she was heading back in when it hit.
 
the boat generally is in a bad way. i never get to sleep all through the night without at least one alarm to wake me up. i have been electricuted three times, cracked a rib while crawling into a very tight space, broken my little toe again and last night we managed to dump 1500 litres of water into the pump room!!!
 
the boss sat me down the other night and asked me if i would be interested in staying on. i told him no, unless he had the apetite to fix the boat up properly, and that would mean some serious downtime over the next three years. amazingly he agreed to do it and settled on a five month refit in florida starting in february. the thought of that did please me, i have always wanted to go to the states for a while, five months of it, all expenses paid, would suit me to a tee. only problem is, i know i will bang heads with the captain all of the time about how a boat of this size should be maintained. from all of the problems that keep me awake at night, i am sure he doesnt have the skills to do it.
 
then this morning, my favourite yacht, Nariida text me to say i have a job with them, starting september 5th in norway. sailing back to palma and then prep for a race to the caribbean. i am hoping to opt out of the race as i need time out but i will have to fly to the caribbean at christmas to bring the boat back to palma. after that, i have a full on job share with the resident engineer, 3 months on, 3 off , or something like that. details to be thrashed out this evening on the phone but i am not expecting to be dissapointed.
 
anyway
 
enough for now, i got some electricity to sort out, maybe one more electocution this afternoon
 
so my options are yet again awesome but sadly i wont get september off to spend in portugal.

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26/06/2007

all engineers are the same

By hairygoose
 An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess."
 He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
 The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
 The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
 The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess,  I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
 Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
 Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.  Why won’t you kiss me?"
 The engineer said, "Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool."
 

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24/06/2007

still alive

By hairygoose
 
sorry for the long absence but i have been so so busy.
 
we are currently still in november for the finals of the americas cup, once we have finished here, antibes will be our rest stop for two weeks.
 
the boat has been keeping me very busy as you can tell from my two week absence from my beloved page but i will update it with some cool stories and great photos when i make it to antibes so please dont desert me
 
i will be back

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09/06/2007

jealous yet ?

By hairygoose
 
 i reckon you might be
 
next week we are racing in the super yacht cup here in palma and as soon as we have won that, we are heading to Valencia for the Americas cup. After that, back to St Tropez and who knows where else.
 
it comes at a price though. currently working flat out 14 hours a day to get the boat ready. I am ready for sea trials but the deck boys have to finish their stuff still.
 
All being well, on tuesday we can sea trial then it will be a manic thrash to fix any other problems we encounter before we start racing at the weekend. its gonna be fun thats for sure.
 
the boat is great fun to be with. the skipper is a real character, an american dude, the stewie is also an american chick who bears an uncanny resemblance to fat pat, the chef is an aussie bird who is just plain funny, the first mate, another ozzie dude who is into sword fighting with a difference and lastly the deckie, a yarpie. of course, dont forget the best looking dude on the boat, the english gentleman and engineer, thats me folks!
 
anyway, the next week or so is going to be very busy so i doubt i will get back here for a while. all i can say is take care and if you see any of the racing on tv, keep an eye out for me , i will be there

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