Category Archives: Goose Freckles

27/06/2012

Lies, Captains and Engineers

By hairygoose

It struck me today, while I was trying to hammer a chisel in between the sea chest lid and the main sea chest body, that there are lies, damn lies, and yacht lies (I replaced that last bit – it should have read ‘statistics’ as my old mucker Barrie Woolford used to say).

Normally, It’s the captains that bullshit you, like ‘Secret Love’ – ‘yeah yeah old systems but in great order – just sailed through our 20 year survey’  – FUCK OFF!  or Kimberly II – ‘I keep my staff for a long time, because I am a good captain’ – which later transpired to ‘ I am a functioning alcoholic (his words not mine), and ‘ I am unaware the vessel is a masterpiece of festering Italian engineering which is likely to completely shit itself at a moments notice even though it is only 6 years old’.

Today, I realised my first case of ‘Engineers talk bollocks too’. Never in my life have I needed to chisel the lid off of a sea chest on a vessel that is still floating. I did begin to wonder when the lid was last removed and the filter cleaned.

In all honesty, that was a mild mishap.  I also looked at the sewage treatment system today.  The outgoing engineer admitted to using so much calcium hypochlroride that the whole boat smelled like the trenches of WWI.  The captain had told me about this experience too – the whole boat being consumed by chlorine gas at noxious levels.

Imagine – the 20 litre drum would need not much more than a table spoon of powder added to it, but today when I looked at it there was around half a kilo of the stuff still in the bottom of the drum.  I was amazed, I chuckled to myself, and also wondered how the old engineer had managed to mix this stuff, breathe in the fumes and still be alive to tell the tale.

Don’t even get me started on the two bilge pumps in the forepeak – both completely wanked out!  Now, here’s the fun part – when I asked if the boat was in good order before I joined, I was told ‘Yes!’.  I was even told that all of the pumps had been serviced too.  That is, until i noticed a leak on the toilet flush pump and asked why it was leaking. Of course that was ‘the only pump’ that he hadn’t got around to servicing yet.

Realistically though – am I bothered ???

No.  Salary in US dollars at a time when the euro is dodgy, a bunk longer than anything I have ever slept in before – and for a lanky twat, that is important, enough storage space for my dive gear and my new super lush mountain bike and on top of all of that, there is room too for a surf board if I do so please. Here’s the important bit – a captain that wants me to get on and deal with the engineering, he wants nothing to do with it so long as everything works.  I have my own credit card to buy shit with and a phone that the boat pays for so I am about as happy as a big filthy fat pig in a pile of freshy laid cow shit – I kid you not!

My biggest concern with going back to work was the fact that work may consume my life and I would not have the chance to exercise any more.  Ha!, well, it’s just not the case.  I still have the exact same exercise regime now as I did when I was ashore.  This clearly has to be good for my ability to return as lean as Willem Dafoe.

So impressed am I with all things good at the moment that on Thursday, I intend to push my long distance run out to 7 miles or maybe  a little more – time will tell.

And if that hasn’t pissed you all off – I am sitting here writing with a glass of chilled red wine that the boat has provided too.

As my sister has said on many many occasions ‘Wayne could fall into shit and come out smelling of roses!’

Shitty Roses

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24/06/2012

Newport Pagnell

By hairygoose

Well, not quite – Newport, Rhode Island, USA.  Pretty little place it is too, even the dogs on the streets are friendly, cars ready to stop at a milliseconds notice should a pedestrian get near to the kirb, and people say good mornng to strangers as they pass – now that, I really dig!

Was in the pub the other night playing pool with the rest of the crew when I had to take a shot that meant asking a chick to move off her chair.  I explained very politely that I was sorry and could I trouble her to move for a moment.  As she stood, I suggested that I better not miss this shot or I would have troubled her for nothing.  As I turned to cue up, I heard her friend ask ‘what did he say?’ to which she replied ‘I have no idea!’

You have to love the yanks!

Today was one of my most productive days for quite some time.  Managed a scuba this morning then in the afternoon managed to sort out my mobile phone and buy a new mountain bike.  Spent a few dollars on the bike too and picking it up tomorrow.  My theory was two fold.

1. the ‘cheap’ one I bought last year for 400 pounds has covered a little over 600 miles now and is about worn out, I am surprised it is still in one piece

2.Buying a more expensive bike means better build and longer life expectancy – also a dual susser to deal with my increased confidence and speed

So the new scoot punched a hole in two grand but it will also keep me amused, entertained and fit while I am on board.

Now, Newport is about to explode into a frenzy of yachtie activity.  Some bright spark decided to hold the America’s Cup here next week.  Thankfully, It looks like we will be away to Nantucket Island within a week so I wont have to suffer those yachtie twats for too long.  Todays dive instructor was one such of those twats, talked a very good deal which always leaves me wondering just how good he really was.  I hope he was better at sailing than he was at diving – piss poor indeed.

So tomorrow , the new beast is unleashed – I hope to break my high speed record sometime soon – but for now, check out the wheels and the specs on this mofo.

http://www.specialized.com/us/en/bikes/mountain/epic/epiccomp29

 

Thats about all for now – I expect that during tomorrows early morning walk I will meet some rather drunk monkeys on their way home after tonights festivities

 

 

 

 

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16/06/2012

Artful Dodger

By hairygoose

Re Re-wind

when the crowd says ‘Bo-selecta’

 

There you go, one of my more classy starts to a post.  I had to do it purely because the other arty types that create blog pages manage to create such poncey drivel in their headlines – I bet they sit for hours writing their blogs – me, I just fly in and out again a few moments later – sometimes, I even do it when I am pissed – this is not one of those times.

My first visit to Georgia, USA – funky place it is too – I think Hazard County is not far away because they all speak like Bo and Luke Duke – haven’t heard any Dixie horns yet but I did see a confederate flag flying on a boat the other night.

Working again is taking it’s toll on me.  Bear in mind it has been almost a year so I am very tired.  Certainly that last statement will draw little if any sympathy! I have almost managed to maintain my excercise regime too but tonight am flagging.  Tomorrow we head north to Newport and then finally onto Nantucket Island for a few weeks.  There is still talk of Canada and even an Alaskan trip – but I won’t hold my breath just yet.

Thats it for now, I am tired and I want to go to bed.

 

 

 

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31/05/2012

Whole lotta Rosie

By hairygoose

Looks like rain today, and today is also a running day. I like running in the rain, almost as much as I like running in a thunder storm so could plug a new personal best in this evening.  Last day of the month too so will also be setting my best month ever after a super hero start in Florida earlier this month.

Back to the States again next month.  Accepted a job on a sailing boat that is sailing the east coast for the summer and maybe even the northwestern passages too before heading to the Caribbean for the winter.  Getting paid in US dollars  – the implications of this may be wasted on you lot !  Normally with yachts its euro but I am convinced the value of the euro is about to dive dive dive – so 18 months on the dollar will suit me just fine.  Speaking of dive dive dive, my salary request for the new build in Holland with it’s own submarine was a bit rich for the multi millionaire owner (but the owner of a 10 year old sailing boat can afford me!). They also took so long to come back to me that I had accepted an offer elsewhere.  Now here’s the thing, you are that multi millionaire owner and you are trying to get an engineer on the cheap.  The engineer on board any vessel is your best line of defense for safety and also to protect your investment (I would estimate for this one, around 45million euros), better still, you’re training your engineer to drive your submarine and also maintain it – now, would you want me in there at 100metres below the surface knowing it was meticulously maintained or would you want some giri that you got on the cheap?

Enough boat talk – I will be stateside again from 13th June – sadly this may mean I will miss two summer weddings which I was really looking forward to.

So, AC/DC.  For some reason, I was thinking about Brian Johnson the other day and punched them into youtube. I watched them on their live performances and felt a little sad.  Sad because we are loosing entertaining acts like that to talentless wank stains the likes of which are churned out in droves by modern media and rich record producers. Of course it will go full circle.  If you are old enough to remember punk, it rose out of a platform of disco and new romantics.  Better still, think back to when the big hair of the 80’s turned into the 90’s and Liam and Keith hit the stage (The Prodigy) – it was a rave sensation – trip to trumpton? suit you sir!

Anyway – here’s a link to whole lotta rosie – turn it up and remember to shout ‘ANGUS’ at the right time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0ZCdBJRuH8

She’s a whole lotta woman – all 19 stones of her!

Last night was a bike night so I headed into the forest again on the outskirts of Brussels.  Why is it that the best tracks to ride are the ones that they ban bikes from ? And I can’t claim language barrier either because they use simple signs. Regardless of them, I rode them anyway – for the second time, and would you Adam and Eve it – not a single person out walking, thats twice now.  How about walkers loose their access rights if they don’t use the paths? Knowing I am breaking the law makes me cycle faster anyway, it’s just that naughtiness in me – I can’t resist.

I also found a track that wasn’t labelled or listed so took it – it was almost free riding until I happened upon a fella looking very guilty all alone in the bushes (thankfully there, i refrained from using the phrase ‘came across’). I wonder what was going on there.  The woods are huge out here and I have only managed to explore the northwestern tip of them. Lack of phone signal meant that google maps didn’t work so I had to navigate my return using only the sun as my position indicator – and guess what?  For the first time ever, I found the correct exit to ‘Avenue Louise’. This of course caused more confusion than I expected.  I had never hit ‘Lousie’ directly before so the road looked unfamiliar and the junctions confused me.

Let me tell you though – driving in Brussels is a real shit fight, there seem to be no rules, and even when there are, they can change without notice so it is a real challenge.  Get on your mountain bike and it is a different kettle of fish altogether. Suddenly these dick head drivers grow extra eyes and know you are there.  As I approach red lights at speed – you should see them panic – will I continue out and they will have to avoid me, or will I stop? Have to admit, I normally do as much as I can to piss them off when I am on my bike, when I am in the car it is the most frustrating time ever – and remember, I have spent much time in Portugal and Spain.

To finish off, let me say that I did finally get ‘that shot’.  I am of course referring to Cawston Spinney and all of its glorious bluebells! Now, feel free to call me a flowery twat, but I do very much like all that nature has to offer, and bluebells in the woods just amaze me.  Better still, fields of rape, catch them at the right time as they are changing from violet to yellow and it can be spectacular to watch the field change colour day by day – this photo still eludes me, but it will come eventually.

I have uploaded some photos from last weeks trip to England – be sure to have a look, there are 4 ‘that shot’ photos, I struggle to decide which is best. I called it ‘Cawston Spinney’.

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22/05/2012

Where is the work ?

By hairygoose

Firmly back in Belgium until the morning, after a monster week of road trips.  Last Saturday night I left Brussels and headed to Imperia in Italy, crossing Belgium, Luxembourg, France, Switzerland and finally popping out in the Italian Alps.

One thing crossed my mind – Luxembourg, what is the collective name for its people?  I mean, France has french people, Portugal has portuguese, Spain spanish etc – but what about Luxembourg???

I saw a couple of jobs in Imperia and have since turned them both down, one not paying enough with a captain I was suspicious about, the other, just not ringing my bell – it felt like a compromise, and I rarely do that ! So I am still looking.  The submarine job is playing the delay tactic, which kind of makes me feel like they are holding me to randsom, something I rarely tolerate.  Unfortunately for them, I hav e had several contacts today from other dutch builds, two of them sail boats so their games may well backfire.

So the trip to Imperia was a massive 700 miles, punctuated by 2 interviews before I began the next leg of my journey from Imperia to Sagres, crossing Italy, France, Spain and of course Portugal, another 1270 miles.

Finally in Sagres, I got to take a little time out, surfed a bit, went for a scuba, drank cheaply and ate cheaply before heading back to Brussels on saturday morning – another 1500 miles.

Now, I know the british public poo poo anything british in favour of foreign muck, but my trusty 2002 Rover 75 Estate has munched those miles up with ease, almost 3000 of them in a week, cruise control on, air con on and I was in bliss.  I even got flashed by a camera in France.

I know she is getting old now but she just goes and goes – almost 180,000 miles on her now, a few rattles and shakes but nothing serious, which is a good thing because tomorrow she is heading back to blighty once more, in search of LED televisions at sensible prices, with my mountain bike hooked on the back.

I hope to razz some of the local country tracks again with Mr. B and Yates in tow – I wonder how they have been keeping up with their fitness?

 

Maybe next time – I will have something interesting to write

 

 

 

 

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06/05/2012

Cinco de Mayo

By hairygoose

So, for those that haven’t kept up, I am leaving the States on Monday and heading back to Belgium.  On Thursday, I have an interview for what I am billing as ‘the best job ever!’

A new build motor yacht that is currently being fitted out, aiming for launch in November 2012.   A big hefty thing, right on the edge of my licence limits,  and on the job description, ‘maintenance of the submarine’. Yep, this private yacht has its own 3 man submarine on the back deck – any you will never guess what colour the sub is???

Yellow of course – I am expecting to find Sir Paul at the helm too!

Being based in Europe until the end of the year has huge bonuses for me – needless to say, I WANT THIS JOB!

Always a surprise when you get a notification on runkeeper that you have set a new weekly best for a certain discipline.  On Thursday, after my run, my notification told me that I had achieved a new weekly best mileage record. I was of course very pleased.  Last night, I pumped in a quick mile and a half and was expecting another congratulations but sadly nothing.  Tonight, I pounded for another 5 miles and blow me, if i didnt get a new ‘monthly best mileage’ notification.  Aparently I have set a new record for a month of running – 19 ish miles so far this month, and that my friends is a new monthly best – AND I AM ONLY 5 DAYS INTO THE MONTH !!!!  So either all of my other months so far have been piss poor or this month has been spectacularly good.

I did find a nice little 5 mile loop to walk first thing in the mornings, then on Tuesday of this week it thought to myself ‘fuck it – I’m gonna run those 5 miles tonight’ – and I did, and again on thursday and again tonight, and I am actually surprised that I don’t ache at all – well maybe a tinsy winsy little bit, but nothing like I was expecting.  I have been fannying around with mile and a half or maybe a two mile run and feeling the pain, wondering if I will ever get back to where I was in 2004 before I left England.  Back then, I was running around a total of 25 miles a week – so right now, that seems within reach again, even though I am 8 years older ! I had hit a pain barrier/fitness barrier/mental block and it would appear that the only way to deal with that is to pass it, not by a gnats whisker either, you gotta blitz it – focus through the pain and don’t worry if passers by hear you swearing at yourself to keep you going. The single most surprising point to mention here is that I haven’t shit my pants yet either – for the serious runners amongst you, getting the poo stations right is a serious thing, as serious as eating nutritious food. I remember well, banging on my grandma’s front door in urgent need of a turbo dump at only 1 mile into my run – I remember even more clearly after a 6 miler, making it to my front door, butt cheeks clenched, key left in the lock as I flung the door open and began to take the stairs 2 at a time, so urgent was my need to get on the pan.  Sadly, the 2 steps at a time splits meant that I could no longer clench my butt cheeks and I very quickly filled my running tights with what was a ‘far from solid’ stool, jumped straight into the shower, peeled my tights down and hosed them out !! There litterally was shit everywhere !

Running is more addictive than crack cocaine – don’t ever start !

Sadly for me, what was America’s best ever export ‘The Beastie Boys’ are no more. The death of one Adam Yauch has put an end to that. These guys I admired for many years, not just for their music but their videos too – they always seem like they are having shit loads of fun, a bit like The Foo Fighters or better still, Ant and Dec when they used to do CDTV live on a saturday morning. I remember in the 80’s when they appeared on ‘Top of the Pops’ with those VW bonnet badges around their necks, then for the next few weeks, there wasn’t a Volkswagen in the country that hadn’t had it’s badge pried off with a screw driver! I was scouting through my music library earlier looking at what I had of theirs – I never realised but I have 9 albums by the Beastie Boys, that is 1 more than the mighty Foo’s – best of all, I think there are 3 that I don’t have !!!  I will of course be wondering for many years what kind of tunes they would have been churning out, in the same vein that I wonder what kind of music Cobain would have been playing – and of couse, what would the mighty John Peel make of it all ?

I leave you with 3 links to youtube videos of the Beasties – my 3 favourite videos they ever made.  Do me a favour, turn up the volume, click the link and at the same time start recording with your web cam – do your best ‘gangsta’ moves and send me the video……….but most importantly, just enjoy acting the fool for a few minutes – life is so preciously short !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqTfTsZVPMM&ob=av2e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYpzWRk7E9I

and saving the best until last

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE&ob=av2e

 

Choose life mofo’s!

 

 

 

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24/04/2012

Sint Maarten

By hairygoose

It never gets any better – this Island is a shit hole, quite why it gets so much attention is beyond me, just a sess pit for over indulgent yachties to hang out in.  Anyway, enough of that – I got here hoping to join a new boat for a couple of seasons but by lunch time on day 1, I knew it wasn’t for me.  You know that feeling when your gut instinct is to get as far away as possible ?  Well this time my gut was rumbling loud so by mid afternoon I had told the skipper that it wasn’t for me.

I tried not to feel sorry for him, last time I felt sorry for a skipper, I ended up staying on for 7 months of emotional hell – but experience makes you wiser, and my license now means I can be more choosey.  So, out of guilt, I have agreed to do the trip to Fort Lauderdale and then to stay on for 7 days while he finds someone new, that should be ok and not too hard for me to take on.

Then, I can head back to Europe and start my search once more – this time, firmly sticking to my previous self promises of not taking on a boat until I have seen it first.

On a lighter note – me and the bird have decided to co-habitate. I found a nice little pad in Brussels, while she fretted about my dealings and stubborness to take on the first few that she looked at – it was jolly good fun I might add, sourcing out a place that is in better condition than something very similar and 10 doors down the road and then beating the price down too – so instead of paying 1950€ per month, we got a beauty for just 1700€ per month – I reckon thats around a 12% saving – not too shabby in this day and age.

Enough for now, have to get ready for a 9am bridge tomorrow

Keep it real homies

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05/04/2012

It comes with age

By hairygoose

Yesterday morning whilst out walking I felt the urgent need to poo.  Problem was, I was already 2 miles into my walk and had a dilemma. Should I now take the shortest route back to the house or continue with my planned route hoping I could successfully hold the poo?

As a kid, we regularly had competitions to see who could hold a poo for the longest, and as kids, we seemed to do much better, 4 or 5 days at a time was not unusual – or that’s what I seem to remember.  Midway through my life ( I guess that’s about where I am at 42) I seem to be able to hold a poo for  a significantly shorter period of time, sometimes an hour or two can seem an impossibility.  This of course worries me greatly because in another 30 years or so, at the same rate of deterioration, by the time I have thought that I need a poo, it will already be rolling down my trouser leg to the floor, which might lead to some very embarrassing moments at the Post Office counter, or in the bakers shop, or worse still, Crown Court as a Juror ! ‘Permission to be excused m’lord – I just shat on the floor’!

I digress!

I opted for the shortest route back but that was still a mile and a half.  With a good pace on it is harder to hold a poo but at a slower pace, it would take me longer to get back – it was a serious dilemma.  It was still before 7am so I did consider a quick squat in a bush, no-one was around to see me, I could get away with it if I really had to.  I let the pressure off as much as possible by farting when I felt brave and clenching when not so brave.

I was by now creating a picture in my mind, and this is something we have all done I promise – getting back to the house, 100 yards out, belt loosened, trousers unbuttoned, door key out at the ready, not even shutting the front door behind me, getting to the bowl, dropping my pants and lifting the seat in unison and before seated, letting rip!  What if I got all that right and fumbled the seat?  It could all end in a shitty disaster.

And it gets worse – as you think about that picture, the need to poo becomes more intense – now it’s in mind games territory.  Don’t think about the build up of pressure and it will subside, think about it and you will be filling your pants a mile too early and then have to squelch the next mile hoping you don’t bump into anyone you know – now that would be a serious walk of shame, more serious than the morning after with a ‘Nora’!

Disappointingly for my readers – a mile into the remaining trip, I got it all under control and made it back in a timely fashion.  I was so moved by the whole experience, I thought I should share it with you.

 

On a more springtime note – what is with the weather?  It snowed yesterday and almost got down to freezing point!  I am expecting to be greeted with a Spinney full of bluebells one morning soon, so I may have to take my camera out with me – there is something hugely pleasing about walking through the woods with a carpet of bluebells

 

 

 

 

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25/03/2012

Snow In Your Beard

By hairygoose

Don’t get confused with the classic ‘Informer’ from the early 90’s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqCI6QGVHIk&feature=related

But yesterday, I realised I had quite a few areas of snow in my beard.  Now, having snow on top would normally mean a man is turning into a man of distinction but snow in your beard with no snow on top must relate to some form of alpine ecstasy.  Better still, there are the obvious red extrusions too – a rampant revelation of multi coloured swap shop – Noel Edmonds would be so proud on many levels.

Enough nonsense.  I have been sitting in Southampton for a few days now – Oral exams looming tomorrow.  Being a brave sort, I decided to head deep into the city for the weekend, not my usual habitat for sure.  Always good though, to brush up on observation skills.  I also needed to buy a new suit for tomorrows melee into the MCA offices down here.

For the more connected with me, you will be fully aware of my recent change in regime and subsequent weight loss.  I say subsequent when really I mean substantial.  Hitting the dizzy heights of 18 1/2 stones late last year (around 116kgs to Europeans) and a lardy waist size of 40″ I decided enough as enough.  So in the last 6 months I have shed a little over 3 stone (20 kilos) and now sit more content at under 15 1/2 stones or under 98 kilos.  The real killer is the waist band has now dropped to 36″ – So I am on good form.  The best of it all is that I am, and always was fully aware of why people get fat and how to fight it.

So having purchased a new 36″ waist suit trouser and matched it up with a rather larger 46″ chest jacket (the standard drop is 6″ from chest to waist size) I went off to find McDonald’s and something that I haven’t eaten for a long long time, the breakfast muffin (calm down ladies!)

It does taste good, no doubt, but also not in doubt is that it is full of shit!  How else can anything so cheap taste good ?  It’s not through care, love and attention that a quality chef might add to your meal.  I sat eating my ‘treat’ and began to observe.

I wondered – McDonald’s have recently started showing the calorie content of anything you can order – it does seem to do little to put off the calorific challenged that seem to grace their doors on a daily basis. So I wondered, how about instead of the calorie value next to each item, why not put the average weight and IQ of the people who generally order those items – that might begin to scare people away to something healthier.  I watched people using the escalator up to the McDonald’s bar when clearly they needed the exercise of walking up stairs – better still, when you are already massively overweight, how about you avoid the place altogether?

I also realised that my recent trip would have adversely affected the weight/IQ display on their menu boards so agreed not to return for some time.  Before leaving, something hit me and it wasn’t the fat chick behind me as she squeezed her massive bulk into the chair behind. McDonald’s is actually a sociably responsible business.  They serve these breakfast muffins up until 10.30.  I had arrived just before 10am. Between 10:15 & 10:30 there was a noticeable incoming rush of clients, hot and sweaty from their clamber to get there before breakfast finished.  So not only does it get youngsters out of bed nice and early at the weekend, it also helps raise their heartbeat as they race to get out of bed at the last possible minute and still make it to the counter in time to order 4 double egg McMuffins, 2 hash browns a McFlurry and of course the inevitable diet coke.

Now, let me have a rant.  For someone with an American for a girlfriend, you might mistakenly think I have a little more tolerance to the youth of today using the bastardised american version of our beautiful english language.  NO NO NO NO NO!  I would love to have a job in McDonald’s.  When one of these fashion overloaded wankers walked up to my counter and said ‘ Can I get a big mac?’ – I would simply respond ‘No, I will get it for you – what would you like?’.  Clearly they would have no idea what was going on, being far too thick to appreciate or understand the correction.  Of course, I wouldn’t serve them until they had used the correct english or I had punched them in the face and been dragged away by security. It’s like that scrawny little twat on Radio 1 – Scott Mills – how no-one has punched the shit out of him yet is beyond me.  I strongly suspect two things, he had very strong arms as a baby – to have climbed out of the abortion bucket and lastly and quite rightly too – he was bullied at school.  Speak English you pricks!

Rant over – it was a good one too I feel

While I was on a treat day (or was too early to check in to my hotel) I also graced Burger King.  It is indeed my favourite of all the fast shite outlets – simply because it does just taste better like their adverts suggest.  It was here too that I began observations once more.  Lots of local football shirts were out so I guessed that Southampton were playing at home.  In the corner of  Burger King were what was, I assume, a father and son, both in their teams’ shirt, having a bite before the match.  I couldn’t help notice the fathers posture as he sat eating.  The expression ‘slumped like a sack of spuds’ was made for this chap.  While slumped in his chair, his man boobs (moobs) were resting atop his beer belly while he frantically crammed a large portion of fries into his mouth.  I do wonder heavily about this – but as adults, should we be taking kids to these food outlets as ‘treats’?  Be good at something and we will reward it quite literally with shite.

I left deep in thought about the overall plight of the human race.  It has been said for a long time that the human race will eventually destroy itself – that it will, assuming that it doesn’t get too fat to get out of its chair to start the Apocalypse in the first place.

Good, well I am glad that is over with.  I should have warned you all to make a cup of tea before you started reading.

Wish me luck with my endeavors

 

 

 

 

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12/03/2012

Proving the Doctor wrong – Absolutely Priceless !

By hairygoose

A few months ago I was tested for the dreaded colestorol – it’s an age thing, much like old men that stare into holes dug at the side of the road.

Doctor was quite worried, saying my LDL and HDL levels were too wide apart – the ratio was bad, and my LDH was a little high. So she quickly whipped out her prescription pad and wrote me out a drug form.  I told her that I would rather change my diet than take the drugs but she told me that I would now be taking these drugs for the rest of my life.

Today I returned a couple of months after her first assessment.  She asked me what was happening with the drugs and had I bought more.  I told her that I had never taken them and then asked for my colestorol results.

She looked at me and said ‘ You have done very well’.  LDL down, HDL up and the ‘lipids ratio’ is now good.  It must have hurt her.  So she said, we are all good then?  No I said, I still have the chest pain.  Don’t worry she said, we have checked your heart and colestorol and all is good so it’s nothing important!

WHAT ? – Nothing Important ??  Maybe not to you sweetheart, but to me, it’s not nothing to worry about until I know exactly what it is.  So tomorrow I will make an appointment for a second opinion with a different doctor.

On a lighter note – I have decided to try the self employed route this year.  Website is up and running, business cards printed and T shirts made.  I am just about to turn down my first offer of 5 months employment to see what I cn do elsewhere

Final exams on Monday 26th March

 

Wish me luck mofo’s

 

 

 

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