Author Archives: hairygoose

08/02/2006

what did you do today?

By hairygoose
me, i found myself working in a space so small, when i took deep breaths my ribs expanded and touched an engine on one side and a generator on another – and to add to my pain, my chin was resting on my knees!
 
was a harsh day but the ride to work was gorgeous.
 
the ride to work is about 10 km and takes just over 20 minutes door to door. as i leave my flat, it is all down hill. the first up hill is very gentle and then drops into another big downhill into the next town.
 
The coastroad does this through two more villages until you run down the final hill into palma itself. Once in palma it is completely flat.
 
In the morning, before 8, the city is still to come alive, there are a few joggers, some other people out on their bikes heading to work and of course the early birds that just want to walk.
 
Riding along the prom is goreous, the open harbour and sea beyond, the yachts and cruisers worth millions, gently bobbing in the tiny swell, clear blue skies and the sun !!!
 
The ride home is equally as seductive until you get back to the hills.  On the way home, there are more uphills than down and you are also tired from your day of work, climbing ladders, up and down decks – scaffolding you name it. Tonight, i was too wiped out to make it without walking so had to walk the two last hills – can you believve that ?
 
tomorrow if i get home at a good time , i am taking the longboard to the beach for a paddle.  I realise i might look like an ass as there will be no swell but i have to get some arm excercise or when there is swell, i will have no strength at all.
 
One thing that is wierd to see, the tree lined avenues that have orange trees! in england you never expect to see an orange tree, i always imagined orange trees to be on a sort of órange tree farm´ but here, they line the side roads.
 
anyway, last night i slept like a baby – the first time in over a week. with my cold, i had to stop running and that left me with far too much energy to sleep for more than two hours at a time.
 
i think tomorrow is thursday? i am not sure.
 
lets try something new for the weekend.
 
if i dont know you – text me to say so +34 697 390 527 just make sure that your text says ´you dont know me but……………´  do it now

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06/02/2006

Do me a favour

By hairygoose
getting some good hits at the moment on my site and always like to read your comments when you can be arsed to leave them – but if you are anonymous – no-one knows who you are . i realise that might be the idea but then i have no idea who i am talking to – and i HATE that…….please please please please please tell us who you are.
 
anyway – added three new photo albums tonight so go and have a look at them all – i promise you will like them, and if anyone thinks i am too old to be skate boarding at my age – BITE ME!!!!  You will see a beauty ´toes on the nose´ride – oh yes.
 
the young lady that wiped out also managed to break her hand into the bargain – i take my hat off to her though – she never cried whimpered or bitched – she is a toughie – first time on a skateboard for her, and something tells me it might be the last too.
 
i am running out of time tonight so wont be able to write as much as i would have liked. got here late due to cycling to work and back today , then being mesmerised by anne robinson on the weakest link – dudes, that chick is hot!!!  i know i am bias, i know i like red heads – but man, she really has got it going on for an old chick.
 
anyway – max, i know you will be peeing in your pants at that – but remember – you are the oldest chick i have ever been out with !!!!
 
so what else, no surf so this weekend i am going to take the longboard for a paddle on my own beach. maybe paddle out to my island then drop off the side with my snorkel and see what i can find – that sounds heavenly but the water is very cold still.
 
tomorrow i can run again, my little legs were too tired tonight after i cycled to work and back today – a measly 20 kms. Palma looks good from a bicycle – apart from the old twat in the mercedes who turned across the cycle path to park without looking – good brakes on my bike – good job too.
 
anyway, i am back on ciderella now and probably for most of the week. re-plumbing an exit valve in the engine room.  this will make me swear a whole lot i promise.
 
I will be back by wednesday with more photos and stries, if you stop by, leave a message and tell me who you are.
 
until then
 
 
be good

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04/02/2006

having a saturday bitch!!!

By hairygoose
ok, let me get some stuff off my chest – firstly muslims!
 
i see they are kicking up stink about some danish cartoon – a cartoon, not real life. So they are not happy about this cartoon?
 
Personally, i was a little pissed off when two planes hit the world trade centre twin towers, i was also a little pissed when bombs exploded in the london underground, i was more than a little pissed off when i watched western hostages having their heads cut off with nothing more than a blunt bread knife on the internet.
 
So please, let me appologise on behalf of the danish paper that published that CARTOON. I am very very sorry.
 
 
The French
 
Love them or hate them?  i do both!  when they block their ports with trucks and our brit truckers are caught up in it – i hate them. I adore the way they have the arrogance to hold two fingers up to the rest of europe and the world when they want to do something that every one tells them that they shouldnt. I have two examples, the first, obviously the fact that they re-published the offending cartoons, no doubt with the accompanying head line ‘Le Bollocks’ and also cast your mind back to a few years ago when illegal imigrants were escaping from songatt detention centre in france and crossing the channel tunnel.  The brits asked the french government to move the camp away from the tunnel entrance – the french responded yes, if you pay for it – their reasoning was that if england wasnt such a soft touch , immigrants wouldnt want to go there !!!!  i know you all agree with that statement – and so did the government, they stumped up 12 million quid for the pleasure of moving a french detention centre!
 
lets not forget french women – all european women are very very sexy but the french women have that little bit more. when they speak in french i could just die, when they speak in broken english – i have to take a cold shower.
 
 
CD cases
 
we all own them and we all have exactly the same problem…………you get one that seems to stick shut. As you fiddle with it, you work it loose and it opens with a snap. Yep, that little snap was the hinge lug breaking off so that now the cover never stays on. OK it never jams again either but i am more than a little miffed to say that we can put man on the moon, measure a cars average speed over a mile and process a speeding ticket in seconds, complete open heart surgery, brain surgery all sorts of stuff but a simple plastic case that must cost all of 50 pence to make – not a chance mate!!!
 
French Cars
 
I love em – mike hates them – enough said!!
 
ok, my bitching is over.
 
tonight we are hitting the town – palma mallorca is going to be graced with my buff and studly good looks.  It has of course been well over three months since i last had sex – way back in october last year so i might be forgiven for going out on the pull tonight – however – instead, armed with my new digitial camera, i hope to catch some cool shots for the site. so dont forget to come back on monday for an update.
 
I am off now to look at the photos of portugal on my page – i am very very home sick!

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04/02/2006

just a quick joke – it made me chuckle

By hairygoose
Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman talking about how stupid their wives are-
 
Englishman says "my wife bought a car and she can’t drive"
 
Scotsman says "my wife bought a swimming pool and she can’t even swim"
 
Irishman says "you think they’re stupid well my wife went on holiday to greece with 50 condoms and she hasn’t got a cock"

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01/02/2006

multi – lingual

By hairygoose
so, my new work buddies are teaching me how to speak many new languages.
 
Ryan teaches me how to talk like a south african, paddy – like an irishman of course, Kade helps me to be native in Oz.  I am sure next time i speak to any of you – you will not recognise my voice.
 
I would also like to thank you for your massive response to my requests for text messages – i got a whopping 2 – yes 2 messages, one from cornwall and one from norway – thanks to faggot and carl oliver for those!
 
to answer your question carl, the melv craving lies dormant – one day i WILL get to the bottom of it and no doubt have polaroids to prove it.
 
The eagle eyed amongst you will have noticed the change of my page name from Algarve Surf to The November Archives.
 
well today i was thinking and talking about my sexy ex girlfriend, Sandra.  You will find that very hateful e mail in my november archives on the bottom left of this page so feel free to take a look and have a chuckle at my expense.
 
While i was describing her to Ryan today , he asked why i dumped her, she sounds perfect.  I guess she was very sweet but sometimes your nerves get the better of you. Well in my case – my nerves always get the better of me.
 
as a treat tonight after work i went to the local shopping mall – Porto Pi – it was an absolute babe fest – i actually got scared and ran away.
 
Oh well – enough for now, dont forget to read my november archives to see just how spitefull women can be
 

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30/01/2006

Cinderella finally falls!!!

By hairygoose
oh yes, just six days to remove a rudder – the cause, poor or faulty maltese workmanship.  Had the rudder removed two years ago in malta and they refitted it with a faulty seal. Imagine how two years on sea water can corrode a set of stainless steel bearings.  well it took me six days to get the bugger out!
 
For all those that say there is no surf on the med – read on.
 
saturday saw a nice metre and a half swell hit Cala Major. I headed out with mike for a try. the water was absolutely freezing and the wave was good for a shortboard or body board – sadly – i had neither. Managed to catch just one wave and completely cocked that one up, dragged backwards towards the beach with my fingertips dragging in the sandy sea bed looking for grip to get out of the wash. After less than one hour i was frozen solid – not a good idea as i was suffering from a cold, and still am.
 
tonight a massive swell is predicted for the north coast – a whopping four to four and a half metres – way too big for me. Mike offered me the day off but with that size and me still suffering with a cold , i dont see much point in going.
 
Driving in the rain here is always fun. there is about as much grip as you would find on a slushy road in england. So on saturday when i was making my way out to mikes place to lay some laminate floors for him, i thought i would have a bit of fun. all was well, my feeling for the conditions was spot on – until the last bend before mikes pad. I read the corner completely wrong and had too much speed as the bend tightened to the right sharply. I turned, but nothing, the wheels just slid straight foreward. I braked but no ABS and the wheels locked, i re applied the brakes and steered straight – heading for the bus stop/lay by on the opposite side of the road. Managed to scrub off the speed and get control back and turn out of the layby just before hitting the curb……made the heart race a little bit i can tell you – and of course i was thanking my lucky stars that there was nothing coming the other way.  Wierd thing is – Murdo had warned me about this bend the week before – sometimes i can be a complete dumbass.
 
Talking of rain – it has pissed me off a little bit. I always like running in the rain, which doesnt happen very often when you live in this part of the world.  Running in the rain has always been a little `sexy`for me. i cant explain why, maybe that scene from nine and a half weeks, in the alley way, who knows.  What i do know is that if Kylie knocked on my door, arm in arm with Dido and Anne Robinson offering me a magical foursome while it was raining, i would have to shout – Ói, kylie – NO!  not while it´s raining babe´.  Put your pinny on and do my dishes – I´ll be back in half an hour darling!
 
Tomorrow, the forecast is for a 45 knot wind. Today the boat yard people came round checking all of the boats that were out of the water on blocks!!!!  Fair guess is that i will be absolutely crapping myself tomorrow while i am working 30 feet in the air on a yacht propped up with some old dead trees!
 
Oh, by the way mom – the money arrived in my account today – two days, just like the girl promised!  if that had been in a portuguese bank, they would have thought about it for more than two days before actually doing anything about it!  Viva espanha!! The girl is very cute too – i might ask her to lunch one day soon.
 
Truth be known – i am missing portugal.  Mallorca is very beautiful, rich and clean – maybe they are the exact three reasons why i dont feel at home – te he hee.
 
I rented my house out to one of my german friends who also happens to have a very famous uncle. The football fans amongst you will no doubt remember Frans beckenbauer? well his niece Julia is staying in my place – that is almost a claim to fame for me.
 
I see the lotto is going mental this week. I had a small win last weekend so have played all of my winnings this week for the big one.  It is hard to imagine what you might do with that sort of money but i guess i would keep working.
 
YEAH RIGHT – KISS MY HAIRY ASS!!!!!
 
 Imagine that – over 5 million a year in interest alone – it is hard to believe really.  I bet some drug dealing, rapist wins it – life can be cruel at times.
 
ok guys – thats enough for now.
 
if you feel the need to text me a joke – do it, or just text to say you read my page and tell me what you think about it – i dont get many texts here in mallorca (sob sob sob). my number is +34 6973 90527
 
a few of you tell me you enjoy the read so let me know.
 
welcome back to the lucious Lisa Melvin who also admitted to me last week that she is an avid reader of this page. Turns out she is still single – and i am in the wrong country – my timing was always off!!!
 
anyway – i have to leave soon, this place closes at 9pm ( we are an hour ahead of the uk) and they charge me five bucks an hour for the privelage.
 
spread some love boys and girls
 
wayne

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27/01/2006

sick at the moment

By hairygoose
but will add more this weekend – keep watching

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21/01/2006

spending a day on top of cinderella

By hairygoose
no perverts – not in that way!!!!
 
cinderella is a yacht – cinderella II actually – a 100ft monster! tall as well. from ground level to deck was thirty feet in the air – the ladder was only just long enough to reach, and very shakey.
 
I never really thought i would be scared of working at height but this one did un-nerve me for a while. the only safety rig was the wire around the ships deck, not much good for me as it only came halfway up my thigh.
 
Of course it was shoes off again while we cleaned and fitted two reconditioned winches to her decks but then the next chore was to remove the rudder.
 
Before we did this, it was my first job to cover and protect the decks where we would walk, with ply wood.  the harbour boys were building a staircase for the boat but it looked like i would have to go back down the ladder before they were finished – not a thought i was relishing, stepping over the wire, finding the ladder below, and then stepping down until my hands could reach the sides of the ladder below, the whol ebloody thing wobbling like a jelly!
 
by the time i had the ply, the stairs were built, the sun was out and i was ready to start covering the decks. By now, i was much more confident walking on the decks without shuffling along or constantly looking for something to hold on to. The weather was good so it was shirt off. Armed with a tape measure, stanley knife, adhesive tape and three boards of marine ply – i beavered away.
 
when it was covered, i lowered myself over the stern and into the `garage`with murdo and mike who had already started dismantling the steering and autopilot quadrants.
 
It was a four man operation and we lowered both to the floor but we were finished by four pm.
 
packed up the tools and headed out of the yard to get ready for the harbour fireworks later that night.

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21/01/2006

mallorca update

By hairygoose
let me tell you all about my week – in no particular order, just the order i remember them while i am at the pc.
 
Last night i was invited out to Palma for the San Sebastian festival – a mega show of fireworks in the harbour. But i didnt have to stand on the quayside with all of the commoners!!!!  i had been invited along with 40 other very lucky people out into the bay on a converted fishing trawler.
 
we started with a drink in the harbour bar, followed by a short car ride to the quay.  Our boat for the evening was moored at the end of the quay, glistening white in the dusk light.  Steve, the owner and captain is south african, there are tons of them out here – escaping what they describe to me as a very vicious fatherland.
 
I boarded the boat and took my position in the bow (thats the front to you non sea farers). i sat on the edge of the boat chatting with a few of my new friends until finally the ropes were released, the engines fired and the gear engaged.
 
As we pushed off, the stereo kicked in and i was treated to a full hour of Pearl Jam as we bobbed gently away from our mooring, the tune, of course, perfectly selected ´Black´made  a chilling start to the evening.
 
I sat on the front of the boat like a figurehead – but facing the wrong way, admiring the evening of Palma Mallorca.  I imagine this is where people come that can´t afford to go to monaco.  there are thousands of boats here, probably 75% of them costing in excess of 1 million euros but around 50% of them costing much more than that – a small handfull that would cost as much as buying your own planet in outer space – with running costs similar!
 
the evening was chilly but no wind, i looked across the bay of palma, looking at the apartments, the castle on top of the hill, the cathedral, the boats, the yachts, all lit in warm orange lights.  the other boats bobbing around in the harbour with their red and green navigation lights on.
 
we were treated to home made chilli con carne from the kitchen and shortly afterwards the fireworks started.
 
Three single solitary and spaced out bangs.  I thought that  they were a bit crap until Rick next to me said that they were just the warning shots!!!!!!
 
For the next 40 minutes i was completely in awe of what was without a doubt the biggest and best firework extravaganza in my whole life – someone told me the display cost 250,000euros but i think that was a serious under estimate, the sky was full of silver, blue, green, red, orange and purples for a full 40 minutes.
 
Of course, when the fireworks had finished, the ships started with their horns – almost as deafening as the fireworks.  As i looked around the harbour i noticed to my right, a sea of red navigation lights and to my left a sea of green nav lights. it was a first for me!  lucky man!!
 
the captain took us for a quick spin out to sea and back again to allow time for traffic to clear from the town – perfect!

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18/01/2006

Magaluf

By hairygoose
i forgot to mention – was completely emtpy – like a ghost town – but i bet it is absolutely minging in summer!

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