Cinderella finally falls!!!

oh yes, just six days to remove a rudder – the cause, poor or faulty maltese workmanship.  Had the rudder removed two years ago in malta and they refitted it with a faulty seal. Imagine how two years on sea water can corrode a set of stainless steel bearings.  well it took me six days to get the bugger out!
 
For all those that say there is no surf on the med – read on.
 
saturday saw a nice metre and a half swell hit Cala Major. I headed out with mike for a try. the water was absolutely freezing and the wave was good for a shortboard or body board – sadly – i had neither. Managed to catch just one wave and completely cocked that one up, dragged backwards towards the beach with my fingertips dragging in the sandy sea bed looking for grip to get out of the wash. After less than one hour i was frozen solid – not a good idea as i was suffering from a cold, and still am.
 
tonight a massive swell is predicted for the north coast – a whopping four to four and a half metres – way too big for me. Mike offered me the day off but with that size and me still suffering with a cold , i dont see much point in going.
 
Driving in the rain here is always fun. there is about as much grip as you would find on a slushy road in england. So on saturday when i was making my way out to mikes place to lay some laminate floors for him, i thought i would have a bit of fun. all was well, my feeling for the conditions was spot on – until the last bend before mikes pad. I read the corner completely wrong and had too much speed as the bend tightened to the right sharply. I turned, but nothing, the wheels just slid straight foreward. I braked but no ABS and the wheels locked, i re applied the brakes and steered straight – heading for the bus stop/lay by on the opposite side of the road. Managed to scrub off the speed and get control back and turn out of the layby just before hitting the curb……made the heart race a little bit i can tell you – and of course i was thanking my lucky stars that there was nothing coming the other way.  Wierd thing is – Murdo had warned me about this bend the week before – sometimes i can be a complete dumbass.
 
Talking of rain – it has pissed me off a little bit. I always like running in the rain, which doesnt happen very often when you live in this part of the world.  Running in the rain has always been a little `sexy`for me. i cant explain why, maybe that scene from nine and a half weeks, in the alley way, who knows.  What i do know is that if Kylie knocked on my door, arm in arm with Dido and Anne Robinson offering me a magical foursome while it was raining, i would have to shout – Ói, kylie – NO!  not while it´s raining babe´.  Put your pinny on and do my dishes – I´ll be back in half an hour darling!
 
Tomorrow, the forecast is for a 45 knot wind. Today the boat yard people came round checking all of the boats that were out of the water on blocks!!!!  Fair guess is that i will be absolutely crapping myself tomorrow while i am working 30 feet in the air on a yacht propped up with some old dead trees!
 
Oh, by the way mom – the money arrived in my account today – two days, just like the girl promised!  if that had been in a portuguese bank, they would have thought about it for more than two days before actually doing anything about it!  Viva espanha!! The girl is very cute too – i might ask her to lunch one day soon.
 
Truth be known – i am missing portugal.  Mallorca is very beautiful, rich and clean – maybe they are the exact three reasons why i dont feel at home – te he hee.
 
I rented my house out to one of my german friends who also happens to have a very famous uncle. The football fans amongst you will no doubt remember Frans beckenbauer? well his niece Julia is staying in my place – that is almost a claim to fame for me.
 
I see the lotto is going mental this week. I had a small win last weekend so have played all of my winnings this week for the big one.  It is hard to imagine what you might do with that sort of money but i guess i would keep working.
 
YEAH RIGHT – KISS MY HAIRY ASS!!!!!
 
 Imagine that – over 5 million a year in interest alone – it is hard to believe really.  I bet some drug dealing, rapist wins it – life can be cruel at times.
 
ok guys – thats enough for now.
 
if you feel the need to text me a joke – do it, or just text to say you read my page and tell me what you think about it – i dont get many texts here in mallorca (sob sob sob). my number is +34 6973 90527
 
a few of you tell me you enjoy the read so let me know.
 
welcome back to the lucious Lisa Melvin who also admitted to me last week that she is an avid reader of this page. Turns out she is still single – and i am in the wrong country – my timing was always off!!!
 
anyway – i have to leave soon, this place closes at 9pm ( we are an hour ahead of the uk) and they charge me five bucks an hour for the privelage.
 
spread some love boys and girls
 
wayne

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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