Breaking news; 
 
Read slowly
and carefully… 
 
 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 
 
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’. 
 
In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. 
 
 The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. 
 
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. 
 
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. 
 
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. 
 
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. 
 
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’. 
 
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. 
 
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. 
 
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. 
 
If zis mad you smil, pas on to oza pepl.

 

Still at anchor in Guadeloupe.

 

last night we all went ashore for something to eat.

 

i saw on the menu an cheesecake for ten dollars. Now i figured that a cheesecake must be pretty special for ten bucks so i tried it.

 

It was heavenly!

 

 

 

Yeserday we anchored in the forgotten island of Monserat. You may remember this place from 10 years ago when its volcano errupted burying it´s capital under 20 feet of volcanic ash. it was a strange site, a ghost town of half burried houses. Three quarters of the population left after the erruption and just 4000 ish are left today.

 

As we sailed away, we could still smell the sulphur in the air as the volcano still vents today.

 

Tonight we are anchored in Les Saints, on the french island of Guadelupe. The bay is still and the live caribbean music is wafting across the bay. hard to believe it is almost christmas.

 

Tomorrow i have to rig the fairy lights on the main mast.

 

We will stay here for a few days before heading back to St Kitts and then Antigua.

 

Sadly , we will be leaving mid january and my 6 week carib fest will come to an end. We ship back to palma mid jan and by the end of that month i will be back in palma until we leave for ST Tropez before easter. After that, back to palma before heading for the greek islands again in june.

 

I am using my spanish phone still, if you don´t have that number, i probably don,t want you to have it.

 

until soon,

 

merry christmas to you all, and a special christmas hug to Jo Beach

 

I appologise, it´s been a long time. I landed in sint maartin on the 8th decemeber and since then have hopped around a little bit. we left st maartin for st barts, then onto st kitts and are now currently on anchor in Nevis. We have some more island hopping to do before finishing in antigua before new year. aparently there are some good fireworks for new year in st barts so we might head back there.

 

I have been very busy with work but still found enough time to swim with some sea turtles in st barts and yesterday snorkelled with schoales of multicoloured fish here in nevis over the reef.

 

I have not managed to find a new sim card for my phone and at the moment it looks like we may leave mid jan for palma once more, so for now, if it is urgent, please use my spanish number, just bear in mind, it costs me a whole heap of dollar!

 

the water temp here is mid twenties, the air temp in the thirties, high humidity and very sweaty, makes the sea very inviting at the end of each day.

 

so i wish you all a very cold, wet, miserable and expensive christmas period, sitting in front of the TV watching the omnibus of Eastenders while i struggle away here in paradise.

 

 

 

I am officially doing an elvis.

 

the only place i can get a good internet connection here is in McDonalds, so expect a serious bloaty next time you see me.

 

i am still trying to get a new sim card for my phone and as soon as i do i will let you know. we have almost finished repairs to the boat and if all goes to plan we will be away on saturday heading for St Kits and Antigua but more on that shortly

 

It is warm here, around 30 degrees every day with very high humidity. it rains about 4 times a day but only for a couple of seconds and if i am honest, you are always glad for the drenching.

 

Of course, the place is full of yachties, which bores the crap out of me, their conversation is always very predictable, wind , beer , sex and drugs!!!

 

Some times i realise that christmas is just around the corner and then suddenly i realise i will be completely detached from it this year, and i like that a lot.

 

almost finished.

 

just so that you know, we are 4 hours behind GMT here.

 

i finally made it here after a whole day travelling. I started in portugal this morning at 6 am, then had lunch in palma and now here i am about to get into bed in paris. By tomorrow afternoon (GMT) I will be in ST Maarten courtesy of air france.

 

Nariida were first across the finish line some time last night and i have just checked the other boats and they are all still sailing so it looks like they will do the double and also win on corrected time.

 

Corrected time is a bit like putting a fiat panda in a formula one race and giving it a three day head start.

 

Anyway, while we are on the subject of formula  1, i would like to thank Niki Lauder. The oldies will remember him as the guy that almost burned to death at the Nurburgring in the 70´s. Well, he started an airline a few years ago and by golly gosh, a damn fine airline it is too. Fresh new paint on new planes, pert leather seats, drop down screens with all the info on that you could imagine, including a web cam view of the cockpit and damn fine fillies too. Infact i dare not get out of my seat for fear of embarrassing myself. If you want to try it out, www.flyniki.com. it was also the softest landing i have ever had! not like those cunts at spanair who almost broke my back !!

 

 

I would also like to thank aireuropa. my first flight with them earlier this year scared the shit out of me, it felt like the plane would fall apart around my feet but the last two flights have been perfect, and the added bonus that they let me check in my bags 5 hours before my flight was due to leave so i was free to wander around palma (and tenerife!) without lumping a bloody great bag with me.

 

I sent the grommetts packing this morning too, rupert and dean have gone back to blighty no doubt where it is freezing cold and raining.

 

I was sad to read last week that Evil Knievel died! brought back memories of his stunt cycle with the plastic rip chord through the middle. every kid in suburbia had one of those or a pink panther one at least.

 

I have on order a new longboard. a monster at 10´2´´. Had to source it in england though, and in true cornish style it wont be ready until late january but davey the ding man will do a damn fine job as always, good old davey morgan. all i have to do is get it from england to portugal.

 

so my short term future is unknown. i have no idea how long i will be in the caribbean for or where we will go from there. i must admit, i do kind of like the uncertanty.

 

I will post new contact numbers as soon as i can but in the meantime, for really urgent stuff you can reach me on wayne@nariida.com

 

until then………keep warm you suckers!!!

 

i watched the films years ago and this week suddenly realised that is what i have been doing……..chasing the sun around the world.

 

ok, so tenerife and portugal are warm and sunny by most accounts but when you have been here for a few years you get aclimatised and suddenly the winters feel cold so it makes sense to head further west and enjoy the sweltering winter heat of the caribbean, especially if we get to stay until april. by that time, returning to mallorca or portugal, the weather will be hot and sunny once more.

 

Today, the conditions are perfect. zero wind, a couple of metres on the west coast and a good wave interval so i wll head shortly to ponta  ruiva for a few hours and see what gives.

 

i just have to hang my washing out first

 

well, here we are, all in one piece. yesterday scored a nice little wave at barriga and considering i havent been in the water for nearly a year, i did well, even if i could only manage an hour before i was exhausted.

 

After yesterdays surf, we hit Mitic bar in sagres for a jaegermeister and a few bohemias, and finished the evening completely munted. it was messy.

 

this morning, breakfast in the drom and checked the race progress and as expected, Nariida are leading. follow the link below for live updates

 

 

so a few errands to run before i hit the beach mid afternoon for another surf.

 

life is good, it has been for the last three years !!

 

i leave here on the 7th december for st maartin in the caribbean. i will be there for a minimum of 6 weeks but could also end up staying for 4 months, i just dont know until i get there.

 

will upload a few photos photos from yesterday, be sure to take a look.

 

 

 

 

 

the race starts on monday at 13.00 gmt. Officially called the Transatlantic Maxi Yacht Rolex Cup, a mouthfull i know but all boats will be carrying global positioning sensors (i fitted ours this afternoon). you can log on and see the race positions and global positions in real time, just click on the link below, and dont forget to cheer for the family green – NARIIDA!!

 

 

apart from that, i will leave tenerife on monday just as the boat pulls off the dock and head home via mallorca for ten days, then i have to leave for the caribbean until mid january.

 

i will post a new contact number for me in the caribbean as soon as i get there.

 

stand by

 

over and out

 

still here in tenerife. its hot. yesterday i went in the sea in just my shorts! imagine that, mid november and still warm enough in the water for shorts.

 

i rented a car for the weekend and explored the island. i have to say i am impressed, it is a very cool place. I sat at the beach today in playa de las americas watching head high waves crashing in. sadly, i couldnt get a board to go for play, maybe tomorrow will be more fruitful.

 

i tried to check in to a hotel for the evening too. first one i tried was well impressive. as i stood asking the girl if she had a room, the security guard came up to me and asked me where my shoes were. i told him they were in the car but he would not let me book a room while i was barefoot so i left. the next two hotels i tried were also fully booked so i have returned to the boat for the evening. seems tenerife never has a quiet moment.

 

so i am back in santa cruz for the evening.

 

It is unbelievable how hot this place is. i hear there is snow back in blighty, that should cause chaos for a few days. I have a week left here in tenerife and then i fly back to mallorca, grab my car and head home to portugal for ten days.

 

should hopefully have some good surf and maybe even in shorts too if it is still warm enough. sadly though, i will be leaving portugal on the 7th december, back to palma to get a plane to paris before leaving for the caribbean the following day. So while you are cold and chilly in england (or wherever you are) i will be blissfully unaware of it all in St. Maarten for christmas and new year.

 

before i go, i have to tell you about the trip down here from mallorca. As we were passing gibraltar we had a fish take the bait from the back of the boat. at the same time, we were also surrounded by the biggest pod of dolphins i have ever seen. I am guessing there were around a 100 of them. Anyway, the fish we hooked was putting up such a fight that we began wondering if we had infact hooked a dolphin. Thankfully, this wasn´t the case. the skipper used one of the deck winches to reel in one of the biggest yellow fin tunas i have ever seen. That also explains the dolphins.

 

but it gets better. when you sail at night, you get this wierd illuminous glow in the water from small organisms that are there. I am not sure if they glow like a radioactive cell as a defense mechanism from the disturbance of the boat cutting through the water or something else. Anyway, i have seen this before but in the atlantic as we sailed along the coast of morocco, the lime green glow was the brightest i had ever seen. as the waves from the hull of the boat spill outwards, the agitation makes these little critters glow light green, in effect making the waves illuminous. But what was really cool was when the dolphins swim alongside at night too. Imagine watching an old war film of submarines and ships. when the sub fires a torpedo, it leaves a trail of bubbles in the water. now imagine those bubbles are illuminous green and it is night time and you can see the dolphins approaching the boat like a torpedo, spinning and turning under the boat before they turn sharply and dissappear, leaving a light green trail for you to watch. it has to be one of the coolest things i have ever seen.