Tag Archives: weather

I wish those fucktards would stay away.

But they wont will they?  Seems the BBC has employed more than their fair share – I guess that’s what you get for being politically correct? 5% of your employees must be one eyed lesbians, another 5% fucktards, 3% retired ice cream vendors with a dog named Patch who lost a testicle in the Vietnam War etc etc etc.

So the article in question – I was reading the news yesterday and saw a piece about an earth quake in Italy that had triggered an avalanche.  I understand that I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but this……?

Earthquakes cannot be predicted with precision but seismologists had suspected this particular area of central Italy would experience another batch of serious tremors sooner or later

Now, if there were an award for vague predictions, this would definitely get second prize.  Second only to a weather girl I watched once (on the BBC) who made the startling prediction that 2013 had a 50% chance of being a hotter year than 2012.  I hope her parents hadn’t invested too much in her maths degree.  To have the two options of hotter or colder clearly is a 50/50 situation, or in other terms 50%.  Turns out she had told us bugger all.

But sooner or later ?  Come on FFS – that isn’t rocket science.  It isn’t really even a prediction is it.  It’s reality.

 

Lightening the load a little.  My Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge experiment has been boxed for now.  I was trialling a very lush looking Samsung while here for two reasons.  I have been intrigued by the Samsung for a long time now and secondly, having a local SIM in a different phone meant that I could still use iMessage to communicate with the rest of the world.

As beautiful as the Samsung is, I have struggled with its functionality.  Not that Android is no good, my problem lies with the shite internet connections I have to suffer while working at sea.  I need to investigate more about how to use the phone at its best and that just isn’t possible with a sht connection.

So now it is boxed, fully charged and ready to try again when in blighty or sell on to a lucky bleeder that will get a £625 phone for a smidge over £400 I suspect.

I went back to the iPhone 6s after trying for hours to get photos off the Samsung onto a work computer so that I could order parts.  Certain that the flaw was the internet speeds but I couldn’t plug the Samsung into the Mac and draw the photos off and that pissed me off!!!!!

That said – I did really adore the Samsung – a very pretty phone and with an expanded memory of 232GB – plenty of music could be had if only I could figure out how to store it on the SD card !!!!!


Weather woes

So here I sit, alone, on a 14 million euro super yacht in Cannes at a time when England play the mighty Australia to stay in the world cup competition.  Should be an exciting time right?

Not so

Currently there is a huge thunder-storm sitting directly over the boat, lashing it with hailstones and 40 knot winds.  That alone is not so bad.  I mean, a huge electrical storm directly overhead and I am sitting inside a carbon fibre boat, now soaking wet with a mast nearly 50 metres closer to the storm than everything else around me.  You shouldn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that carbon is one of the most electrically conductive materials known to man.  Risky business this yachting lark.

But please spare a thought.  My TV connection is via satellite, not through a fibre cable under the road.  Storm clouds block satellite transmissions perfectly.  Electrical storms interfere with the signal, then block it, just to be doubly sure you can’t watch it.

No problem, Radio 5 live – I streamed the Welsh game on my phone on the drive down.

My french IP address gives me away – cannot stream the game on 5 live – of course they never told me that, I was listening to the build up right up to kick off when they cut the program.  So now I am reduced to the text only stream on the BBC website and now England are 3-10 down !!!

And the storm just knocked out my shore power too – still, I can use the heat from the generator to dry out my pumps that got wet in the storm 2 days ago.

I think I will stay inside until tomorrow and fix the shore power then.

 

Yachting is such fun


Sarcasm – The lowest form of wit ??

I don’t think so – plagiarism, that’s it for me – so here’s a joke I plagiarised from my most avid follower Connor

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as English Weather.

Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as: ‘Muslim Weather’.

(Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi’ite).

 

There – it made me chuckle too.  Not as much as when I sneezed on my cock the other day.  I found that funny because I knew immediately after having done it – I would have to tell you all about it.

I was dropping the mother load at Mason’s apartment the other night when I got one of  those hay fever sneezes starting to load up in my sinuses.  I resisted and resisted up to the point that I realised resistance was indeed futile and then I let it go.  Unfortunately, in the process of letting it go, I rocked backwards on the toilet, fully exposing my tackle at the precise moment of spraying my sneeze everywhere.

This mornings half marathon had me all excited – aiming for a time of under two hours I headed out at 6am along the seafront here in Mallorca in a new pair of Asics after the last pair caused me some pain.  Getting close to the end of the run, maybe 100 metres from the finish, I pulled my phone out ready to stop the runkeeper only to see 1:59:50 on the screen.  Initially I was elated because I was so very close to breaking my 2 hour target, but then I realised I was another 30 seconds or so away from the finish line.  I crossed in 2:00:38 – just 38 seconds outside my half marathon target time – or so I thought.  I was annoyed with myself a little bit, there had been a few times on the run where my concentration had wandered and I had slowed – if I had just kept my concentration good, I would have been under the 2 hour milestone.

But then it hit me – I am actually running 21.86km instead of 21km with an average of 5:31 per km, take that extra 0.86km out and I reckon I am at 1:55:00 easily. So I was overjoyed – but it didn’t last!

See, the race that I am aiming for isn’t until September so I think I am going to have to change my target time as I am already achieving it so without further ado, I do declare a new target time for me to finish the Great North Run 2015 of 1:45:00 or less.

I have a plan.  A rocking playlist to help me along but at 1:45:00 Rihanna will come on – If I hear ‘shine bright like a diamond’ I will know I have failed.  Maybe you can all help me with a suggestion for some inspiring and upbeat tunes for the run so that I can start compiling the playlist??  Send your suggestions via the comments here or directly to me via email.

Prizes for the most inspiring tunes

Congratulations to Steve & Nic for their new house – I think Steve is allowed his own playroom now!

Steves playroom

 

 

Looks like I might finally get some time off by the end of the month – maybe even a brief visit to Portugal while I am at this end of Europe.

Big shout out to Mr & Mrs Cooper – Come on Down!

I think that’s it for now, watch this space for something exciting coming soon – I promise.

 

Turd photos more than welcome


%d bloggers like this: