Tag Archives: australia

Don’t ask me where I have been.

But do ask about the monumental trip I am currently making all the way from West Papua to good old Rugby Town.

Most of you will have no idea where West Papua is, or even that it existed. Well, take a globe, spin it around until you can see Australia, draw a vertical line up the middle of Australia and out the top, the first land mass you might hit will be Papua.  I was there yesterday.  Tomorrow I aim to be in Rugby, squeezing the squeeze.

How about this for a monster trek, 4 taxi’s, 4 flights, 2 train rides, 1 underground ride, two overnight stops in cheap (and a little run down) hotels and a quick walk off the platform into the arms of my favourite nurse.  Heavenly.

I have now had a year in Asia, a bit like John Thaw’s year in Provence – NOT. Different over here, mainly hot and humid or just plain hot so I am glad to be heading back to the chills of blighty.  Yep, you will think I am mad but one thing I noticed about people that move to hot climates – they spend all their time in air conditioned buildings so unless you count global warming as a win, they have gained nothing.

 

So, Rugby Town…..I wonder if it has changed much?  Will be in the Merchants Inn on Friday night if you fancy a beer.

If you have ever thought of crossword puzzles being difficult to complete correctly, try completing one wrongly – filling all those spaces with words and letters that connect correctly is a dozen times harder, I promise you.

 

We did have a new experience on board our boat recently.  Two of the guests wanted to get married.  The captain stepped up to the plate and did the deed.  The stewardesses pulled out all of the stops to make the boat look ceremonial and me, as the engineer, was tasked with commissioning a wedding ring!  That’s a first for me.  Scratching my head wondering what to use and how to do it, I finally opted for an old fishing hook, a gas burner and some snipe nosed pliers to get the job done.  Measured the Grooms finger with one of my combination spanners (he’s a 17mm by the way) and began to fashion the ring for him.  It actually turned out pretty damn excellent I might say.  I did hope he would leave it behind and let me keep it but he took it with him.  One day when I am fat and famous, that ring will be worth a mint I tell you – like an original Banksy.

Anyway, have a look at the photos, click to enlarge and place your orders for bespoke jewelery next time you see me.

 

So there you have it – the man has hidden talents don’t you know.

New Xbox One X is waiting for me too, along with a new personalised controller – all I need now is a 4k TV and I am in.  A major lottery win wouldn’t go amiss either but to get that one, I might need to buy a ticket right?  Something tells me though, I won’t get much time to try it out.  A trip to the Fred Dibnah Heritage Centre is on the cards, renew my medical certificate in Nottingham and two little surprises for the squeeze, one as a birthday treat is, if I say so myself, a – fucking – mazing!!!  Don’t take my word for it though – check back here in December and read all aboout (for the Canadian readers) it.

Glad to see some chums have confirmed for the Merchants, always look forward to seeing the Beards, this time, Junior Gurnsey is even going to make it so I am told.  Biggest surprise – Mr. & Mrs. Brown will also be there !!!

 

And if you were wondering, I was a 21mm – that would be well endowed if I were a lesbian !

See you tomorrow bum holes !!

 

No Range Rover Sport this time 😦

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Whole Lotta Rosie

You have to ask – is there any hope?

I just appeared on the bridge at midnight – wait wait wait, there’s a verse there

twas on the bridge at midnight

His leg was all a quiver

he gave a cough, his leg fell off

and floated down the river

 

Anyway – I was on the bridge at midnight just letting the navigators know I was around when we got talking about stuff.  The two watchkeepers are of a younger generation than me you see.  We got chatting.  Now young Rosie, a youthful and energetic 18 year old from Australia seemed to think her generation were all ´fucked up´and of little hope.  We talked more about the politics of the current world, North Korea, Marine Le Pen, China and of course America (fuck yeah). I also expressed my admiration for a fella over in the states called Elon Musk, and that I hoped he would be our salvation an unlikely hero, not like John Connor!

Rosie immediately asked if Elon Musk was on YouTube as she didn´t know who he was.  Equally as quickly, she realised the irony of her two last statements and we chuckled about it.  Maybe there is hope yet?

I think there is – the other day, Rosie tipped me off about the young Aussie lass below – I was stunned !

Talent – she has it,  considerably more than my verse writing skills for sure.

So right now, about 5 hours out of Singapore which will most likely be my new home until late June.  I am a little excited I must admit. More on that soon.

I am also more than a little excited about my new squeeze.


Weather woes

So here I sit, alone, on a 14 million euro super yacht in Cannes at a time when England play the mighty Australia to stay in the world cup competition.  Should be an exciting time right?

Not so

Currently there is a huge thunder-storm sitting directly over the boat, lashing it with hailstones and 40 knot winds.  That alone is not so bad.  I mean, a huge electrical storm directly overhead and I am sitting inside a carbon fibre boat, now soaking wet with a mast nearly 50 metres closer to the storm than everything else around me.  You shouldn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that carbon is one of the most electrically conductive materials known to man.  Risky business this yachting lark.

But please spare a thought.  My TV connection is via satellite, not through a fibre cable under the road.  Storm clouds block satellite transmissions perfectly.  Electrical storms interfere with the signal, then block it, just to be doubly sure you can’t watch it.

No problem, Radio 5 live – I streamed the Welsh game on my phone on the drive down.

My french IP address gives me away – cannot stream the game on 5 live – of course they never told me that, I was listening to the build up right up to kick off when they cut the program.  So now I am reduced to the text only stream on the BBC website and now England are 3-10 down !!!

And the storm just knocked out my shore power too – still, I can use the heat from the generator to dry out my pumps that got wet in the storm 2 days ago.

I think I will stay inside until tomorrow and fix the shore power then.

 

Yachting is such fun


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