Tag Archives: lycra

Beardy Twats

Happily cycling along the coast road the other week between Monaco and Italy when I got overtaken by a group of 4 riders on road bikes.  Before you start munching off saying how I have been overtaken, remember, those road bikes are significantly more efficient than a dual suspension mountain bike on knobbly tyres and active suspension.  Never the less, I managed to pass these ‘cyclists’ on 3 occasions.  Sure, they might have been a little faster than me, but they kept stopping for a chat so I would pass them again.  No stamina these youngsters – but they did have fooking great big beards and were fully clad in road race lycra.  I doubt any of them were over 25 years old and they had beards thicker than the hair on my head – the beardy, lycra clad twats !

I did quit my job the other week so I have been off for a week now.  Heading to the States on Monday 5th May, and from there, sailing down to Rio de Janeiro for the world cup.  Once I get there, I swap out with the other engineer and get another month off.  The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice I said ‘sailing down to Rio’ – I am hugely pleased to announce that I am getting back on a sailing boat and plan never to return to a motor boat ever in my life again.  In fact, if you see me taking a job on a motor boat in the future, feel free to bend me over and give me a jolly good and rigorous fisting.

Today something really weird happened.  I was out yogging (that’s how posh people say Jogging!) in the forest.  The forest has really come to life since the last time I was here at the end of March.  The trees are full of leaves, the shrubbery is covering the forest floor again, it’s a real ‘thicket’ of activity.  I entered the forest, yogging at my normal pace, noticing the greenery on the trees and the pine and twigs on the ground. I had my music on but not too loud so I could still hear the background noises, the birds tweeting, twigs snapping under foot, rapists breathing heavily from the bushes, when a song came on.  Have you ever seen the film ‘Apocalypse Now?’.  I had just entered the forest when the Doors started singing ‘The End’.  It was a surreal moment that put me on full gook alert, checking trees for snipers, under bushes for tunnels, behind fallen trees for rows of punji sticks that might catch me out and leave me to bleed to death.  Not to worry, I had a full clip and only two clicks to yomp.

Staying with music for a moment, I had my phone playing music randomly the other day.  Well, I thought it was random, but it soon became apparent that it was scrolling through alphabetically by artist.  I can now officially confirm that I have 7 slightly different versions of Sonique’s ‘It feels so good’ in my iTunes library.  Not a bad running track as a single play item – after the 7th, I was ready to hang myself from a tree.

The Rangie has just cost me 500€ to have an oil leak fixed.  Here’s the thing, the seal itself was just 7€ but by the time the gearbox oil was drained, filters and gaskets replaced, it was a tad more expensive.  I never have liked parting with cash, especially when it is something I have the ability to fix for myself, albeit lacking the equipment to do so – but when I got seated and fired her up, I knew with was a love affair that won’t be ended easily – and certainly not over a 500€ garage bill.  In stark comparison, I just went to the local store for some milk and 2 bottles of Chimay Blue.  3ltrs of milk and 2 Chimays, a tad over 7€ – now that is something I can live with.  Beer, the same price as milk – no wait, let me re-phrase, top quality beer the same price as milk!

My new job awaits, a 46m sloop called ‘Pink Gin’.  I am looking forward to getting on board and getting stuck in.  We did a deal that gives me a minimum of 8 months work a year, the rest of the time is all mine.

And that’s about all I wish to share with you right now – I did negotiate christmas off this year so expect me to be around – annoying the crap out of you all.

 

Charlie Doesn’t Surf !!!!!

 

 

 


Smacking my bitch up

Curious that recent post – it did encourage a lot of new site traffic and even a few new followers.  The only thing I can think of is that there is a lot of bitch smacking going on out there in the world.

For those in the know, I have been in Charleston, South Carolina now for a couple of weeks.  Of course, I have been wanting to write something snazzy but there is close to piss all here for inspiration. Certainly it is a pretty little place, and of course it is a University town.  Many of you, if not all of you will be reading that last statement without fully understanding what it meant – A University Town.  Essentially it means `Clunge Town’, let me translate.  The major population is late teens or early 20´s and all in insanely good shape, all young fillies.  They all favour the skin tight legging style lycra ish thing and better still, the type that goes slightly more transparent when it is stretched (i.e. bending over) so it is eye candy central…………….or is it?

Good to look at may be one thing but as I grow wiser with age I know that even though they are studying hard, there is bugger all between those ears and for me a good brain is as important as a good figure so it becomes one of those bewildering scenarios.

Sitting in Starbucks drinking my skinny latte (it too is an age thing) reading the BBC News on my iphone and looking at all of these scantily clad wenches walking by and honestly not having a great deal of interest at all, in fact more interest as to what is going on in Israel and Gaza.

So that sums up Charleston for you.  Worth a visit?  no , not really, beer like piss water and post offices that don’t open until 11:30am

 

Of course, there is light at the end of the tunnel.  My PTO pumps are now back on, noise and leak free – it took me a while to solve that one but I finally got it.  I also scored a good fix on one of my generators which was half stripped last week to replace the cylinder head gasket and also the wet exhaust manifold gaskets.  I also managed to get the new main engine silencers in to the engine room today but not without spending 3 hours stripping pipes, valves and half a stair case out to make enough room to lift the old ones out – only to find out that there still wasn’t enough room.  3 hours to put everything back together before removing the engine room door frame and some of the banisters to bring them out through the main part of the boat.  Still, tomorrow all i have to do is get them into place and connect them up

I promise soon to have something interesting to write about.  We are leaving for Antigua on 3rd December so fun things should start to happen

 

If you`re having problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 cookies coz a bitch ate one !

 

 

 

 

Good to read today that AC/DC finally allowed their music to be sold on iTunes