Tag Archives: south carolina

Smacking my bitch up

Curious that recent post – it did encourage a lot of new site traffic and even a few new followers.  The only thing I can think of is that there is a lot of bitch smacking going on out there in the world.

For those in the know, I have been in Charleston, South Carolina now for a couple of weeks.  Of course, I have been wanting to write something snazzy but there is close to piss all here for inspiration. Certainly it is a pretty little place, and of course it is a University town.  Many of you, if not all of you will be reading that last statement without fully understanding what it meant – A University Town.  Essentially it means `Clunge Town’, let me translate.  The major population is late teens or early 20´s and all in insanely good shape, all young fillies.  They all favour the skin tight legging style lycra ish thing and better still, the type that goes slightly more transparent when it is stretched (i.e. bending over) so it is eye candy central…………….or is it?

Good to look at may be one thing but as I grow wiser with age I know that even though they are studying hard, there is bugger all between those ears and for me a good brain is as important as a good figure so it becomes one of those bewildering scenarios.

Sitting in Starbucks drinking my skinny latte (it too is an age thing) reading the BBC News on my iphone and looking at all of these scantily clad wenches walking by and honestly not having a great deal of interest at all, in fact more interest as to what is going on in Israel and Gaza.

So that sums up Charleston for you.  Worth a visit?  no , not really, beer like piss water and post offices that don’t open until 11:30am


Of course, there is light at the end of the tunnel.  My PTO pumps are now back on, noise and leak free – it took me a while to solve that one but I finally got it.  I also scored a good fix on one of my generators which was half stripped last week to replace the cylinder head gasket and also the wet exhaust manifold gaskets.  I also managed to get the new main engine silencers in to the engine room today but not without spending 3 hours stripping pipes, valves and half a stair case out to make enough room to lift the old ones out – only to find out that there still wasn’t enough room.  3 hours to put everything back together before removing the engine room door frame and some of the banisters to bring them out through the main part of the boat.  Still, tomorrow all i have to do is get them into place and connect them up

I promise soon to have something interesting to write about.  We are leaving for Antigua on 3rd December so fun things should start to happen


If you`re having problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 cookies coz a bitch ate one !





Good to read today that AC/DC finally allowed their music to be sold on iTunes







Pergatory @ 18mph

Apparently there is a small storm brewing down the road a little bit, just blown across Cuba and heading to the Bahamas.  Bit of a bummer really as it is generally heading in our direction.  It certainly looks like it will pass by where we want to go and if we leave as planned, we may well be heading straight for it.  Will be keeping a close eye on that especially if the captain says we are leaving as planned because I might be rapidly cramming my stuff into a bag and getting off!

There once was a time when I would have rejoiced at hitting 33mph on my bike but now sadly, 33mph is just so last year ! The New York 44 is gonna take some beating so I have shifted my attention to the speed display at the top of Purgatory Hill.  I tripped it late last week at around 14 or 15 mph – I don’t quite remember which but on Tuesday night I really slammed that mother – 18mph !  That’s uphill too don’t forget.  Tonight I could only manage an absurd 17mph – I do find myself wondering if there is a possibility of a 20 in there – maybe with some fresh legs it can be done.

I also treated myself to a new  ‘super fandango’  LED lamp.  Gorgeous it is, and almost as expensive as one of the missus’s handbags, but unlike one of her bags, it has form and use.  So bright is this thing I can dazzle the oncoming traffic if they forget to dip their lights.

So with this storm, Charleston may just be delayed.  I hope so.  I was told this week that we will be working on the Saturday that I intended to fly back to Newport for my ‘Pell Bridge Run’.  That’s just the way it is I guess but still something of a pisser.

Tomorrow night, Live Music !!  Most of you will have no idea just who the Mighty Diamonds are.  Some of you may even be old enough to remember ‘Musical Youth’ – pass the dutchie from the left hand side.  Well, the mighty diamonds wrote that song for the youth, something I only found out today.  $16 buys a ticket to this monster music festival that no doubt will be filled with sad middle aged white folk like me, all dancing like white girls dance when listening to UB40.  But enough of that (and yes, I am aware that starting a sentence with ‘but’ is very poor English).

Lets talk weight loss.  My new target (because 95kilos is also so last year) is a big fat round 90kgs.  Last week I managed to dip to the dizzying depths of 92.9kg, this week, I am hoping to be on the cusp of 91kgs. Chan said if I can get to 69kilos, he will let me shit in his wetsuit.  Only problem there is that to get to 69kilos, I think I might have to cut off both of my legs – Thanks for the incentive Chan but I seem to remember from my Johnny Corporate days that goals and objectives have to be achievable.

Last weekend was the birthday weekender.  Myself and another crew member shared the same birthday – almost.  We had a joint party at a friends place here which just happens to be an old church.  The theme for the party was ‘Circus’ and somehow I managed to get roped in to being the ‘Bearded Lady’.  The girls were very excited about buying my clothes – a nice black number, with a feather boa, blonde wig and black beard and not forgetting the blue eye shadow and red lippy. I had to stop them buying me stiletto heels.  You would think that size 14 would be near impossible to find but oh no, they found some.  I will find some photos soon and post them here.

Ok, time for bed.  Keep your fingers crossed that –

1. The storm delays our departure and I can run the bridge

2. The captain doesn’t decide to run headlong into the storm

3. In case of 2. – I have the balls to pack my gear and get the fuck off!

4. If we sit it out on the dock, we survive all in one piece

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