Don’t worry, I haven’t ben affected by one of those ‘life coaches’ or anything else pathetic like that but i have decided to perk myself up a little.  Lots going on at the moment and add to that a job that is getting a little long in the tooth and I have to say I have become way too grumpy for my own good, so I have decided to pick myself up every morning with a few american style ‘whoos’ at good volume, followed by the words ‘P-M-A dude’ and the occasional ‘fuck yeah’ to finish it off.

It makes me smile but annoys the shit out of those around me.  I even find myself saying it in the car when confronted with the local spanish fuckwits.  It works too – try it for yourself next time you want to rage at someone.

I have a few photos to share with you while I am PMA’ing.  Been flying an awful lot this last month.  I have sampled the delights of both Monarch Airlines and also the tedium of Ryanair.  Now Monarch, I really like.  The prices are not mental, their planes in good nick and their staff are always really good.  I was a bit miffed though the other week when crossing the Alps and the co-pilot came out of the cockpit to use the toilet.  Remember that German Wings flight that plunged into the Alps the other year?  Well, I thought that since then, all airlines had adopted a policy of always two people in the cockpit. Not Monarch it would seem.  As their customer service kindly pointed out to me in an email – the two at all times policy was a recommendation and not  law so they weren’t doing it.  So I switched to Ryanair.  A little cheaper, a little less classy and a little less on time.  Both of last weeks flights were at least an hour late, the return leg getting to an hour and a half behind.

I am a firm subscriber to the notion of ‘better late than never’ when flying.  Ryanair play that shite little fanfare when they land on time or ahead of schedule – you may have noticed.  What you also may have noticed is that they also publish longer flight times than their rivals for identical flights – sneaky feckers aren’t they?

So this time – no fanfare, praise the lord but as you can see below, a late departure and then to add insult to injury, we get overtaken by an Easyjet plane – damn Ryanair you tight fuckers, burn some extra fuel and catch up some of the time you lost!

Now, all said and done, lets talk about Range Rover Sport and the Land Rover Dealer network.  Been a thorn in my side for a while now, whenever I take my car to the dealer, it costs a grand.  Never more, never less, always a fecking grand.  I called them last week to make a booking to have some work done.  One of the things I asked them to do was tell me how much a new key would be.  One of my keys is worn badly on the unlock button.  So bad the casing has cracked and is exposing the electronics to the atmosphere.  I asked for a price and the rather smug fucker at the dealer said, ……wait for it……….£250 – I was gob smacked.

£250 for a key – get lost !.  I scoured eBay and found a new shell.  All I had to do was cut the old unit apart, remove the electronics and fit them inside the new key – easy !!!

Damn right it was easy – for a first timer, it took me about 20 minutes.  Comparing the two keys (genuine and aftermarket) it is hard to see the difference, in fact, I think the new one is better

And here’s the best bit – not £250 like the Dick Turpin dealer wanted, no.  A modest £5.95 delivered from eBay.  Yes, not a typo, five pounds and ninety five pence, delivered in two days flat – job done

My Range Rover is ace – the dealer network is just shite.

Now tonight, I would like to end with a little bit of nostalgia.  Some of you may be familiar with a spectacularly good program called ‘Modern Family’. It’s ace isn’t it ?  One of the main characters on that program is a guy I know better as Al Bundy from Married with Children ( also showing the extremely hot young Christina Applegate).  A superb comedy from a time before the politically correct brigade gained some seats in the Houses of Parliament. Anyway, tonight I found a montage of Al Bundys best insults and it actually made me LOL so I thought I should share.  I genuinely did LOL too, I am not just typing that for effect – I LOL’d and you will too, I promise

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/al-bundys-best-insults/84992638/