Tag Archives: Antigua

Smack my Bitch Up !

Ok, maybe I jumped the gun a little bit.  I went for a burn on my cycle tonight along ‘Ocean Drive’, one of my normal routes, in fact it is probably my only route here in Newport.  There was plenty of debris still strewn over the roads and it was clear to see that someone had spent a lot of time cleaning up, snow ploughing the sand off the road from the beaches, pulling boulders out of the way etc.  So maybe I have to admit the storm was a little tougher than I first thought.

Let that be said but tonight I blasted Purgatory Hill at 20mph!! Check me out.  I also double checked that with my GPS plotter and that told me I had in fact hit a respectable 22.5 mph momentarily before plunging off the other side to a very mediocre 36mph (still, quite scary in the dark). I am impressed, and of course, moving the goal posts once more – upward to 22mph.

I shall be in Antigua in December and it is here that I fully expect to smash my current downhill record of 44.6mph – the drop down from Shirley Heights is long and steep.  I know this morbid curiosity with speed and my mountain bike will inevitably end in tears but I just can’t help it.  Be thankful though.  Less than a decade ago I would have been trying to crack the double ton on a very very fast motorbike but either way I guess broken bones are broken bones.

So what stimulates you first thing in the morning? My alarm woke me at 05:30.  By 05:45 I was sitting on the rowing machine in the gym having pre programmed  my 40 minute schedule and was looking for some ‘uplifting’ tunes to see me through. I poo poo’d the workout euro pop that I normally opt for that I stole from Nic and Steve and instead went for a bit of Keith and Liam – I got the poison, I got the remedy and of course thoroughly thrashed about trying hard to improve my overall average time for 500 metres.  I was about 5 minutes from the finish when ‘breathe’ came up for its random turn – breathe the pressure, come play my game I’ll test yah, inhale inhale – you are the victim – and by christ was I panting hard by that point – the lyrics amused me.  I started to think about the youth of today and the shite music they have to endure, I feel sad for them, they missed out on greats like the Prodigy, the whole grunge era of Sound Garden, Alice in Chains, Nirvana.

By the time my thoughts had control of me, my pace had slipped – Oh bugger!

I would like to share with you though, a little video by The Prodigy – one of the best vids out there in my humble opinion, and this one, for me, is a tad better than Fatboy Slim’s Weapon of Choice or  Feeder’s Just a Day – but don’t take my word for it, have a look and listen

Smack my Bitch Up

I also had my second busiest day ever on the site yesterday, 320 hits in one day, not too shabby for my little old on line diary.  I credit that to my recent posts about the storm Sandy

Weird dreams?  I dreamt two nights ago that I was in a field with hundreds of other people while an assassin was preparing to take pot shots at us.  Suddenly I was whisked into a palacial mansion and the assassin was Oprah Winfrey and she wanted to get jiggy with it instead of shooting me. Now the worst thing about dreams is that I usually wake up at the most interesting point, the point where you really want to see the story continue and find out where it leads, but once you are awake, you are done for. I was just about to get my hands down the front of Oprah’s pants when the harp started playing.  The harp is my alarm tone on the phone – I was gutted – always wondered what Oprah’s muff was like.

Talking of dodgy looking women, I added more photos to the America 2012 section from the birthday party the other week, you know the one, where I was dressed as a bearded lady?

Pop on over and take a look


The last of the Summer Wine

A year has passed since I wrote my note – I should have known it right from the start!

This time last year I weighed in at 115.2 kgs, thats a little over 18 stone, or if my mothers scales are to be believed, close on 18 1/2 stone – or for you septics, 253lbs.

In the last year, I have covered some miles, all under my own steam – 2360 to be more accurate! That equates to over a quarter of a million calories burned in specific exercise. I have ran my longest single distance non stop of 10.2 miles, cycled on my mountain bike for a whopping 51.4 miler and even managed a top speed on the mountain bike of 44.6mph – it is all wholesomely impressive. My trousers have also shrunk somewhat, from a rather lardy 40” waist last October to a now very delicate by comparison 34” waist.

You would hope that with less of a belly, my knob might appear bigger but sadly no. More seriously though, I have logged activities in Belgium, Spain, UK, Antigua, Florida, St. Maarten, Rhode Island, Maine, Nantucket Island, Savannah and most recently Las Vegas with Georgia and the Caribbean looming before christmas.  It has been an incredible journey.  I have also worn out 3 pairs of training shoe in that time, thats over 300 squids worth of footwear! I have 2 new pairs of running shoes safely tucked away under my floor in my cabin – they should last until we get out of the caribbean and back to civilisation.

My original Claude Butler Mountain bike has been retired and I now plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the land with my Specialized instead – but it is fed and watered by gods almighty hand. Yet to be ridden in serious anger, I am becoming one with my new steed, practise indeed for when myself and Mr. Brown meet once more somewhere up on Cannock Chase no doubt.

So what is next I hear you ask? A half Marathon is on the cards, followed some time in the near future by a full marathon but you will have to keep stopping by to see what I am up to, and more importantly, where I am up to it.

Let me leave you with a figure on that weight loss. Today, as I stand here, I tip the scales at………..

92.9kgs   or around 14 stone 8lbs

or (for the septics)

204lbs

 


Purgatory, Pell Bridge & Las Vegas

Elvis has definitely left the building!

Second trip this year to Las Vegas has left me wanting to go again.  It is a hot bed of every indulgence known to man, all in the middle of a desert.  For instance, while I was there I managed to have a quick thrash around a track in a Lamborghini Gallardo, followed by one of the best Double Whopper with cheese and bacon although I do think this was probably so good mainly due to the fact that I had waited for more than 4 months to eat it.

I am amazed at how much money people are happy to gamble away though.  We stayed at the MGM Grand and no matter what time we passed through the casino (that was strategically placed so you couldn’t avoid it) there was someone playing the slots, all day long, every day.  There was even one woman that sat at the same machine for hours, she was there when we went out and still there when we came back.

I do wonder what it was like in the seventies with Elvis playing live at Caesars Palace, I reckon a truly hedonistic time. Caesars is still there of course, maybe next time we will head there instead.  There is still so much to explore in Vegas – but be warned, take plenty of money with you, and I mean pleeeeenty!  I have yet to check my credit card transactions but I reckon that little 6 day excursion knocked a hole in 2000 USD

So, maybe after I finish with this boat, another trip to Vegas is on the cards???

Now, enough of that nonsense.  Today I entered my first running race.  I have spent a few months this year in Newport, Rhode Island.  Part of the landscape here is Pell Bridge. If you look at my photos for ‘America 2012’ you will see it there.  I have been wanting to run it or at least ride my bike over it ever since seeing it.  I thought it would be a good proving ground for a top speed run on my bike due to the gradient but my efforts in New York I think will be hard to beat until I get to Antigua and the run down from Shirley Heights. Anyway, I digress.  The bridge is closed to pedestrian traffic and cycles, only motor vehicles………..except on November 11th when they allow the people to reclaim it.

I paid my fees and entered the race http://www.pellbridgerun.com/  One glaringly obvious problem – we are leaving Newport at the end of October!  The flight back up is not cheap but I want to do this so much that I just don’t care.  It’s a quick 4 mile dash, that starts at 06:30, no doubt chilly and blowy at that time in the morning but I reckon I can dismiss that run in around 35 minutes and claim my finishers T shirt at the other end.

So, what is this purgatory I hear you ask? Well as Mr. Buckingham thought – it isn’t Scandinavia in the summer.  In Newport there is a hill called ‘Purgatory’. It’s not offensively steep but it is jolly long, the combination of length and incline makes it a fearsome challenge, even more so when I am almost 12 miles into my route when I reach the bottom of it. Of course, the challenge is not the bottom of the hill, it is the top – and with all good challenges it’s all about speed. Just before the crest of Purgatory, there is one of those radar devices that tells you your speed.  It’s quite a good one, it actually picks me out on my bike.  Tonight, I managed to hit 15mph at the top of Purgatory while still on the incline.  I am of course rather chuffed with my achievement but come Thursday, I will be trying my level best to squeeze 16mph out of the top of Purgatory.  I shall post my success.

Let me sign off tonight with a couple of items.  Firstly, Felix Baumgartner. Brave man indeed. To have stood on the edge of the capsule looking at the earth must have been an experience of a life time, but then to jump off – the mind boggles – where would we be without such pioneers?  Maybe some of you are still asking what his stunt may have done for the good of human kind? I am just thankful that nobody stopped him from doing it.

Abu Hamza – Has now left the country.  I have, for a long time been scratching my head in wonder as to why this fuck head has been able to stay in the UK for so long, feeding off the social benefits system while preaching his hatred for the country that supports him and claiming human rights breaches to prevent his extradition.  I often wondered why someone simply didn’t put a bullet in the back of his head and be done with the whole affair.  Now the Americans have him – let’s hope those Yanks are still gun happy with itchy trigger fingers and have the balls to do what the Brits should have done but were too big a bunch of fannies to do it – shoot the prick and stop wasting money on him.

And on that note, I shall retire for the evening, tomorrow I have my work cut out removing two PTO’s yet again.  This time, I do the work myself and get it right!  Can anyone tell me what the differences are between a Range Rover and a Range Rover Sport?