The Older I get

The faster I was !!

I have always thought that but now, now I have definite proof.

Way back in 1996, I got caught speeding in blighty.  Now, I am not talking about a flash from a Gatso, although I have had a few of those too,  I am talking a proper copper with a hand held unit, 107mph.  Proudly, the highest recorded speed in Thame Magistrates Court for that day.  A few years after that, I accidentally managed to overtake an unmarked Police car at around 102mph.  Sneaky those Norwich coppers – using unmarked Volvos back in 1999.

Then yesterday (wait for it Mother!) I got pulled over by a State Trooper who quite calmly told me ‘I got your speed at 92’. Of course, my first reaction was to blurt out   ‘ is that all ? – hardly worth pulling me up for that!’   but I decided to keep it quiet, american visa and all.

So here’s my theory.  I am loosing on average about 1mph per year so by the time DVLA decide to retire my driving license in 2039,  I will finally be driving under the speed limit, my estimate is a top speed then of 65mph which will be quite respectable me thinks.  That is of course if we are not all flying around on hover boards by then or the euro bureaucrats haven’t outlawed speeds above 15mph and made all car manufacturers fit seat spikes that stick you in the arse if you break the law.

Last night I pulled my last ‘tourist’ item from my New York list – A quick run around Central Park.  I say quick but I meant 7.5 miles of it, and that was just one lap. I was tired and getting pissed off with running into dead ends everywhere. Strange that in the land of the free, 25% of the Park remains fenced off.

Tomorrow we leave New York and head North a little bit, back to glorious Rhode Island


Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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