Author Archives: hairygoose

11/05/2006

surviving the dream

By hairygoose
well, for a while now i have been having this dream,
 
on a budget flight, during take off, the plane struggles with power and can´t gain height, as it turns and heads back to the airport it crashes into the sea.
 
in a few hours time, i will be flying with squeezyjet and taking off from palma out over the ocean.
 
if you dont hear from me again, you know what happened
 
 
how queer

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10/05/2006

uk bound

By hairygoose
ok, so tomorrow after work, i will board that squeezyjet plane heading for blighty.
 
seems a good move for a few days, the weekend is forecast here for rain rain and more rain. Imagine if you were landing her eon holiday – you would be right pissed off
 
anyway, a real quick visit and will be flying out again on  sunday evening, back to work on monday morning.
 
my tour here is almost over and am absolutely gagging to get back to portugal and surf, see my friends and surf some more, not forgettinig the obligatory sun tanning of course. could be a beach bum for a week or two.
 
so i wonder what is waiting for me back in england and also in portugal…..answers on a postcard please.

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09/05/2006

just try it !

By hairygoose

Don’t tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

This is pretty neat.

DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute
Work this out as you read …
Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that! You would like to have chocolate
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get the calculator.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 ….
If you haven’t, add 1755.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

thanks to the ever so lucious lisa melvin for this one

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08/05/2006

re-patriation

By hairygoose
so this week will see me in england again for the first time since crhistmas. OK, it will only be a three day hit but it should be fun as always.
 
will be good to have a short break from Mallorca for a while and then soon i will be heading back to portugal.
 
so this week has been good, busy, sweaty, rainy and i even had a night out in magaluf.
 
 lets start off with the magaluf thing.  There is a place there called pirates. a family entertainment place that has an act half way between panto and acrobatics.  Saturday night was the season premier , a charity event for Great Ormond Street Hospital. Of course, i got a free ticket!!
 
The place was awash with celebrities, Nigel Benn, Linford Christie, Sian Lloyd, that bird off corrie with the curly hair ( she now does a school thing as a teacher), Alex Best ( but she didnt do a thing !) John Fashanu, phil mitchel from east enders, some twat politician that no-one knew, and some irish footballer that no-one knew, sally gunnel and maybe one or two more that i forget.
 
Anyway, the show was absolutely amazing! i could sit here for ages and describe it but it is worth going if only to see the guy acting drunk all the way through the act.  so if you are ever in magaluf – go there!
 
 Now, last night (sunday) i actually had a nightmare! so horrific was this mare that i actually woke up with my pulse pumping in my neck, intense!.
 
so what was this all about?  well, i had asked an old girlfriend to marry me and of course she agreed, but i was so scared that at the time i was due at the church, i decided to stay in the shower and hide! Some of you may remember her – the girl i used to live with in windsor, debbie holder
 
she of course found me but was ok with it. wierd thing is, her face was crystal clear, her figure a little more petite but with a definate latina ass.  maybe someone is trying to tell me something?
 
Anyway, one day nearer to blighty – looking foreward to the visit.

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07/05/2006

adventure of a lifetime

By hairygoose
IF YOU ARE READY FOR THE , ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME

TRY THIS:

01.Enter Pakistan or China illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

02.Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

03.Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.

04.Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, "It is a cultural English thing. You would not understand, pal."

05.Keep your English identity strong. Fly the Union Jack from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

06.Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

07.Demand classes on English culture in their school system.

08.Demand a local driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorized, illegal presence in their country.

09.Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws, such as street racing.

10.Insist that local law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

GOOD LUCK !

You’ll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead. Because it will never happen. It will not happen in Pakistan, China or any other country in the world except right here in England, Land of the naive and stupid, idiotic politically correct politicians. If you agree, pass it on. If you don’t, go ahead and try the above in Pakistan, China or Iran.

 
 
special thanks to debbie miller for this one!! 

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04/05/2006

ebay phone sale

By hairygoose

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03/05/2006

coldplay

By hairygoose
is it just me or are they getting whinier and whinier with each song they kick out?
 
first two albums, awesome, now they have all gone to shoite

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03/05/2006

mobile phone sale

By hairygoose

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02/05/2006

Jo Whiley saved my life

By hairygoose
thank god for this goddess!!
 
still deep in the depths of depression and home sickness, i decided to hit the radio 1 website and have a listen to jo.
 
i have missed madly her show, music, reviews, talk. one thing the uk definately still rules the world in is music – there simply is nothing better.
 
so now i am listening while writing – every day i love you less and less – oh yeah baby!  it makes me sick to think of you undressed!!!
 
 

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02/05/2006

mills and boon

By hairygoose
a sad state of affairs i  know, but i finished all my good books.
 
out of desperation, i picked up a book that was laying around in the apartment.  I know, i shouldnt really admit this but it is a Mills and Boon!!!
 
but heres the thing, the author is a woman. I am now being treated to a romance novel from a womans perspective.  Try to imagine, i read over 100 pages before the two characters got to the kissing stage. If the author were a man, by page two , he would have been wiping his knob on the curtains.
 
Anyway, i hate to admit this too, but i am somewhat rivetted, i cant wait to get home and read some more.
 
in order to keep the male balance, i just popped into the second hand shop here in santa catalina and bought a couple of books, both by tom clancy, i think when i have finished them, i have read all of his work. maybe by christmas, i will start to write my own.
 
anyway, time to go

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