adventure of a lifetime



01.Enter Pakistan or China illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

02.Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

03.Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.

04.Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, "It is a cultural English thing. You would not understand, pal."

05.Keep your English identity strong. Fly the Union Jack from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

06.Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

07.Demand classes on English culture in their school system.

08.Demand a local driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorized, illegal presence in their country.

09.Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws, such as street racing.

10.Insist that local law enforcement teach English to all its officers.


You’ll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead. Because it will never happen. It will not happen in Pakistan, China or any other country in the world except right here in England, Land of the naive and stupid, idiotic politically correct politicians. If you agree, pass it on. If you don’t, go ahead and try the above in Pakistan, China or Iran.

special thanks to debbie miller for this one!! 

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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