The first thing I intend to do when I get home for my first break is to sit quietly with an ice-cold glass of Cravendale semi skimmed milk and a full size packet of McVities Chocolate Digestives fresh out of the fridge and eat as much as I can – you see, it’s the simple pleasures in life that are important.
Let’s talk Trump for a moment. I like this guy for the simple reason that each morning when I open the news pages on the internet, there will be a very amusing story about what Trump has been up to the previous day – politics has never been so colourful – not in my lifetime anyway.
Ok, that may come as a shock to a few, first Brexit, then Trump but I am also expecting the dutch to vote for Geert Wilders in a couple of months time and then Marine Le Pen to finish a close second in her elections. The face of Europe is changing.
Lets talk Asia for a moment. I have started a little photo album over to the right. I will add photos as I can – the problem is, there is so much stunning scenery yet I am fully aware how shite scenery photos can look – So I will try to get creative. I can’t help but avoid one or two scenery shots but I will try to keep them to a minimum. Apart from that, in almost 2 months of being here, I have had just 3 hours to myself off the boat. It has been a busy busy time. I have now had a chat with each Captain and told them that this level of use with lack of maintenance is not sustainable and if I can’t win the maintenance game, I won’t play (obviously I put it more diplomatic than that).
I hope to get some time out soon so that I can head to the local red light district of Patong. It is here I intend to set the scene for ‘Lady Boy or Lady Girl’. This is a new game I am developing for you pale faces back home. My intention is to present to you 10 photos of the local hookers, you just need to guess which is which. I am not too sure if any of the hookers will be happy to let me take photos of them touting for business – I rather suspect I will have to buy them each a drink at the over inflated bars’ prices where they work. Either that or I will get beaten to death by handbags.
Obviously this game is dependent on me actually getting off the boat, which, for the first two months has proved impossible. I managed 3 hours the other weekend when I made it to Nai Yang where I had breakfast overlooking the beach and then a half hour Thai massage ( no happy ending!). I did thoroughly enjoy it if I am honest. I was a little surprised when I realised the masseuse was actually standing on my thighs and arse cheeks – but when in Rome !
I land in the UK on the 22nd March – it would be good to head to the Merchants for a beer. Let me know what you think. I also have a local number here in Thailand for those that don’t know it yet. +66 634 977 489 – works great (free) with iMessage and equally free with Skype.
Just had another tip today – that brings the grand total to 27,000 baht since I got here in mid December. No time to get off and spend it means it could be in my wallet for a long long time
love you long time – $5 fucky fucky
Have a moan - the beers are on me !!