Cheeky eBay Bar Stewards

Woe is the generation that believes all that their computer screen puts in front of them.  From social media outlets to the ‘wonderful for stupid people’ eBay.

Last month I tried to sell my Range Rover on eBay.  Unfortunately it didn’t sell.  It did however, attract a lot of wankers.  You know the type – ‘I will give you 10 grand cash by saturday’ or ‘will you take my pikey mobile in part exchange’.  How these feckless idiots actually manage to navigate their way through life baffles me, but then eBay took one step closer to the crown of ‘Wankers of the Universe’  by sending me a mail suggesting I relist it with a 99p start price.  Can you imagine the fucktards that would crawl out of the woodwork for that one?

They also sent me some examples of ‘similar’ cars that had started as a 99p sale and also listed what they actually sold for as an example to tempt me in deeper to their dark web of deceit.  I very quickly took a screen dump of their clever marketing strategy – see how long it takes for you to spot the problem (if it takes you longer than 3 seconds, I recommend you stay far far away from internet sites that can take your money).

Spotted it?  I hope you did, and instantly too.

Actually, thinking about it, selling the same car twice could double my money and potentially mean my next car is ‘for free’.

On a lighter note, I got my race number for the upcoming Great North Run (Yes Susan, I am talking about running again).  The race takes place on Sunday 13th September and will be live on the BBC.  if you see someone running that looks like me, wearing the number below – there is a very good chance it might be me.  Please therefore wave at your TV screen.

If my timing is a little out and you see me squatting at the side of the road squeezing one out – DIVERT YOUR EYES!!!!!!

And Finally

Did you ever make a mistake that pays off?  Last week, I emailed the captain of my current boat asking for a reference as I have found another project of interest.  I accidentally sent the request to the vessel manager rather than the current Captain.

Normally this would have been a disastrous faux pas but in my case, it may have actually done a whole heap of good.  I had been trying to get a committment out of the manager for some time as to how much longer my contract might run – he had never responded but the slip of an email suggesting I might not return to them at the end of the month had him on the phone within 48 hours offering things like a ‘sale’ retainer.  If I stay on and the boat is sold from underneath me, I would get a 3 month salary bonus on top of everything else.  The conversation ended with him asking me to consider what I want to stay on until the end……………………now, what shall I do?