Well well well, a new Tory government. I kinda expected that – I generally think that the people of the UK want to have a vote on their membership of the EU. Now, the eurocrats are running scared. Not because the UK might leave but if they do, others will want to follow suit when they see that the UK has survived. I get to talk to people from other countries all around europe and they all tell me they are pissed off with giving money out to other countries and treating immigrants better than they treat their own people. A revolution is in the wings – mark my words.
After spending a lot of time in Brussels over the last 5 years, you get to see how much EU money is in that city – there is a lot. All from the pockets of people in all of the EU countries, paying for diplomats to live in their luxury houses with reserved parking, finishing work at 2 in the afternoon and generally doing fuck all. It’s big business, grabbing the eurocrats money – as fast as it is grabbed, it is claimed back on expense reports.
Enough about politics – this morning I got up at 05:15 to hit the pavement for a quick half marathon before the sun came up. I managed a respectable 2 hours 4 minutes for what was almost a kilometre too far, so by my reckoning, I was actually under 2 hours for the correct distance. My previous best was 2 hours 9 minutes so a good improvement.
I got passed the other day while walking by a squadron of German cyclists, in efficient formation, line astern, pedals perfectly in tune and of course matching lycra. Now that made me chuckle.
You may remember me mentioning in a previous post about an idea for a new photo gallery. Well today, I am launching a photo gallery called ‘The Poo Files’. The world is full of smart phones, so be sure next time you go for a dump to take your phone with you. Just after you have squeezed one out, stand up, turn around and take a photo. If that is a bit too hard-core for you, feel free to snap away at any old pile of shit you find lying around (that does not extend to unwanted husbands!).
Did I tell you about what happened the other night? I was sitting on the toilet at Mason’s place here in Palma when I heard the clip clop of high heels on the floor above me. There is one thing you need to know about these local latin birds – they love themselves. They honestly believe that their own shit doesn’t stink, really – better still, most of them believe they are above shitting, the way they walk around all glam’d up with their noses in the air, they really love themselves. Anyway, I heard the clip clop above me, then a short pause of silence. I then heard what must have been one of the most almightiest unloads I have ever heard – even worse than you hear in motorway services just outside of Heathrow airport – it was a monster. Of course, my natural reaction was to LOL.
It also reminded me that I needed to post two photos of what were, for me, quite monumental dumps. One I am calling ‘foot long’ the other I refer to as ‘the submarine’ – see if you can tell which is which, but please give me a few minutes to add them on the photos page – and remember, if you do anything equally as interesting, be sure to send me a photo, listing your name, age, sex and general diet.