Monthly Archives: July 2007

06/07/2007

sisters !!!!!

By hairygoose
 
 Nelson Mandela  is sitting at home one day, when there’s a knock at the door. Standing in Nelsons doorway is a small Japanese man, dressed  in a white coat and holding a clipboard.
 "Good morning Sir" says  the man, "You take derivery of two thousand flont headrights"
 "Two  thousand front headlights?" exclaims Nelson, "I haven't ordered headlights, you must have the wrong address, now good day to you". And
he shuts the door.
 The following morning, Nelson hears the door bell ring. He opens the door, and again there is the small Japanese chap, white coat and clipboard.
 "You take derivery of 124 pair  rinscreen riper" Says the man.
 "Windscreen wipers? I haven't  ordered windscreen wipers, now clear off! " And he slams the  door.
 Saturday morning arrives and Nelson is just sitting down  with his freedom coffee and the paper, when there's a knock at the  door.
 Again, standing in the doorway is the Japanese  man.
 Looking down at his clipboard he says "You take derivery of  600 spark prugs"
 "Now listen to me" screams a very irate Nelson. "I  don't know what's going on here, but let me make this perfectly  clear, I HAVEN'T 
ORDERED ANY F**KING CAR PARTS, NOW F**k  OFF!!"
 The bewildered Japanese man looks hard at his clipboard  and then says,
 "So you not Nissan Main  dealer?"


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03/07/2007

there is usually a chick involved!

By hairygoose
 
i spoke to julia last night, the girl that lives in my house in portugal, or rather, she spoke to me. she was furious that i had told her i intend to return in two weeks time. I had to ask the question ´am i allowed back into my own house´ she was having a complete egg.
 
at first i thought she was joking with me, i even laughed at her, but sudde nly it dawned on me that she was serious, saying the house was too small for both of us, she has paid rent, put her books out, painted the rooms etc.
 
it finished along the lines of , i was happy to share with her, if she has a problem sharing with me, then she needs to move on. The more i think about the conversation, the more confused i get. we spent months living together and nothing was a problem. I only charge her 100 euros a month and that includes her electricity too so maybe you can understand why i am so miffed.  I actually checked out some flights today to get over there and sort it out but i had calmed down a lot by this morning.
 
I called justin, the surf board maker who rents the annex. I asked if all was well at the house as her reaction to the whole situation really did shock me. I wondered if maybe she had turned it all into a hippy commune or something but he reassured me all was well.
 
i ownder if she has kept up to date with her rent too?
 
anyway, back to the main subject, chicks
 
the whole reason i am hanging out for a week or two here is to wait to see a chick i met from one of the boats. a very sweet american girl (fuck yeah!) and see what happens from there.
 
after that, its portugal until september when i have to leave for norway!
 
 
 
authors footnote  – i know its been a while but i have a real pearler for you today ….GROWING OLD IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL!!!
 
 

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01/07/2007

so let me bring you up to speed

By hairygoose
 
I jumped off of Yanneke Too on friday evening after a ‘brush’ with the skipper. The yachting industry is pretty awesome and sadly can still be filled with people that talk to you like you are a fool. so for the second time, i quit this boat! despite the skippers best appologies and attempts to keep me on, i always feel that once bitten twice shy is a good rule to live by.
 
Shame though, the owner asked me to stay on which i declined unless he had the apetite to bring the boat up to scratch. I told him i had no intention of staying and making quick patches on the boat. i suggested that he needs a three year plan with at least 4 months downtime each year to bring the boat up to speed. He agreed on the spot and included a 5 month lay over in florida next year. that, i would have enjoyed but i know i would have been constantly banging heads with the skipper about priorities and how a boat should be maintained.
 
it is wierd though, the things you find out after the event! since being back in palma, everyone that knows the boat is suggesting their surprise that i stayed as long as i did, and of course i was surprised to be told of the skippers coke habit but with hindsight, that would explain the irrational behaviour. so, yanneke too is no more. The day after i left, the first mate also resigned his position.
 
I have secured a role on Nariida starting in september. I have to join the boat in Norway and sail back to palma where the boat will be prepared for a race to the caribbean. I will deliver the boat to the canaries for the beginning of november and then have a little time off while the boat races the atlantic but i will also have to fly to the carribean for christmas to bring the boat back to palma. All that is left to do is agree a salary with the skipper but i am sure they will be fair with their offer.
 
so i have two weeks in palma to kill time before leaving for home and a two month surf holiday on my home beaches. i am looking forward to that, last time i was home, was for new year and in the company of the doctor!
 
sadly, i have no fuckwit observations to add at the moment, i have been working my ass off and not had time to watch anything or anyone. I am also uninspired to add my usual authors footnote but keep coming back. i am on the loose for the next two months, all hell is about to break loose.
 
 

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