curious things in life

a wise old chinese man once told me – believe half of what you hear and everything that you see (obviously i translated it for the benefit of those who are not fluent in chinese!)
But some things recently have aroused my curiosity somewhat. Of course, we have all heard the statement, 78% of statistics are made up on the spot!
but there is a bigger blag than that!
you all must have heard about the report ‘they’ did on peanuts in a bowl at a bar. Apparently, when tested, ‘they’ found 32 different traces of urine on the nuts! ok, intially you are shocked but think about it for a second. You have seen these bowls right? do you really think there are 32 handfulls of nuts in one of those stingy bowls? and even after 32 clammy hands had been in there, the would be no bloody nuts left to test. It also raises the question of why havent ‘they’ got anything better to do with their time ?
Ok, not so much a blag, more of a massive overstatement. My chums across the pond (america – fuck yeah!), we have all seen those ‘ high speed vee-hickle pursuits’ that they have over there, and we are all familiar with the method of halting such pursuits. The manouvre i am talking about is called a P.I.T. Manouvre, or in laymans terms a Presicion Intervention Technique! The PIT manouvre consists of a ‘police cruiser’ ramming the rear quarter of the bandit vee-hickle until it spins out, looses control and crashes. My question is simple, how precise is that ???
Here endeth todays lesson on the observations of a fuckwit! which for some reason, microsoft wouldnt let me call my page? Ah, before i go, i would like to appologise to my chums at microsoft.
I lost the sound on my speakers and headphones for the laptop last week. I looked at their support site only to read that there was a problem with windows vista when the laptop lid is closed and the unit hibernates. There was a ‘hotfix’ as they call it but i wasnt allowed to download it. I was also told that i could contact a microsoft person for support, 40 quid plus tax but if i had a pre installed unit it wasnt their problem and i should contact the laptop manufacturer.
But they are helpful. they left a customer feedback questionaire at the bottom of the page, you know, did this answer solve your problem and how easy was it to understand and another section for additional comments, so i gave them some feed back and some comments. something along the lines of ‘ you scamming shits sold me this crap and now want me to pay to fix your problem’ or something similar, and finished it off with ‘next time i will buy an apple’
two days later, i found a volume control button on the front edge of the laptop !!!!!!!!!
seems more people read these little sections than i originally thought. so, to prove my point, if you have read this section, please do something for me. in the visitors book on the right hand side of the page please leave a comment. keep it simple and just ask one question…….’where is max?’

3 responses to “curious things in life

  • Lineke

    Heya there, I was impressed by how much thought you can give a bowl of nuts? Where do you come up with these thoughts? Keep up the thinking and when I see you again I may just explain to you the relevance of the research. Some research is done for a reason…this one was probably done by women to show how disgusting mens hygiene really is…by the way I don\’t think it was urine it was male ejaculate…

  • jo

    I was asking myself exactly the same thing…. astounding !

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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