Tag Archives: two months off

Two Months Off

Before I do anything else, I want you to click on the link below and watch the news story – you will need sound too.


What an amazing guy – maybe one day I will do something as amazing as that, although I better hurry up –  I ‘aint getting any younger.

So work has finished for the next two months, that’s not too shabby!  I start the holiday season with a quick trip to England before jetting off to Egypt  for 3 weeks.  Tricky this one, I am making a back up plan of escape from the country in case of all out civil war.  I reckon I need a code word for my Uncle so that he can steal a plane, fly it to Egypt and extract me, all under the cover of darkness of course – similar to the German kid that landed a plane in Red Square way back in 1987.  Wouldn’t that be exciting!!  As he is turning the plane at the end of the runway with the door open, I can run along side, throw in my bags, jump in and close the door while shouting ‘go go go ‘.  Then while buckling myself in, in true Roger Murtaugh style I can mumble ‘ I’m too old for this shit’.

Much to the missus’s disgust, I have eaten a couple of kilo’s of chocolate since I got back, all washed down with a couple of bottles of Belgian beer or the odd glass of red wine.  The upshot of that is, since getting here last Friday, I have dropped half a kilo in weight – ah, the irony of weight loss !  There are many women out there what wish a diet of beer, wine and chocolate was for them.

This saturday will be a new chapter in the history of personal endurance.  Myself and Rupert (AKA Poopie Pants) are heading back to the Coventry Park Run.  I will be aiming for a new PB and will accept nothing less.  Rupert, I am sure, will not be far behind.  The real ace in the pack is that I managed to talk both ‘better halves’ into it too.  I even tried to get Older Sister (due to seniority she has been promoted from Big Sis, to Older Sister out of respect) to attend but injury will keep her away – I guess you get more delicate as you get older, the closer to 50 means the longer for injuries to heal, then of course, there is the fact that you are generally more fragile anyway.

I expect some backlash from that – much the same as I got when I told you about the mystery shoe thief that broke into the house and took one pair of ladies shoes and nothing else. I would like to say I have learned my lessons but that is highly unlikely, especially when I am gifted fresh ammunition on a daily basis.

For those of you with RunKeeper, you can now track me live and see where I am (handy if you want to rob me) how fast I am going and most importantly if I lay dead somewhere – you can find me.  I had to pay for that upgrade so I would appreciate if someone would use it.  You will also be able to track me in Egypt should I need to covertly escape – please keep that to yourself though, I wouldn’t want the authorities to track me too.  It could also come in handy should I get lost.  Yesterday I was in the forest deep in thought while running.  As I came out of the thought, a bit like an out of body experience, I looked at the track ahead of me and thought – ‘where the fuck am I ?’.  For a brief moment, I had no clue where I was, or even which country I was in.  To make it worse, I was approaching a cross roads in the track and needed to make a decision quickly.  It’s funny how life changes as you get older – now I get a kick out of not knowing where I am, when I was younger it was all about not knowing where I was going.

Tomorrow morning I head for the serenity of the RR Sport – my trusted steed for my next mini road trip.  I say mini because Belgium to England really isn’t so bad – more of a 6 hour sprint, punctuated with a train ride under water.

On return from Egypt I intend to be a fully qualified scuba instructor

10k is the new 5k

I am almost home and dry, my watch will finish by 17:00 on Thursday 30th January and I am looking forward to my two months off (which ironically is also one of Underworlds greatest tracks). Will I miss Italy – not one bloody bit.

I have devised some plans that are guaranteed to piss of the Italians.

1.  Increase the tax on ice cream

2. Raise the price of fags by a euro

3. Enforce traffic laws

4. Make them all do ‘National Service’ in customer service jobs

5. Make them start and finish work on time


Of course, if any of those fail, we could always remind them that it was only a couple of generations ago that they stood shoulder to shoulder with the Nazis.

Why am I so annoyed with these muppets?  4 times now, I have come close to getting run over while on pedestrian crossings (with the green man lit) and when I say close, I mean ‘punching the bonnet’ close.  Two twisted ankles while running on the roads – for all the forest and cross country running I have covered, I have NEVER twisted an ankle – give me 3 months in Genoa and I get two. Contractors blatantly lying to me face to face, a lack of ability to achieve even the most simple task on time and/or to an acceptable level but most of all, their ability to make me feel like I need to apologise to them for their short comings.

So what next?  Egypt !  Seems to be a bit of a war zone at the minute but that has potential to turn into a huge adventure of getting out of a war torn country on foot, alive and sane.

Italy has provided me with some winning situations though.  I have broken my 10k record time twice now (once only 6 days after my 2nd twisted ankle) and yesterday I also beat my mountain bike top speed record and pushed the envelope (listen to my corporate speak) up to 44.3mph.  I also have 4 days left to break my 7k and 5k records which I fully intend to do unless I have another twist.

I gave a security guard a run for his money the other night, I came running in one of the exits to the shipyard and heard him get off his seat.  Next he was out of his gatehouse shouting at me to stop but I thought better of it.  I was against the clock and I was pretty certain he would be too lazy to actually give chase – and I was also hoping that if he decided to draw his gun, he would be as shit a shot as he was an athlete.  I never stopped, he never shot me, that has to be a win win situation.

Now, I have to get lucky again tomorrow night as I run the 5k and turn in past his gatehouse again I will be sprinting for almighty with plenty of Billy Big Steps – if nothing else, the incentive to dodge bullets should get me a good 5k time. As a minimum I will be running in a zig zag pattern until out of shooting range.

Come Friday morning, I will be road tripping again – Switzerland at first light and into the snowy Alps.  I will be trying very hard this time not to trip any speed cameras before hitting the dizzy heights of downtown Brussels and my first Belgian beer in 3 weeks.

I spotted 2 new adventures this week on the TV.   A 10 mile race up and then back down Snowdon and then a full marathon through Snowdonia.  I expect to be signed up for both of them before too long

Next race is scheduled for Saturday 8th February in Coventry as I hit the local Park Run again, Poopie Pants will be there, and so might my sister if she isn’t too busy looking into when she gets her pension book.



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