Wind is blowing hard at the moment and bringing some sloppy surf onto the island. It certainly isn’t Portugal but if you are an islander or even someone who has been stuck here for a few months with work and has island fever, it may come as a welcome break for you.
I had some fun at the bank today. My spanish bank card expired 15 months ago but as I haven’t been here for any length of time I never bothered renewing it until today, and that was only prompted last night on the way to squash by Tall Paul who handed me a bank statement. So, the transcript of what happened in the bank (tranlsated into English for the ease of my multi cultural readers)
me – Morning, I need a new bank card please
handing over the old card, the spanish lady looks at it, turns her face sour like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle then says
bank girl – You have ID?
I gave her my driving license as I never thought to take anything else to the bank to get a new card
bank girl – This is a driving licence
me thinking to myself – no shit Sherlock !
bank girl – I need a passport
me, facial expression – oh fucking hell, here we go again, anything but help the client – spanish stylie – 15 minutes back to the boat to get it, 15 minutes back to the bank, another 15 minutes to find a parking space
bank girl after clearly reading my expression – OK, I can do it with this
She then read the address they held on the system for me to confirm where to send the card. it wasn’t my address and it was not an address I had ever had in Mallorca. I told her that was wrong and then gave her the statement that had been sent to me just days before. She naturally looked confused, I now feared the worst and was waiting for the one thing that sends a spear of pain and fear down your spine – The Spanish Shrug.
The Spanish Shrug is that moment in time where, without the use of words, the locals can tell you that exactly not one single fuck is given for your plight – worse still, the shrug also implies that not one single fuck will be given at some point in the near or mid distant future. You are, as we so politely say in blighty – up shit creek without a paddle!
To my complete and utter amazement, she calmly started updating the address on her computer with the address on the statement that her bank had produced in the last 7 days. Then she cut my old card in half and told me a new card will be with me in 7 to 10 days
Now, lets be clear, thats 7 to 10 working days – clearer still, 7 – 10 Spanish working days so lets call it 3 weeks before the new card might land on Tall Paul’s doorstep but to really add insult to injury, they will also charge me 25€ for the privellage of sending me a new card.
Don’t even get me started about vodafone Spain changing my phone contract a year ago and taking treble the normal monthly fee without even telling me!
If you have ever wondered why the eurozone is having problems – come out to any of the latin countries and see for yourself exactly why there are problems.
Me personally – I love it