ok ok, i know, it’s been more than a month but all that i have been doing is working – so thats my excuse!!!!
Tonight, i let loose a little.  no work this weekend and no shops open, not even the supermarkets – not even  supermaercado cidon in portals nous and that place is ‘open all hours’.
Facebook family will be aware that tonight i ventured into a small restaurant called ‘Karkade’ to view some exotic belly dancers.  It’s fair to say that the first two dances really didn’t inspire me, i was beginning to think that at the end of the evening i would have to be ‘polite’ and tell them that i really enjoyed the evening.
stragne thing was, by the third dance, they were really hotting up.  So much infact that my host for the evening came out and started dancing like she had ten vibrators shoved up her snatch – it really was excellent to watch.
In true latina tradition, they were later than billed – so much so that i didnt make it to bar ‘Aretha’ until 12.30am to meet the birthday boy Paul.  The dancing was so exotic that i troubled the dancer for her phone number and got it – so we will be taking coffee tomorrow afternoon, as soon as i wake up !
Bar Aretha was as cool as its name suggests – a chilled out place that kept us going until near 2am. when we left for Gomilla.  Gomilla has a reputation as seedy as it name sounds.  Hookers of both sexes are allegedy as abundant as boats in a boat yard – i have to say, i never saw either!!
We hit an ‘alternative rock’ bar called ‘ Tunnel ‘ , a real grunge pit at first impressions.  It had potential but the locals still don’t have any idea what a grunge night or mosh pit is all about.  i can only compare it to ‘The Charlotte’ in leicester city centre (Max, you will love this place, if you do actually make it here in january, i promise to take you ).  I tried, with the help of birthday boy paul to start a mosh – the locals dance like they are at a Kylie Minogue concert, feet rooted in one spot.  They were completely head fucked at what we were doing but we carried on regardless, even if it was a very soft version of what you might see in the UK.  Tunes like queens of the stone age, rage against the machine, RHCP, Pearl Jam, i even heard Blink 182 at one point and of course ‘ enter sandman’ by the ever mighty metallica!
By 04.20  , i was as sweaty as a hookers twat on a busy night and decided to leave for home.  I walked, crab like, sideways all the way home, it took me all of 20 minutes, i am sure it would be half of that sober!!
And now, finally, i am home, pissed as a tart and smelling like a crack whore’s nickers after a fifty dollar score!
I would like to thank the ever lucious Lisa Melvin for her prompt to update my blog, Cristina Jimenez for being my belly dancer for the evening, Max in Leicester for just being herself and Russ Clark for always being a complete cock !!!!
Authors footnote – wow, its been years since i wrote one of these!!  i would just like to say that while writing this, i was completely munted !!  Big love to Gary Lineke and of course, Fat Pat (Pocahontis)

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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