bless me father – for i have sinned

It´s been so long since my last confession.
I would like to appologise to paddy in mallorca at this moment in time.  My confession contains no filthy shagging sessions, no drunken nights out (or in!) not one thing exciting in any way. I would just merely like to tell you all that i am still alive and now tied up in Martinique.  I havent seen any dolphins, sea turtles or beautiful coral reefs while diving – infact i havent been diving for weeks.
My new longboard is ready and safely stowed in alex faggotpants garage – in alex´s words `your new board is fucking rad ` All i have to do now is get back to blighty and pick the damn thing up.  I can´t tell you how excited that makes me.  Maybe old age is making me sad but if i had the choice of a night with a dozen russian circus lesbians with a jar of chocolate sauce – or an hour with my new long board, i would choose the board every time………..ok, maybe not everytime but it would be a close thing. (i had to say that for paddy)
I will be glad to get back to europe and just be able to get on with things.  It can be hard here to get things done, there are a few exceptions, i have stumbled across a few suppliers who have fallen over themselves to help me out and i have to say, the most helpful were american – they just nail that customer service thing.  Special thanks to Gina in California and Brian in Florida!!
Now, lets get back to that free BMW for the 20,000th reader.  Its still there and we havent reached it yet, still need just over a thousand more hits and we will have it.  Paddy may claim to be an avid reader of my page, but i know better. i know that he only reads it when i mail everyone and tell you to, a bit like Carol `out of office` Mayers , who according to facebook, is finally getting married.
Anyway, visitor number 20,000 gets a free brand new BMW so spread the word and keep coming back, you never know, it could be you.
authors footnote – Free BMW, syndication is allowed, no correspondence will be entered into, authors decision is final, you can enter as many times as you like

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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