dandelion and burdoch

ok, i realise it has been the best part of a week and that may dissapoiint one of my most avid readers here in mallorca – everyone please say hello to gail!
so, why is it that you can only find dandelion and burdoch in england? when i was a kid , it was the only thing to be drinking.
So let me fill you in on what has been happening.
Last night i went to paddys place again. great place he has, an absolute kids heaven, which is why i had so much fun last night. I went to look at his car again but ended up chasing his kids around his `garden`on their quad bikes. bloody excellent. what was really cool was test driving his car and having the dogs chase me all the way to the main road and back again. its just like in those old american films with the opening scene of the truck driving up to the homestead and the dogs barking and chasing, just one of those moments when you had to be there. All that was missing was a voice over shouting `shane – shane` that would have made it!
once more, he cooked an absolute stonking dinner for us and afterwards, i headed to santa catalina to meet with mason ( the cock) and lexa who left today.
I met them at a restaurant called `go east`just as they were ready to leave. as we walked out, mason started scratching his head, he couldnt remember where he had parked his car – TWAT!!!!!
so the three of us walked around for what must have been half an hour looking for it until eventually we all split up and searched seperately. Eventually we found it and headed off to another bar for a whiskey as i was feeling sick with flu or something like that.
last week something great happened, totally unprovoked of course. I got a pay rise. Yep, after landing here and having mike tell me he wasnt going to pay me as we agreed earlier in the year, i headed off in search of work for myself. As you may have read, i bagged some cool work on a big sailing boat called nariida ( www.nariida.com ). well, last week , much to my disbelief, mike appeared on nariida and started talking to craig, the engineer and also the guy who employs me. He was asking craig how long he would be keeping me on the boat blah blah blah. Ok, on its own, it could have been an innocent inquiry but, and this really does take the piss, this happened while i was there crouched between mike and craig. mike decided to talk to craig about me, over my head without asking me, or even aknowledging my presence.
Ok, so the best thing i could do was walk away. Obviously i was raging at his complete lack of everything humane. i sometimes wonder if he is still suffering from the shock of the white south african movement loosing the fight for apartheid.
anyway, getting back to the good stuff, i was concerned as to what he was trying to achieve so i spoke with craig later in the day and explained everything as i saw it, voiced my concerns and supported this with a couple of stark comments, one being that i would never work for mike again, if you cant trust someones word , then you just gotta say fuckèm, and secondly, i supported this by telling craig i was earning 100 bucks a week less working on nariida but i was happy to swallow that loss. then would you believe it, the next day, craig made up the difference.  bonus!
Other things this week – i watched a young mom and her two kids crossing the road. Yep, i guess you are saying `so what` but look at it from another point of view. the mom was obviously bored off her tits and going about her day, the kids, once on the crossing, saw a great opportunity to play the game, only walk on the white bits. of course, they only had little legs so they had to jump from one band to the next. their little legs couldnt muster enough spring to make it all the way so the latter part of the jump was supported by their mums arms. they were loving it and the mum wasn`t but i laughed.
work is looking very healthy as i come toward the end of the year. i do have one superb trick up my sleeve that will make you all drool with envy but i really have to keep that up my sleeve for now, needless to say, if i pull it off, you will hear my sister from anywhere in the uk saying those famous, many times uttered words –
wayne can fall in shit and get up smelling of roses!
so on that note
i think it is time to leave but not befor eyou all do me one small favour. on 1st december at 11am GMT, could you all shout for me – `mason – you`re a cock`i wonder if we will here it over here?

One response to “dandelion and burdoch

  • Verity

    hello sweetness…. congrats on your payrise! I am concerned that you are getting all mushy about mums and children 🙂 Glad everythings good with you…. Love V xxx

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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