nudge parking

ok, you probably have no idea what i am about to talk about but over here, it is something of a phenomenon (please read that word with an american accent)
 
i get a great view from my terrace, and when i figure out how to add movies to this page, i will get some for you.
 
this is a style of parking that could only ever happen in spain. it can work here only because most people couldnt give a toss about their cars – and after all, why call a part of a car a bumper if you can´t bump into it once in a while?
 
ok, there are two key issues to deal with when nudge parking.
 
1. the space isn´t big enough for your car
 
2. the space is big enough for your car.
 
in true spanish style, let me deal with it in the wrong order.
 
2. you approach a space and you think no-one is looking.  as you stealthily approach, you also notice that both cars surrounding the vast space are newer, more expensive and in better condition than yours.  you start your reverse, naturally on too much of a lock and let your left front corner touch the right rear of theirs.
of course, your bumper touches their paint so they get more damage than you.
 
in complete ´shock´ you actually forget that you are still moving backwards and concentrate on looking at the car you just hit – until – you reverse into the car behind you, cracking their bumper or at least number plate.
 
you recoil with the paiin in your heart as you realise that you just damaged two complete strangers cars, select first gear and let your foot slip off the clutch and ram the poor bastards car in front again, breaking rear lights and denting his tailgate.
 
you then switch off the engine, get out of the car as if nothing untoward had actually happened, look upward and see me standing on the terrace with a cup of coffee laughing at you, drop your keys into your handbag with latina flair and walk away as if it was all my fault!
 
 
1.  you drive up a narrow one way street with a few cars behind you, there is a small space but no big deal, you are only driving a nissan micra, the smallest of all things small. you indicate, pull past the space and select reverse gear.
 
turn in at the right angle, floor the throttle and gallop backwards like a cow on E.
 
aim the rear right corner of your car at the front right corner of theirs. hit it hard enough and it just might move enough for you to fit in the new space.
 
when it doesnt move, check your rear view mirrow, realise that there are now four cars watching and waiting to pass and also a madman on a terrace with a coffee laughing at your attempts.
 
select first gear and go and try another street

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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