By the light of the silvery moon

Last night, I watched two episodes of ‘Bottom’.  For the uninitiated, it is not porn but think back to the 90’s when a certain Richard Richard and Edward Hitler graced our screens and you have arrived.

After my double dose of Bottom, I had quite a scary dream where a certain Edward Hitler was in fact my Dentist but thankfully in his latter form as per his recent show ‘Ade in Britain’. He was showing me an X-ray of my pearlies and then started buzzing the drill – it was at that point my alarm woke me up!

Tonight, I had my penultimate Italian lesson of the year, I am actually looking forward to finishing school – I feel that very little has in fact sank in.  A little time off to re-group.  I have noticed a lot recently the sheer amount of people that have their faces buried in their phones while out and about.  What I find hugely annoying is the fuckers that don’t even look up as they walk and text and walk straight into you.  I am currently working on a new technique for this, something that I am calling ‘ a punch in the throat ™ ‘.  While they are laid out on the floor gasping for air, I can then kick the crap out of their phones. I am hoping this tactic will spread like the plague so that the streets can once again become free of these mongs.

I stood at the top of the scaffolding tonight – I know, scaffolding, such a glamorous life, selected my runkeeper walk option and had the music on random. Popped my earphones in and was greeted by a very pleasant tune by The Lemonheads.  I liked it a lot and was festively happy about my random music selection as I started out on my way to school.  It was then that I realised my schoolboy error.  The runkeeper was still set to run from this morning, I hadn’t changed it to walk.  I stopped it, deleted the current event and started again but was distraught not to hear The Lemonheads come back on.  Instead I had The Undertones telling me about how a Mars Bar helps you work, rest and play – classic stuff

The good news from that last paragraph is that I am again successfully running.  The problem with taking a week or so off running is that when you start again, it hurts like bloody hell. Tomorrow morning I will make run Nº 3 for this week, nothing major, just a quick 5k until the weekend when I can stretch out a little more maybe – it’s all good………..except,

Genoa is very dry, humidity wise.  So dry, I started to get some chapping on my thighs and love handles.  I found some Dove moisturiser to compliment the Dove soap that I always use and has it worked? Has it bollocks ! You chicks get sucked in by this shit all the time!  my chapping is still there but worse still, I thought I would do myself a favour and moisturise my face – I mean, what is the worst that could happen, my face wasn’t even chapped but I figured maybe a little softness might make the missus happy next time I see her.

Instead, this wonderful moisturiser has left my face looking more like that of a leper. dry and scabby with flaky skin that wasn’t there pre-moisturising.  The other thing is, it stings like bloody hell after you have put it on. Surely it’s not meant to be like this ?

Or have I been using Acetone instead?