Last night, I watched two episodes of ‘Bottom’. For the uninitiated, it is not porn but think back to the 90’s when a certain Richard Richard and Edward Hitler graced our screens and you have arrived.
After my double dose of Bottom, I had quite a scary dream where a certain Edward Hitler was in fact my Dentist but thankfully in his latter form as per his recent show ‘Ade in Britain’. He was showing me an X-ray of my pearlies and then started buzzing the drill – it was at that point my alarm woke me up!
Tonight, I had my penultimate Italian lesson of the year, I am actually looking forward to finishing school – I feel that very little has in fact sank in. A little time off to re-group. I have noticed a lot recently the sheer amount of people that have their faces buried in their phones while out and about. What I find hugely annoying is the fuckers that don’t even look up as they walk and text and walk straight into you. I am currently working on a new technique for this, something that I am calling ‘ a punch in the throat ™ ‘. While they are laid out on the floor gasping for air, I can then kick the crap out of their phones. I am hoping this tactic will spread like the plague so that the streets can once again become free of these mongs.
I stood at the top of the scaffolding tonight – I know, scaffolding, such a glamorous life, selected my runkeeper walk option and had the music on random. Popped my earphones in and was greeted by a very pleasant tune by The Lemonheads. I liked it a lot and was festively happy about my random music selection as I started out on my way to school. It was then that I realised my schoolboy error. The runkeeper was still set to run from this morning, I hadn’t changed it to walk. I stopped it, deleted the current event and started again but was distraught not to hear The Lemonheads come back on. Instead I had The Undertones telling me about how a Mars Bar helps you work, rest and play – classic stuff
The good news from that last paragraph is that I am again successfully running. The problem with taking a week or so off running is that when you start again, it hurts like bloody hell. Tomorrow morning I will make run Nº 3 for this week, nothing major, just a quick 5k until the weekend when I can stretch out a little more maybe – it’s all good………..except,
Genoa is very dry, humidity wise. So dry, I started to get some chapping on my thighs and love handles. I found some Dove moisturiser to compliment the Dove soap that I always use and has it worked? Has it bollocks ! You chicks get sucked in by this shit all the time! my chapping is still there but worse still, I thought I would do myself a favour and moisturise my face – I mean, what is the worst that could happen, my face wasn’t even chapped but I figured maybe a little softness might make the missus happy next time I see her.
Instead, this wonderful moisturiser has left my face looking more like that of a leper. dry and scabby with flaky skin that wasn’t there pre-moisturising. The other thing is, it stings like bloody hell after you have put it on. Surely it’s not meant to be like this ?
Or have I been using Acetone instead?