modern life

 
Things have changed since i was a kid.  Once , i remember taking a dump at the local train station, back in the day when people did actually poo outside of their own homes.  On the back of the door was some humourous graffiti.  Amongst others, a little line saying –
 
why is abbreviation such a long word?
 
even at a young age, i actually got the irony.  the next graffiti though, at that time, escaped me.  it was written further down, right near the bottom.  it read –
 
if you are reading this, you are straining at an angle of 45º
 
At the time i didnt get it, a bit like Kilroy was ‘ere, but it stayed with me until it sunk in and i had finished my wipe cycle
 
So that got me to thinking about modern day.  Most of us will now have met someone that looks nothing like their photo, have e mail addresses, facebook accounts, blogs in cyberspace and god knows what else. For those of you that are confused with all the little abbreviations that seem to be bastardising our beautiful language, i have decided finally to unravel this little maze of modern blurb.
 
BRB – this is from sesame street, it is a line by ernie, it means – ‘Burt, ready Burt?’
 
LMAO – an easy one to remember, simply ‘Look mum, an Owl!’
 
LMFAO – military use, from a tank division – ‘Left mike, forward and openfire!’
 
LOL – used mainly by builders on building sites, it simply means ‘ Look out love!’ shouted at passers by when they drop bricks and hammers
 
m8 – government codeword. New secret motorway planned for glasgow, it will be called the M8 (M is code for motorway)
 
gr8 – all engineers know this one ‘gooseberry ratchet — size 8’
 
GTG – sports fans will recognise this in an instant – ‘Golf, ’tis great!’
 
MILF – Morning Italy – Life’s fine’ but people should use the original italian version BGIVEP but clearly it doesnt work as well
 
LATWOT – not as commonly used now but trust me, it means ‘look at that wanker over there.’
 
And there you have it.  I hope i have now enlightened you on modern life and its mysteries.  There are some things i miss from back in the day, like classic scooby doo endings
 
It’s old man withers, the guy from the haunted amusement park’
 
And I’d have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you pesky kids!!
 
 

Have a moan - the beers are on me !!

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