CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in
the
cold.
THE END.
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why
the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper,
with
cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead
with a
table laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the
Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant’s house.
The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from
Grimsby
with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has
got
rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike
on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the
summer.
The ant’s taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire
grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his
newly
imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company
[funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened
with Compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
the ant’s food, though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old
house, crumbles around him because he hasn’t bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to
head a commission of enquiry that will cost GBP10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames
it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a Gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for
enriching Britain’s multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a
marijuana growing operation and terrorize the community.
THE END
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in
the
cold.
THE END.
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why
the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper,
with
cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead
with a
table laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the
Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant’s house.
The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from
Grimsby
with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has
got
rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike
on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the
summer.
The ant’s taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire
grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his
newly
imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company
[funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened
with Compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
the ant’s food, though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old
house, crumbles around him because he hasn’t bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to
head a commission of enquiry that will cost GBP10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames
it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a Gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for
enriching Britain’s multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a
marijuana growing operation and terrorize the community.
THE END
i would like to thank my sister for forwarding this message to me – it touched my heart deeply. i also wish it would rip out the hearts of those liberal do gooders and bleeding hearts back in the nanny state of great britain(??).
The November Archives 
March 30th, 2006 at 13:53
quite right well said