Max Max Max,
thanks for the music, it arrived today.
For those of you who dont know who max is, she was my last girlfriend before i left the uk. Today, i got three CD´s that she made for me.
These cheered me up – max always had a wide and varied taste in music, you never quite know what you will get. It always makes me smile when i hear from max. One day she will get her finger out of her arse and create her space so that i can link it from my page.
anyway – this got me to thinking about relationships and again i started to wonder why i was really not very good at them. I was thinking about the lyrics to a song, beyond the sea, and began to wonder what it is i am looking for exactly.
of course, i always believe it is better to spend your life alone than with the wrong person but what if it is my vision of perfection that is wrong ?
I am sure you can physco analyse all of my writing and probably come up with the usual crap – i was abused as a child, or my father didnt love me , or a combination of both, but this simply isnt the case.
So i wonder, this place is full of gorgeous women who are either with someone or dont want to be with anyone – their reasons are their own, my portuguese not good enough to discuss it with them.
whats more, i am confused , yet i dont know what i am confused about – so how can i correct the confusion , if i dont know where it lies? now you understand ?
today was indifferent – not for any particular reason, but today was a day that i need to let out a big sigh, clear my lungs and get on with it, but i just cant find that ´sigh´. for three days now, my alarm has been ringing at 6.30 am so that i can head off in search of surf – it is now officially emmett season here, the only chance of a clear beach will be first thing in the morning and last thing at night, until september, and you know – i cant find any surf either,
today i was unhappy with where i live – want to know why? because the weather was shite – or so i thought. it wasnt really shite, the sun was out, the skies were blue, probably 28 degrees or more, a little windy but no surf. Actually, i live in probably the best part of europe – so what made me unhappy? i dont know. what i do know is that when i wake in the morning, it will all be gone and the sun will be out, the skies blue, the surf crap but i will be happy again.
glad i got all of that off my chest!!!! still none the wiser though.
Max – sort out your page – i want to link it.